I Lost It!

As many if you know, I will watch and/or read just about anything relating to fat people. And I just found a new show thanks to the amazing invention known as tivo!

Monday through Friday my tivo records for me a show called "I Lost It!". It's on the Discovery Health Channel and it's basic format consists of chronicling the stories of two people who have had weight related issues and the different ways they dealt with their issues and their weight. It's pretty sappy and there is a makeover portion where they get new clothes for their new bodies (in my opinion the new clothes are often really ugly), but I can deal with a little bit of cheesiness.

I discovered this show late last week so I have only seen a few episodes so far, but I am really enjoying the stories. I think a lot of fat people think that when and if they ever lose weight suddenly their lives will magically be better and all the obstacles in their way will suddenly disappear...and I know it's bullshit. But in many ways it's hard not to hold onto that hope because even though I know my life would definitely not be perfect if I lost weight, it's hard to imagine that many aspects of my life wouldn't be easier. I don't imagine that I would have a perfect life if I were thin, but I still cling to the hope that it would be better then it is right now.

And the show "I Lost It!" seems to glorify weight loss in a way that both resonates with me and pisses me off. During the half hour you hear the story and see the pictures of a sad fat person, listen to how and why they changed their eating/exercise habits, watch a lame makeover, and see how their life changed from when they were fat. It's both hopeful and depressing.

Has anyone ever seen the show? What part of your life do you think would be better if you lost weight? What part of your life do you think it would have no effect on?

The World's Fattest Twins

Emily and I recently got manicures together. It was uneventful except that I managed to ruin 7 out of 10 nails over the next few hours...(they just wouldn't dry!). We had the last appointments of the day and we pretty much closed the place down. As I was attempting to dry my nails by the little fan before we were rushed out of the door, the ladies who worked in the salon started chatting us up. And they asked us a question we get all the time: "Are you sisters?" or "Are you twins?".

I can't tell you how often in the course of our friendship we have been asked that. And the reality is that Emily and I look nothing alike! The only things we have in common is we are both 5'7ish and we are both fat. Yep, that's it.

I just find it really annoying that the only thing people seem to see in us is our fat bodies. It's almost like we lose all other form of physical identities, and all that is left is that fat. Because there is no other reason to assume that we are sisters let alone twins.

Has anyone else had a similar experience? If you are fat and you have fat friends, do you feel like your combined fatness takes over so that is all anyone can see?

How She Got Thin!!!!

We don't usually post things like this, but something said, Emily, say what's on your mind...and I will. How Brit Got Thin?? How she lost 26lbs in one month??? Um...well...huh...let me take a wild guess here...SHE HAD A FRIGGIN' BABY!

My new diet will consist of me getting pregnant, having that child, and then presto chango: I'll lose at least 20lbs that week. BRILLIANT US Magazine...BRILLIANT!

Oh, and don't you love the before picture of her pregnant...almost as if they are avoiding the fact that there was a human being living inside of her?

To Praise, Or Not To Praise

I've been on and off Weight Watchers ever since I was 15. It's usually about 1 month on, 3 months off, 1 month on, 3 months off. I can see how I've gained weight all these years. I'll gain 10 and lose it, gain 15 and then lose 10, etc. It's a cycle that I'm used to having done it so many times. And I like Weight Watchers, as I've mentioned here before. I think it's the only way I'll ever lose my weight...if I ever fully commit to it...which this week I am. My meeting leader was named Elaine and I really liked her. A no nonsense Jewish mother whose daughter actually attends her meetings. It's a dynamic I like and I thought she was great.

She actually started her meeting by saying that someone recently told her that she didn't praise weight loss enough. That other meeting leaders would spend the first 10 minutes giving stickers to those who had lost weight that week and could brag about it. I had a leader once that referred to it as bragging stickers. Because we're all still in kindergarten and need stickers to make us feel better.

Even when I lose weight I never raise my hand when asked "who lost weight?". It's embarrassing and I'm not the type of person who needs that sort of validation or a pat on the back. When Elaine told how she didn't believe on spending 10 minutes of a 30 minute meeting on praising those who lost weight, I felt like applauding. Another girl in the meeting spoke up and told Elaine that she liked that she (Elaine) didn't spend much of the meeting praising those who lost weight because it made her feel, if she didn't lose weight that week, that she was a failure. That she was there to learn and evolve and the scale should reflect if she should feel good about herself that week or not. Bravo to that girl.

So, there I sat, thanking Elaine for having the chutzpah to say that your weight loss for that week is just a number and not a reflection of your self worth. I thank you Elaine...thank you for making me want to come back, even if I gain 4 lbs that week because cheeseburgers are just that good.

Fat Cat(Walk)

A controversy that sprung up a couple of weeks ago in Spain caught the attention of both Lindsey and I. Seems as though anorexic looking models trying to make it in the fashion world (of Spain) have been banned from their catwalks. I was sort of shocked...you mean models can be too skinny? Isn't that their job? Aren't they walking hangers? What is too skinny in their eyes? Is it this:

I hope it is, because girl needs to eat a sandwich.

Anyway, and the real point of this post, is to commend Jean Paul Gaultier. I remember being a little kid and loving him because he made cone bras for Madonna and I also remember he had a really weird perfume bottle that I always thought was interesting. But, now, I have a whole new way of loving him and it's because of this:

Girl looks fierce! JPG sent this plus sized model (said to be a size 20...but I have my doubts) down the runway at Paris Fashion Week obviously in some sort of response to the recent controversies over banned skinny models. Awesome.

But, I'm still not sure what the purpose was of this. What was JPG trying to say? Was he saying "look how horrible fat models look and therefore shouldn't be a part of high fashion"? Or, was he sticking it to the man? I hope the latter.

I'm not saying that all models should be fat. Sometimes, I even have to admit that the couture clothes look better on a thin, healthy looking model. Thin, not scary skinny. But, this is a move in the right direction I think, and I applaud Jean Paul Gaultier. Hey, maybe my dream of pageants and catwalks isn't that far off.

First To Finish Is The First To Lose

I remember a time when I was around 8 years old and my friend Natally and I were sitting on the floor of my room playing with Barbies. I also remember each of us had a fruit roll-up that my mother had bought for snacks. We both opened them at the same and I devoured mine as I thought she did as well.

Natally was one of the most skinniest friends I've ever had. Pretty and skinny. She lived across the street from me and we were best friends. And as best friends, especially when you're very young, you compete. Jump rope, hopscotch, even playing Barbies becomes a competition. But, little did I know, eating was also a competition.

After I finished my fruit roll-up I saw Natally look at me, and then take what appeared to be the rest of her fruit roll-up from behind her and start eating it right in front of me. Now, this is as childish as children get. But, playing the "look what I have and you don't" game still goes on today now that we're adults.

I notice that when I'm with a friend eating I still find that I sometimes play the "look what I have and you don't" game. It's not healthy and I know this, but it still happens. I notice this mostly happens with my friend Melissa. Melissa usually comes over once a week to watch Laguna Beach with me because we might be in our mid-twenties, but there's that 16 year old girl deep down inside all of us. We'll go and pick up dinner and come home and watch. And I also notice that Melissa will eat half of her meal and stop eating. Then, like clockwork, as soon as I am done with my food, she'll pick up hers and continue her meal. And, sick as it may seem and even when I'm stuffed to the gills, I'm still jealous. It sucks when someone has something you want...I just can't believe it continues into adulthood, and with eating no less.