Thursday, February 01, 2007

Expense Reports: Bring 'Em On!


Part of my job consists of me doing expense reports for various people, including myself. Example, when someone goes out of town, they will give me all of their receipts and I will create a report so they can get their money back from the company. It's a very small part of my job, but I must admit, it's my favorite.

Call it creepy, but I love lists. I love year books. I love directories. I love things that feed my little voyeuristic ways of seeing into someones life. And, what better way to see into someones life than to see what they eat!?

Because the company gives you a per diem of what you can spend each day, people, I'm thinking, usually eat more than they would if they were just at home. But, this way, you can see what people would really eat if money and everyday life didn't get in the way. It's great.

Take Lena for example. She just got back from a trip to Chicago. She had McDonald's at the LAX airport. She obviously likes to booze it up a little bit and doesn't shy away from meat entrees. She also likes her dessert.

I didn't think much about Lena before, but I think we could get along. She happens to enjoy cheeseburgers for lunch.

One girl in my office likes to skip breakfast and lunch so she can go to a really fancy restaurant at dinner time and spend her whole per diem there. I respect this. I'm not much of a breakfast person ( a fault I would like to correct). I also could do without lunch. I love that she treats herself to a $50 dinner, where she is dining alone.

Every time Lindsey calls me at work I will let her know what so and so is eating. She thinks I'm crazy. I think I'm a little crazy too, but that's okay...unless I end up in a mental hospital, rocking back and forth quietly saying to myself that Judy likes a side of horseradish with her fries.

21 comments:

Anonymous said...

I think that would be a cool job to you know, just do those expense reports so you can see what people do/eat. Does that make me weird too?

bloomie said...

Dude,

Finally you're back to what you do best. Blogging about fatty stuff and only 2 days after your last post. I'm happy.

I don't have a per diem when I travel, just a corporate card and as long as it's not too excessive no one says anything. I don't usually go for fancy food, just healthy. And believe me in some of the places I go that is harder than it sounds.

Oh and I love room service, asbolutely love it.

Heather said...

You know, I think we are all a wee bit crazy. Is there even a "normal" anymore? Those who are seemingly "normal" are usually the ones with the most craziness....they just keep it well hidden (until they walk into a mall with a shotgun).

I went on a business trip last year. We had no limits as to what we could spend. What did I eat? McDs (dollar menu) and Subway. My only "luxurious" meal was ordering breakfast at the hotel but then one of the VPs of the company came along and ended up putting it on her credit card anyway!!

Now I'm beginning to wish I had taken a bit more advantage!!!

Anonymous said...

Because the company gives you a per diem of what you can spend each day, people, I'm thinking, usually eat more than they would if they were just at home.

No. Only fat people do that.

Anonymous said...

Skinny people definitely take advantage of the per diem as well! My brother-in-law is very thin and actually researches menus in adavance and makes reservations at the places he would like to eat at each night during his business trips. Then, he buys cheap breakfasts and lunches out of his own pocket and goes all out at dinner; including fancy wines, scotches, cognacs, etc. They have 2 new babies at home so I think he just enjoys the chance to eat out.

tara said...

I don't have a per diem, but fear of retribution has worked me enough to where I use my business amex to get subway and eat at the mall food courts rather than blow a lot on fancy meals. I don't even get room service, it seems decadent.
But I don't really eat that stuff at home, so I suppose I am changing the way I eat, it's just that I'm having that mcdonalds cheeseburger I don't usually indulge in. And that's probably why I gain at least two pounds every time I take a business trip.
Whatever, I'm having my fun.

Andrea K said...

I'm sorry, fat and thin people alike like to eat, and it's even better when you don't have to pay for it.

I used to work for a newspaper, and one of my many tasks was taking care of the travel expenses for the reporters and photographers. I too found it intriguing to see what these people did and ate on the road.

You're not crazy at all; it's our basic curious nature to want to take a peek at how other people live. Why else would things like reality TV, My Space and Blogger be so incredibly popular?

Anonymous said...

I'd be creeped out if I thought the invoice clerk in the office was obsessing about my restaurant choices. Like the next step would be rifling through my trash cans.

Anonymous said...

I'd be creeped out if I thought the invoice clerk in the office was obsessing about my restaurant choices. Like the next step would be rifling through my trash cans.

What she said.

Anonymous said...

And that's probably why I gain at least two pounds every time I take a business trip.
Whatever, I'm having my fun.


Yeah, overeating and gaining weight is "fun" isn't it?

Tara said...

Anon 10:36

Enjoying an indulgence once in awhile certainly is fun, yes, I enjoy it. And since it falls off as soon as I go back to exercising and eating as I normally do, I don't regret those indulgences. What's with the anger and condescension? How does it effect you?

Anonymous said...

The woman who processes my expense reports once told me that I TIP TOO MUCH, and it was outside company policy.

I was like "uh, well, the service was really good..."

So, I don't think you're the only one who goes over things with a fine tooth comb.

Chris H said...

Just found your blog, you are a scream! Have fun checking out who's eating what, sound like fun to me!

K said...

Oh, I think you can notice and be interested in what other people are choosing without calling it "obsessing". Where's the harm? She has to look anyway to make up the claims.

Of course you can tell from this that I would totally be interested too.

And yes, skinny people take advantage of free food opportunities to treat themselves, too. In fact, I've noticed they're often less inhibited than fatter people, because they don't think "Everyone will see me eating this and it'll be embarrassing." Honest. People-watch the next time you're at a corporate buffet and you'll see...

GoBetty said...

I go to Chi for work. I eat a hot dog and a coke everytime in the AIRPORT no matter what time of day / night. I love them and never eat them at home. Ditto the coke. Not even diet coke. Also, I have saved up the per diem for crazy dinners at Gibson's, or completely liquid dinners in the hotel bar with friends. Screw breakfast and lunch

Anonymous said...

Stick a fork in this blog.

Lynn said...

I've never looked at other people's receipts, but I love it when books include that type of seemingly unimportant information about their characters. Often these small details tell a lot about the people involved.

Anonymous said...

it sounds like you’ve had enough frustration with diets and counting calories like most people starting or getting back to dieting. I work for a Public Relations company and we just got this new product in, tried a few samples and everyone in the office is raving about it. I wanted to share our successes with you. The product is called FBCx. It stands for Fat Binding Complexer and is pronounced F-bex. It’s an all-natural dietary fiber that is able to bind dietary fat. You take it with your 3 regular meals having 20 grams of fat or more, so if you’re on a low calorie diet it won’t work well for you, so get back to eating what you want! If you want to learn more or try it out for yourself, go to www.fbcx.com, there is all the information you need to know about it and if not, ask one of the doctors who created it themselves!

Anonymous said...

I've just discovered this blog and i must say, i'm cracking up. LOVE IT!

cis829 said...

I realize you wrote this like 2 months ago, but I had to respond. I think you girls would be my new best friends. I'm also a fatty (well, the scale and my clothes size say I'm a fatty, but I really don't think I look that bad), and a short fatty (5'even) at that. I like to eat. On top of that, I have mild OCD and I also LOVE LISTS and EXPENSE REPORTS! I got promoted a while back, so now I don't get to do them for my boss anymore. It makes me sad.

Francesca said...

Hmm... that may be a little crazy, but I would also enjoy everyone's receipts, too. However, I never make promises on my sanity!

Just been browsing your blog tonight, mighty interesting!