Tuesday, November 21, 2006

And We're Back

So, these past two weeks haven't been the best. Lindsey started a job that basically has her working 7 days a week from 8 to 8...good thing about that is her office is above a really good diner. Bad news is that my father, at a young age, passed away and I have been dealing with that. It was sudden and horrible and I'm still very looney from the whole thing, but people have been bringing over food by the tons, so that's nice. And that got me thinking about just how comforting food is and the traditions that are situated around food.

All holidays have food involved, unless you're a Jew like me and can't eat on yom kippur, but then it's all about breaking the fast, so I guess it's about food after all. Food plays such a vital role in life it's amazing and the comfort it brings during such sorrow times is something that I will never put down.

During the first few days following my father's passing I couldn't bring myself to eat. The few bites I would take sat heavy in my stomach. It just felt wrong to enjoy anything while my father, who enjoyed food with a passion, wasn't able any longer to enjoy it and to me, food lost all meaning. But, just as fast as my hunger disappeared, it came back with a vengeance and the amazing pastries and deli platters crept back into my life. It still feels wrong though.

My father was an amazing man who loved to cook, but most importantly, he loved to feed those around him. I don't know what I'm going to do without my father around...probably lose 50 or so pounds...eh, maybe not.

68 comments:

Anonymous said...

so, so sorry to hear about your dad.... i can't imagine how difficult that must be.
i know it probably doesn't make you feel any better, but i've missed your entries ;-)

A Heathier Me said...

I lost my grandfather last year right after Thanksgiving. I cannot imagine what you are going through after losing your Father. My prayers go out to you and your family. Take care of yourself and the ones that you love.

jessiferseabs said...

I am so sorry.

PLease don't hesitate to seek support wherever you feel comfortable... even though we're just a bunch of monikers behind the vast internet, we really care about you.

Rachel said...

I'm so sorry to hear about your dad. I'm definitely thinking of you and your family and wishing you all the best.

DietQueen said...

Sorry to hear about your dad. I will be praying for you and your family through this difficult time.

Anonymous said...

Sorry to hear about your dad... just letting you know that someone out there is thinking of you :)

emily pound said...

can't help but be repetitive here ... so sorry about your dad. My dad passed away when I was 19 and I remember that "floor fell out from under me" feeling very well.

((((((hug)))))) all the best to you and your family.

Jenn said...

I am so sorry for your loss. I hope that you and your family can comfort and support each other through this difficult time.
My prayers go out to you and your family.
Jenn

Calavera said...

I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. My prayers and thoughts go out to you and your family.

pudge said...

i'm so sorry to hear about your dad. i'm glad to hear that you have support from family and friends. your fans are thinking about you too.

Anonymous said...

Adding my voice to all the others: I am so, so sorry to hear about you losing your father and wish there was something I could do.

T. Comfyshoes said...

I'm sorry to hear about the loss of your father. It sounds like you had a wonderful relationship with many fond memories to keep forever.

Hugs,

t

E said...

Hey-
I know there's nothing anyone can say to make you heal. This won't help you heal, either, but I hope it will help you smile, and I'm sure your dad would prefer that, wherever he is.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?eurl=&v=eKUGltGwN3U

Your dad would never, ever, ever want you to stop being happy on his account.

Inverarity said...

My condolences.

littlem said...

So, so sorry. Condolences and prayers for your family.

cherree said...

I'm really sorry for your father.

Ducky said...

Please accept my heartfelt condolences on the loss of your father.

I lost my dad when I was 15. He was the cook in the family and it was very much like the heart was pulled out of family meals (and everything else) for a long time.

*hugs*

NicoleW said...

So sorry to hear about your father. I lost my dad suddenly when I was 18, and I remember the "looney" feeling all too well.

minka said...

I am also going to say I am sorry to hear about your dad. I lost my dad a while ago and i found it difficult. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
Minka

Anonymous said...

That sucks. I feel for you. Your dad was very lucky to have such a thoughtful, intelligent daughter.

Here's sending you thoughts of strength.

blueskies said...

I'm very sorry for your loss. You're in my thoughts and prayers.

Stephanie said...

I'm so very sorry that you have lost your father. I can't imagine what you and your family are going through! I'm sure he is watching over you all. You're in my thoughts!!!

Gina said...

I"m so sorry for your loss.

Stacia said...

I'm sorry to hear about your dad. I lost my dad 5 years ago when I was 28, and my mom last year, so I know how you feel. Even though I was in my late 20s I felt like it was way too soon.

Take care of yourself. It's easy to forget to take your vitamins and get outside sometimes when things get overwhelming.

Anne said...

I am so sorry for the loss of your father, especially around the holidays. My dad passed away when I was 18, and even though he and I weren't close, it's a terrible feeling to lose a parent, especially when it's sudden.

I also know how you feel about it feeling "wrong" to eat. From October of last year through April this year, my mom was in and out of the hopsital due to leukemia, and the terrible conditions that went along with it. I also stopped eating for quite awhile. It made me sick to eat while my mom was lying in a hospital bed, not able to keep down even jello.

To make a long post a little shorter, know that you are not alone in your grief, and that other people know what you are going through.

*hugs*

Dolley said...

{Hugs} I'm so sorry. I lost my Dad, too. Give yourself and your family time; you will probably feel off-balance much longer than you think you "should."

It sounds as if you were very fortunate in your father; he was certainly fortunate in his daughter. Take care.

Anonymous said...

also being repetitive here... im so sorry you lost your father, i know how hard it is to lose a parent, i lost my mom when i was 14 and i remember sitting at the table that night not wanting to eat my lunch I had packed for school tha t day. just remember your dad had a passion for food, just like my mother and im sure he would want you to eat and take care of yourself.

Anonymous said...

Don't listen to these people telling you to keep on eating now (as in: don't turn to food for comfor now!)
Maybe this is the right occasion to re-evaluate your lifestyle, so that something positive can come out of this loss.
I remember that when the father of a bulimic friend of mine died, she stopped her binging/throwing up pattern and instead started taking better care of her health. Sometimes the death of a loved one puts things into perspective. You've been taking your health for granted in the past. Maybe you can change your attitude now.

alice said...

Emily - I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. I hope that you're able to be with your family, and that you're getting support from every place you can. We lost my MIL this year, and I want to echo what Dolley said above - to the extent that it's possible, give yourself time, and more time.

Something like this is so, so hard - know that you're in my thoughts.

Anonymous said...

I am so very sorry to hear about your father. I may not agree with everything you post, but losing a parent is a horrible thing. My thoughts with you and your family.

Dana

Anonymous said...

So sorry, Emily. Sending all my good thoughts your way.

Anonymous said...

sorry to hear about your father... i know it will be tough around the holidays but try and remember all the good times you shared... i'm sure he'd would want it that way... :o)

Jules said...

Also so sorry to hear about your father. My condolences as well. Your post reminded me of a short story I read that made me sob. It's about a man who dies and gets to go back to his life for one day. It starts with him choosing a moment in his favourite deli ordering knishes. It's beautifully written.

Monika said...

I am so sorry Emily. I'll be trying to send good karma your way

GoBetty said...

My condolences... hang in there.

Anonymous said...

I lost my dad when I was 23. It was 5 months before I could laugh - really laugh and enjoy it, not simply a forced I'm-laughing-because-I-ought-to moment. It was so hard. My thoughts are with you.

Lisa in So Cal said...

Emily, just another reader here, but I wanted to send my condolences to you and your family.

VTH said...

Just another regular reader. I'm so sorry to hear about your dad. Nothing I can say can make it easier but know that I'm thinking of you and your family.

Kate said...

Hang in there. You have a lot of people you've never even met who love you. The sense of loss never goes away, but it does, eventually, become less immediate and pervasive.

My mother died six years ago and my father died last December. In both cases, it was months before I could eat more than a couple of bites at a time, and even longer to enjoy food again.

It took me almost two years after her death before I could talk about my mother without crying. I still think about things that I would like to be able to share with them and feel an almost-overwhelming sense of loss.

You have my heartfelt sympathy.

Anonymous said...

I am sorry to hear about the loss of your father. Pay attention to signs that he is still with you. Love never dies.

My mother and I have problems with overeating, and her first reaction to something good or bad is FOOD. So when she tries to treat my daughters for good grades or good conferences with "twinkies" or sweets I know she means well, even though it is sending a bad message. I am trying to change the cycle and give them healthier rewards...

K said...

So sorry to hear about this.

Nothing we can say would be enough, but I know we'll all be thinking about you.

buffpuff said...

My condolences too, Emily. I was 24 when I lost my dad and he was only 55. I had some video footage of him playing charades on my birthday just a handful of months before he died, and I thought I'd never ever be able to watch it. But one day, a couple of years down the line, I finally felt the need - and, much to my surprise, I didn't cry. Instead it comforted and made me smile. Hold on to the good stuff. It won't always be today.

Wishing you love and healing thoughts.

Anonymous said...

I'm really sorry for your loss. Hang in there.

Anonymous said...

Don't listen to these people telling you to keep on eating now (as in: don't turn to food for comfor now!)
Maybe this is the right occasion to re-evaluate your lifestyle, so that something positive can come out of this loss... Sometimes the death of a loved one puts things into perspective. You've been taking your health for granted in the past. Maybe you can change your attitude now.


Thanks for putting my thoughts so eloquently, anonymous. Emily, you indicated in your post that your father died from weight-related causes. Perhaps this is a good time to reevaluate where you're heading.

Anonymous said...

Emily, you indicated in your post that your father died from weight-related causes

Um, where?

mimi&gina said...

We still miss our papa. Words are too clumsy.

Love

Mimi and Gina xx

anon @ 12.43 said...

Emily, you indicated in your post that your father died from weight-related causes

Um, where?


Forgive me if I'm wrong, but these words:

My father was an amazing man who loved to cook, but most importantly, he loved to feed those around him.

imply that Emily's father had a weight problem. People who "love to cook, and feed those around them" usually do.

And Emily's words:

I don't know what I'm going to do without my father around...,probably lose 50 or so pounds

imply (to me) that Emily acknowledges that her father's death was weight-related and that should serve as an incentive for her to lose weight.

Again, I could be wrong, but that's the way i read it.

Anonymous said...

I am sorry for your loss. Use what you need for comfort until you can face the world.

Anonymous said...

Yes, anonymous@3.34, you could be wrong but, even if you are not, using a condolence thread as a vehicle to advocate any kind of lifestyle change to the recently bereaved is insensitive and in exceptionally poor taste.

Kim & Lyn said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
princesskim-net said...

Em,

I read your blog every chance I get because I think you are a gifted writer and an extremely funny woman. Please remember that some of your talent and beauty came from your father and you will carry that with you forever. He must have been something wonderful to have made such a smart and sassy woman like you.

Take the time you need to grieve your loss. Eat when you need to eat, sleep when you are tired, cry when it hits you; don't deny yourself the process. It will only help you to heal.

With Love and Respect,

K

rakshasa said...

My condolences. For what it's worth, don't worry about eating or not eating right now - your body already knows what to do. The whole concept of "closure" was invented by westerners who can't function without a deadline and a Gantt chart. Integrate the sorrow into yourself, don't think of it as a problem that will last x months and y days before you find the solution, but rather as a new part of your personality that doesn't quite fit into place yet..

Kinky_Kitty said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...

MOURNER'S KADDISH
An English Translation

Glorified and sanctified be God's great name throughout the world which He has created according to His will. May He establish His kingdom in your lifetime and during your days, and within the life of the entire House of Israel, speedily and soon; and say, Amen.

May His great name be blessed forever and to all eternity.

Blessed and praised, glorified and exalted, extolled and honored, adored and lauded be the name of the Holy One, blessed be He, beyond all the blessings and hymns, praises and consolations that are ever spoken in the world; and say, Amen.

May there be abundant peace from heaven, and life, for us
and for all Israel; and say, Amen.

He who creates peace in His celestial heights, may He create peace for us and for all Israel; and say, Amen.

cherree said...

anon@7:14 p.m.: shut the fuck up!

fatty mcgee said...

We don't usually respond to comments left on this blog, but I just wanted to let anyone know who rudely assumed that my father's untimely death was due to weight that they are not only horrible assumption makers, but ARE ASSHOLES WHO I WOULD RATHER NOT READ THIS BLOG.

SHAME ON YOU!

shygirl said...

I'm so sorry for your loss. You were missed here.

Anonymous said...

My heartfelt condolences to you and your loved ones. Ignore the jerks who assume awful things and rudely voice their moronic assumptions, focus on the ones in your real life and in cyberspace who support you.

fatfairy said...

Does Cherree have a problem with prayer-or Jewish prayer?

Dolley said...

Surely not. Emily's Jewish, what prayer would be more appropriate for her father than for those who care for her to say Kaddish for him?

fatfairy said...

Cherree said "Shut the fuck up", appearently to the person who posted the kaddish. If that was her intention and I didn't misread her post( I hope I did) it would seem that she does.

bloomie said...

“Hamakom yinachem etchem b’toch sh’ar aveilei Tzion v’yerushalayim”

tara said...

Ok someone tell me, what in the world is the problem with saying a Kaddish for someone who practices the faith???!!!

Emily, my condolences. Forget eating or not eating, just do what you need to do to begin healing. I haven't exactly healed after watching my mother take her last breath a few years ago, but it does get easier to live with eventually.

peace,
Tara

cherree said...

I don't have a problem with Jewish prayer, I have a problem with unrequested prayer.

fatfairy said...

Why are you so offended by a prayer in this context?

Kimberly said...

I am so sorry about your father. I lost mine five years ago similarly to what you describe and it tugs at me still every day.

I hope you can find some peace.

Anonymous said...

I'm very sorry to hear about your dad.

Anonymous said...

I'm so sorry about your dad. I know how it feels when it happens so fast. I was talking with my dad at 10:00p.m.
and he was dead at 1:00 a.m. It's so
difficult to take it all in or to believe the best person in your life is not there anymore. Let yourself grieve and it does get better.

Sincerely,
Bev