Monday, December 11, 2006

The Double (X) Standard

Most days, work days that is, I gather enough energy to put myself together and look nice and presentable. On the weekends, I'm lucky to get my bra on. I just don't like having to look nice on the weekends. It's the weekend for heaven's sake, let me relax.

I guess the thing that bothers me most about being fat is the double standards. This is in no way saying I don't like skinny girls (and we, here at Fatty Mcblog, definitely don't think that every girl who is skinny has an eating disorder...that's just dumb logic), or that skinny girls have perfect lives...but skinny girls can do one thing us fatties can't and it's really the only thing that bothers me...they can dress like hobos and it's chic. I dress like a hobo and well, I'm just a fat hobo.

Mary-Kate and Ashley drape themselves in fabric and it's boho chic. Girls in Beverly Hills wear very loose sweatpants and t-shirts with holes in them and go eat at the Ivy. I wear sweatpants and a shirt with holes in it and I'm just a fatty who is dirty and uncouth.

It's just not fair. I just wanted to say that. I'm done now.

60 comments:

JM said...

Also, skinny girls can wear men's clothes and look girly and adorable. Not fair.

Anonymous said...

Don't forget the prairie look... the flowy skirts..

I look like I'm wearing a tent..

pudge said...

no kidding..they can wear a garbage bag and it looks like a chic new dress or some bullcrap.
lol!

Anonymous said...

No SHIT!

I wear men's clothes and get called a bull daggar.

Ashley or Mary Kate or Lindsay or any of those fools start a fashion trend.

I do it and get called a fat old dyke!

Anonymous said...

Skinny girls haven't got cleavage in good dresses, unless its pneumatically enhanced and fairly vile! And also, I think I might be the only person in the world that finds collarbones a bit freaky. I'm by no means thin and I've got them, whereas my skinny friends don't and I think it looks nicer- who wants bones jutting out of your neck? It's just freaky.

But yeah, they do get to look like classy hobos. Bitches.

Haystacks said...

I agree, you need to put effort into putting yourself together when you are fat to look presentable. When you are skinny you can just go out in anything and it's fine.

Makes No Sense. But it is true.

Anonymous said...

We, here at Fatty Mcblog, definitely don't think that every girl who is skinny has an eating disorder...that's just dumb logic

Obviously some people here didn't get the memo.

keryn@chickfit said...

I completely agree! It annoys me to no end that skinny girls look chic in their turtlenecks and baggy pants. When I wear that stuff I look like a cow.

BUT...I have to admit...I have curves where skinny girls have none. And there is something to be said for "Baby Got Back!"

Anonymous said...

True that. It's unfair.

But -- you know why that is, right? Because poor people are fatter in this country, and slenderness is the ultimate status symbol. So skinny girl can dress sloppy, cause her body weight screams, "I'm rich and high class."

Anonymous said...

YOU ARE SO RIGHT. I am tired of the double-fucking standards they have for fat girls.

Sheila said...

Eh, Mary-Kate and Ashley look like weird, skinny hobos. They won't get judged the same way, you're absolutely right, but they don't look chic... they just have the advantage of people judging them only on the stupidness of their outfits, and not on what outfit+weight must mean about their general slovenliness.

Anonymous said...

"Skinny girls haven't got cleavage"

What do you mean by "skinny," and what do you mean by "cleavage"?

Thin, normal weight women have a variety of breast sizes. As a guy, I can tell you that it's not the sheer cubic inches of breast, but rather the contrast between the waist and bust that is important.

Also, hanging water-balloon udder breasts of fat women only appeal to fetishists who like fat women, or to hoggers as a novelty.

One thing I do when I see a fat women with breasts is to mentally downsize the breasts to what I figure they'd be if she weren't fat. Once you proportionally take away fat from the bust and waist, you often end up with a washboard.

Anonymous said...

Great post. I have to agree, I won't leave the house in sweatpants, but my cute little size-six teenage daughter gets away with wearing sweatpants to church! (OK, not that she had MY permission, but anyway...)...

Great blog! I'll be back!

Loulou said...

but why would a hobo be overweight ? if someone was homeless they would not have enough money to supply themselves with sufficent food and definetly not excessive food. im so confused right now .... i don't understand how anyone could ever mistake a fat person for being homeless........

Anonymous said...

One thing I do when I see a fat women with breasts is to mentally downsize the breasts to what I figure they'd be if she weren't fat

Wheas most other people have something called a "life". Perhaps you should look into the possibility of getting one?

Anonymous said...

Don't hate, lose weight and you too can dress like a "hobo" and look good. As a matter of fact, you can look as good as all the other girls you're so obviously envious of - just eat less.

Meghan said...

Anon,

Having big "udder"-like breasts doesn't necessarily mean you're fat, and it certainly doesn't mean no one but a fetishist is attracted to them. Also, people store fat in different ways so there's no way to mentally deduce how flat a woman would be without her excess fat.

Just sayin'.

-- Meghan

buffpuff said...

Actually I think it's only young, very beautiful and generally quite affluent, skinny women who can throw on any old rag and look charming. The rest of us generally have to work at workin' it whatever size, shape or age we are. Plus there's a difference between a Brora pure cashmere heirloom sweater gone a little threadbare around the elbows and some manky, mass produced, out-of-shape garment that's falling apart at the seams.

I don't personally think the boho look only looks good on slender women, nor do I think it automatically looks good on all slender women. It's simply a matter of personal style, regardless again, of size.

Anonymous said...

What Buffpuff said.

I am what I guess you'd call normal-sized (size 8), and I assure you that I look like a total schlep if I don't put some effort into what I'm wearing. I think Buffpuff's exactly right that designer, faux-shabby clothes look a lot different from my actually-shabby, too-short sweatpants and an oversized sweater handed down from my dad.

I also feel the same way about hair. I have extremely curly hair that, without the benefit of many styling products, looks like I just stuck my finger in an electric socket. I see models in magazines with their hair styled to be all big and frizzy, and somehow it looks cool on them, but if I forego the hair products and let my hair do its thing I look ridiculous.

bloomie said...

I agree...kind of.

I find it easier for skinny girls to wear their sweats out shopping and look cute and what have you. And I think they can buy cheaper clothes and look nicer in them than I can.

But...I can do the same at a size 14/16, it's just a matter of having nice sweats and nice sneakers,etc... I met a friend for brunch last weekend in a comfy, sweats outfit and she couldn't stop saying how cute I looked. If you're a fattie with nice casual, comfy, clothers it's totally do-able. Sweats with cuffed ankles and t-shirts to your knees isn't going to be attractive on anyone - nicole richie or me. But if you have a wide-legged sweats, and a waist length t-shirt - everyone can be cute and comfy!

And, what I find with anything is, it's really a matter of how you carry yourself.

Thora said...

When I look at the girls you mentioned, I don't see them as being fashion-forward, I see them as "too high to comprehend what I'm putting on."

Why anyone sober person would want to dress like someone in the middle of a coke binge is beyond me. You can be comfortable without being sloppy about it. The two things aren't mutually exclusive.

gina said...

I don't honestly think many celebs really get away with the waif/boyfriend look; fashion editors just have certain style icons they are committed to supporting. If I were larger I would definitely go with gothic or vampy or slutty style - if you're not the standard fashionista shape you might as well have fun!

Off-topic, but I need to share this: I was watching a US comedy I love, Frasier, and there was an episode where his ex-wife turns up in a very low-cut dress. She is a lovely woman but extremely skinny, and instead of cleavage there was just bone. Every one of the three men in the room with me (co-worker, boyfriend and neighbour)went "Eeeewww!!!". It's a myth that you can't be too thin.

shara said...

Don't hate, lose weight and you too can dress like a "hobo" and look good. As a matter of fact, you can look as good as all the other girls you're so obviously envious of - just eat less.

What she said.

Anonymous said...

Sorry, I enjoy having boobs instead of a visible sternum too much.

Anonymous said...

You don't have to be overweight to have boobs. I know plenty of woman who aren't fat that still have boobs and they are actually the ones that they were born with. Eat healthy and exercise - it's amazing how that works.

Anonymous said...

Thora...LOL!!!

Not to open the whole "too skinny and why is it OK to say GROSS at a skinny person" can of worms, but as long as we're talking personal aesthetics...

Whenever I'd see "Will and Grace" and Debra Messing appeared in a dress obviously designed for cleavage, it just looked ridiculous. She looked SO much better after she had her baby.

Shara said...

Sorry, I enjoy having boobs instead of a visible sternum too much.

The skinny-bashing around here is getting very boring. Give it a rest.

buffpuff said...

Shara, given the name of the blog, I think you'll find the skinny-bashing is generally in direct response and proportion to the fat-bashing. If you find it boring, why not start your own, call it Skinny McBlog and wait for your very own trolls to show up?

littlem said...

Shara, I have visible ribs between the clavicle and the boobs and STILL get fat-bashed.

You bored? Get over it. Or go away. The skinny-bashing is reactive to the fat-bashing. Reactive behavior from people who are constantly harrassed is a normal human response. Tired of the so-called "skinny-bashing"? GIVE THE FAT-BASHING A REST.

Back to our regularly scheduled programming ...

Bloomie, will you come to NYC and be my stylist? The outfit you described sounds so cute (although I don't know what you would wear over the T-shirt when it's cold that wouldn't puff out and obliterate the waist) and I have a figure like an isoceles triangle with hacked-in cutouts at the mid-point for a waist.

littlem said...

Ahhhahahahah --

It would be the lightning-fast Buff who buzzes in first for the bonus round.

Happy Holidays, Buff!

Anonymous said...

i like the guy above who dementedly trolls FAT BLOGS and posts about udders and the unattractiveness of fat girls. I mean, YOU ARE POSTING ON A FAT GIRL BLOG. Why are you here? How did you even FIND this blog? What did you google? You're pathetic.

Stacia said...

The skinny-bashing around here is getting very boring.

Yeah, it's really cutting into your fat-bashing time, isn't it, bitch? And it's totally cutting into my calling-you-a-bitch time. I wish you'd all stop complaining about how society treats fat women poorly so I could call Shara a bitch more often. Seriously, you're just not thinking enough about my needs here.

Anonymous said...

How on earth was I 'skinny-bashing?' I was stating my opinion, just like Shara does when she tells us all to diet and exercise because we're big fat pigs and because we don't wear a size two, Jesus Christ we're not living up to her standards as we all really care about pleasing her. Yeah.

Gina said...

One also has to consider that "schlep" clothes are usually cut for those who don't need structure in their clothing -- i.e. skinny people. Velour, low-slung yoga pants, baby tees -- these are meant to be worn by someone who has nothing to hide and if she did, would have nowhere to hide it. It's easier to hang such things from hangers than it is flesh.
And as for the 'couth' bit -- fatness is automatically seen as a sign of lower class status, whether or not the person in question is a millionaire or not. Thus, we have to dress/act/etc. accordingly in order to be deemed 'acceptable', if ever.

Shara said...

Yeah, it's really cutting into your fat-bashing time, isn't it, bitch? And it's totally cutting into my calling-you-a-bitch time. I wish you'd all stop complaining about how society treats fat women poorly so I could call Shara a bitch more often. Seriously, you're just not thinking enough about my needs here.

Bwah-ha-ha! It's good to see some people here have a sense of humour!

And just the record, anonymous at 6.02, I never called anyone a "big fat pig" just because they "don't wear a size two". In fact, because I don't live in the States, I don't even know what a size 2 is.

Anonymous said...

Fat bashers, skinny bashers, and bashers who bash the opinions of others - just increase the peace. Please stop hatin' here and judging and telling people to get lives.

bloomie said...

littlem I live in NYC and would love to be your stylist! Dressing well (esp as a fattie) is a great joy of mine! I'm obsessed with the LJ site Fatshionista - have you visited? You must stop by!

In regards to your question, when it's cold, over a t-shirt you just wear a fitted hoodie that doesn't go to mid-thigh. I'm way smaller up-top than in my bottom so I'm able to fit into a women's American Apparel xl hoodie which are nice and fitted and thin so they don't give you extra bulk. But an Old Navy or Gap one for women that cuts you in at the waist works as well. Fun colors and patterns are a plus! Wear a jean jacket or something over it and you're good to go!

Anonymous said...

Gina said:

>>One also has to consider that "schlep" clothes are usually
>>cut for those who don't need structure in their clothing --
>>i.e. skinny people. Velour, low-slung yoga pants, baby tees
>>-- these are meant to be worn by someone who has nothing to
>>hide and if she did, would have nowhere to hide it.

This is an example of what a lot of people have been saying, bemoaning a 'double standard'. Seems to me as if many of the women who've posted here buy into the double standard just as much as the public in general!

Jill said...

I think this is not a thin versus fat thing.
To look good in the clothes described you have to be young *and* thin *and* pretty *and* have to have a certain way of carrying yourself.
I have seen plenty of young, thin girls who dressed sloppily and did not look good.
If you look at the world trying to find unfairness, you don't have to look far.
(Men of most sizes look good in well-cut suits.
There is no similar garnment for women that has the same effect. Unfair!)

And I have read several magazines where the Olsen twin's look was described as hobo sans chic.

Anonymous said...

Size 8 is not "normal size" if you're talking American. I believe the average size of an American woman is size 12.

Anonymous said...

I just Love this site. I want to join, so I don't have to sign in as anonymous, but not sure how to.

littlem said...

"(Men of most sizes look good in well-cut suits.
There is no similar garnment for women that has the same effect. Unfair!)"

Jill, it's worse than that. They have free tailoring at Men's Warehouse (or Wearhouse or whatever cutesy way they spell it) and, I think, at Paul Stewart.

Bloomie, you are fabulous. (I should have known -- "Bloomie"'s, as in the world-famous one @ E 59th street.) The only AA store I know is on the LES. If you are close to that, should we meet at Moby's place for tea or Katz' for lunch, maybe next Friday (12/21) and really talk about this seriously?

Oh, right - I do know fatshionista, but you all stylish women intimidate me. I'm the type who found it because I was doing research and the site came up b/c Junonia was hiring. I am much nerdier (with some flash - I liked the McGee girls' black suit with the red stripes for the cruise; not your halter or cherries) than you all. Think "sportive" Ugly Betty, without braces or poncho.

(Now please don't groan. You know us "transformed" nerd girls give great referral.)

shara said...

Men of most sizes look good in well-cut suits. There is no similar garnment for women that has the same effect.

Huh? Well-cut suits are very flattering on women too.

K said...

Well, I can't wear suits (maybe they're not well-cut enough!) but wrap dresses seem to be flattering on most people.

shara said...

Well, I can't wear suits (maybe they're not well-cut enough!) but wrap dresses seem to be flattering on most people.

Yeah, wrap dresses are good - with maybe a strategically placed brooch so the top doesn't gape open. ;-)

Puncher of Donkeys said...

I'm not sure what "boho" chic is, but I call BS...at least for me, I think the the Olsen twins look just as retarded as say, a pre-op Carnie Wilson would in trash bags and banana peels.

You're thinking about this stuff too much; unless I'm in the minority (completely plausible),I think anyone wearing either stinky, holey, or wrinkly clothes is deserving of a punch to the crotch.


Jessica Biel (and myself of course) can wear whatever we want though; we're just that sexy...

buffpuff said...

Littlem, have a great Christmas/Chanuka/Winterval/Winter Solstice/whatever, yourself! But don't go putting any rhubarb in my Christmas stocking, y'hear? You know, aside from the poncho, I think Ugly Betty's a bit of an alternative style icon, m'self...

K said...

Yeah, I know what you mean, Shara - I've altered a couple so they don't do that!

Anonymous said...

Anon 12:53-- Size 8 here. All I was trying to say was that I didn't think this was a thin/fat issue because I am relatively slim but look crappy in a sweatsuit. I used "normal sized" to mean that I was neither thin nor fat, not necessarily that I was the "average" size. Many discussions on this board seem to end up being about thin vs. fat, but in reality there are a lot of people who are neither.

Anonymous said...

Dear Fatty McBlog Girls, I am someone who persistantly asks you to please audition for The Biggest Loser. I just re-read the site specification and application form. I think BOTH of you should audition, as fatty best friends. I think the casting people would LOVE that. I think they would also LOVE this site as an example of your brains, wit and talent. The site also emphasizes the nature of your lifelong battle / acceptance / battle / acceptance of your obesity and your habits of over-eating. Stressing over clothes. Dreading the fact that you have to fly. Bemoaning having to wear a bathing suit. Being judged on Craigslist. Or that someone said something to you that implied comeraderie in "us fatties". I love the show and I love you girls too. I would love to see you get it together on TV and have the chance to win the money, and more importantly, to win back the bods you deserve and deep down, which you want.

No, I don't work for the network or the production company. I just love TV and love Fatty McBlog and would love to see what the heck you two look like. I know you would capture everyone's hearts on the show, just as you've captured them here.

Anonymous said...

Shara & K:

A nice camisole works well under a wrap dress too. Very complimentary to many shapes.

bloomie said...

littlem, my name is actually in reference to my last name, not the store. I find department stores overwhelming and exhausting almost every time I enter one. Although then I can go around the corner to Serendipity for a pick me up!

I'd love to meet up! But I have a crazy, hectic job and can't run up to the LES for lunch. How about an after-work tea? The 21st is a Thursday and 22 a Friday, which were you aiming for? I have a one-off movie showing I want to go to on Thursday so does Friday for tea work?

Anonymous said...

Not that this'll comfort anyone, but Men's Wearhouse does charge--not exorbitantly, but plenty enough--to tailor men's clothes, "the first time" (like there are going to be multiple tailorings on any given piece?) There's no denying that dressing gets easier when your income grows as well as when your waistline shrinks, alas.

--Cat

anonanon said...

J. Crew has free tailoring.

littlem said...

Bloomie -- Friday for tea @ teany; we will make it work.

I will wear a red sweater with a(n almost) matching headband and my currently favorite denim pants that most people who love me hate. (I would hate to wear an outfit I think is stylish and have you go "ew"; the sweater is cashmere but I'm short-waisted so when I wear it or my black one just like it between clavicle and hipline I resemble a cinder block.)

Gosh I'm nervous. Shall we aim for 5:30?

bloomie said...

littlem.

Can we make it 6:30 instead? I "finish" work at 5:30, but have yet to leave before 6.

Also, there's a major illness in my family currently, so there may have to be a last minute cancellation if things take a turn for the worse. Should I jus t post here if that's the case.

As for what I look like. Well, I'm 5'4, glasses, curly highlighed hair, size 14/16. I won't know what I'm wearing until the morning of. It all depends on weather, mood, how much my feet hurt from the previous days shoes...

littlem said...

Oooo, Bloomie.

I just came out of major illness in the family. Let's do this. I've been "studying" my catalogues & magazines in preparation to meet you. So I'll just take more notes so I'm fully prepared (it's not like Clint & Stacy from WNTW are going to come hand us a Visa card so I'll have a whole new look for New Years) -- and of course since we both read the blog, YOU post here whenever your family members are out of the woods.

Doesn't matter if it's not until next year. Family members must get better first.

Anything else I can do? I actually have lots of friends who are good doctors (ranging from pulmonary to orthopedic specialists) if you need any sort of referral.

K. Lianne said...

oh my god...I was just thinking about that today. Currently I'm wearing a pair of track pants with a hoodie and my hair pulled back...and I look like a fat slob. Any skinny girl wearing this would look athletic. But not me. Keep up the good work. You girls are fantastic.

K. Lianne

bloomie said...

littlem thanks for the offer, but my mom's husband is in ICU at Sloan so he's already being treated by some of the foremost experts in the world at one of the world's top hospitals, so it's really just waiting and hoping he can fight this infection.

I realize Friday must be out due to having to hang with my Mom in the waiting room. We'll just have to hit post-xmas sales instead!

So I can think ahead, what's your age, size, height, profession, budget and look that you're going for so I can think of things you might like. Like are we trying to be well dressed business woman or a hip bruncher?

Anonymous said...

i'm not sure if you know this, but if you're fat, there is just no way for you to look presentable. why would you make a fool out of yourself by trying? well, i guess you can't help it. you're fat.