Tuesday, January 23, 2007

"I Feel So Degradatated"

It seems as though I have lost my Weight Watcher weight tracker booklet. Knowing that it's somewhere like a trash bin now is pretty logical, but my mind is stirring up images that leave the land of logic and put me in a horrible, paranoid state of being. Someone out there has found this and is making copies and going to plaster them around town...at work...in restaurants...at my Weight Watchers meeting.

I know that's not going to happen, but that booklet, that stupid little booklet that's really a crappy piece of folded paper with little stickers on it stating my weight is out on the loose. And I'm not okay with it.

I noticed that I lost it when I went to weigh in on Saturday...where I was the only person to take my shoes off by the way. It wasn't in my purse. It wasn't in my car. It wasn't stuck between the pages of a book I've kept in my purse for the past couple of months that I haven't opened but will.

So, here I'm sitting at my desk at work and every time someone walks up to me I'm convinced they know what I weigh. And, to those who say, "you're fat...they know you're fat...get over it..." I hear what you're saying...but I have to disagree.

So, if anyone finds my Weight Watcher booklet...tear it up. It says Emily on it and it's out on the prowl.

23 comments:

Anonymous said...

I'm sorry Em. Try not to stress out too much, it's probably in a bin somewhere, rather than in the hands of someone with nothing better to do than to be cruel.

Anonymous said...

I'm curious about the psychological aspect of this post. Will the lost book be used as another excuse to go off program, or will you get another book and move forward to a healthier (and maybe even happier??) life.

Stick with it Emily....I know you can do it!

Anonymous said...

That is PRECISELY the fear I have every time my flash drive is out of my sight...the one full of confidential data, okay, sure, but ALSO fiction (some of it perhaps just slightly indicative of my personal fantasies about people I have no right to fantasize about), poems (some of them perhaps not works of sheerest genius), and journal entries (some of them perhaps a tad revealing about the utter pettiness of my soul.) I picture someone devoting a website to the vile, perverted, untalented (ouch) pettiness of [name deleted just in case]. Sometimes my own hubris and self-absorption amazes even me...but not, mind you, NOT to the point of ameliorating said hubris one little bit.

Stick with the program. I feel your pain, and admire your honesty beyond description, but stick to the program.

Anonymous said...

I'm rooting for you - stay with the program - you can do it!

Anonymous said...

What did this post have to do with her flaking out on the program??? Did she mention that and I can't see it?

Anonymous said...

We HAvE yOur boOklEt. LeAVe $5,0o0 in sMaLL biLLs undEr BoOth 8 aT DaN TaNNAs, anD iT wiLL bE reTurNeD.

Anonymous said...

I've lost it before only to find that I forgot to take it back after getting weighed. They had put it in my file so I could get it back during my next visit...is this a possibility?

Anonymous said...

That's why i always used a marker to cross off my name. I too was paranoid I'd lose it at work.

But like, the way i see it, anyone who knew me already knows i'm fat, so the number is just the number.

How much have you lost, emily? and how come you never post on your own comments? Don't tell me you don't read them! How come yall never post?

Anonymous said...

I think you should circulate another booklet with the weight you'd be happy people knowing you were in... good plan, no?

Alternatively, bomb your hometown, thus obliterating said book. Unless it has travelled further afield, in which case nuclear missiles could be required. Or you could stump up the ransom, as suggested above?

I hate the idea of people I know reading things I've creatively written, but I assume they already know my weight, and embarrassing as it is that I weigh more than most of my friends, I feel that they've probably already guessed and it's only a confirmation of something they already know.

Shoshie said...

I completely know how you feel. When I was in high school, my purse got stolen. Contents included my school ID, driver's license, money, and...my weight watchers booklet and food journal. I completely freaked out at the idea of someone having access to that kind of personal material. Some things are just supposed to stay private. That said, the obnoxious person who stole my purse did not photocopy the booklet and paste it all over the walls of my high school. Still, I remember at the time being mortified at the invasion of my privacy.

jessiferseabs said...

Wait a second -- nobody else TOOK OFF THEIR SHOES!??!

I find this unbelievable. I've never ever seen anybody WI with their shoes on... after 3.5 years of going to meetings. And I live in MN, where you'd think that people wouldn't WANT to take off their shoes because of the cold and slush!

~JS

mariabellissima said...

haha this makes me laugh because today i had MY weight watcher book in my purse and i took it out before i went to my work (im a social worker at a high school)

i can just picture the kids saying "HEY, GUESS WHAT MARIA WEIGHS?!"


they could at least dress the book up somehow and make it look better!

Heather said...

I always weigh in with my shoes. When I first joined, I was wearing a pair of workout pants, TShirt, baseball cap, and sneakers. I make sure that I wear the same exact outfit each time I weigh in so that any fluctions in weight are do to changes in my body as opposed to my wardrobe.

GoBetty said...

I took of my JEANS when I went.

Anonymous said...

maybe it's a germ phobe thang

jessiferseabs said...

I wear the smae clothes too -- but I always take off my shoes. Usually I'm in socks. If it is summer and I happen to be wearing sandals, WW has a roll of paper towels that they insist you set down on the scale before standing on the scale barefoot.

I'm just surprised by the shoe thing.

Anonymous said...

Degradated?

Anonymous said...

lol...i don't mean to laugh but i know the feeling! I lost my WW card once too, at least it was at my house and the only one to see it was my hubby. Which isn't that bad, but i was still a little mortified! I hope you find it before someone finds you with it. Black out your name with a dark marker, thats what i did.

Anonymous said...

I cannot beleive that everyone is so nervous about their booklets. I am not skinny....I am over 200 lbs. But I never obsess about people seeing the book or what I weigh. I figure that they can already tell that I'm fat by looking at me!

Anonymous said...

I can relate Em. No one thinks I weigh as much as I do. I am over 200 myself and I generally just pretend to be slightly under when asked directly.

Along the lines though, I had a phone call with an MRI assistant and they needed my exact weight. My then boyfriend was in the room so I walked out to whisper the amount. When I returned he looked at me and said "just so you know I heard you". I knew he already took issue with my size but I could tell hearing the actual number made him uncomfortable. I was not thin when we met but for some reason I could tell he really was turned off by what he heard. Suffice to say he is old news and my new man loves every ounce of me.

I feel like it shouldn't matter what the scale says, or what my WW book says for that matter. My body is where it is today. I am learning to love it and make the changes I want only for me. Everyone else can kiss my size 18 ass.

Anonymous said...

Everyone else can kiss my size 18 ass.

Well at a size 18, there's room for everyone to kiss it at the same time!

Anonymous said...

Don't worry about the book. If someone is that nosy, their only trying to make themselves feel better about some major flaw they suffer. Besides, you don't need the book to lose weight. Just don't lose the motivation and drive. You can reach you goal.

Anonymous said...

Is the title from Little Women? If so, you rock.