Monday, October 10, 2005

FAT P.W.T

I used to drive a very old car. It was my baby and I loved it. It took very good care of me. And, one night, it even broke down between my house and a AAA truck so I wouldn't have to worry about getting home. How sweet is that? But, what I didn't know was that even my car had a secret. I thought we shared everything, but I was wrong because when the AAA man opened my hood, I finally learned the truth about my car:

It had an eating disorder.

My car had been eating packages of dried Campbell's soup. Chicken noodle and tomato and had been drinking powered iced tea to wash it down.

I know what you're thinking. My car doesn't eat anything but gas and that I'm crazy, but it's true...well, the part about the AAA man finding packets of dried soup and iced tea is true. And maybe I left out the part where the AAA man questioned me about said packets of dried food because he thought I had put them there hoping the engine would cook them and I could chow down???? My theory happens to be rats in my car dragging the soup into my warm engine so they could feast amongst warmth and class.

But, the AAA man wouldn't let up on his theory about me being a little piggy. A poor, white trash piggy who couldn't wait to go upstairs to eat so I had to cook dehydrated soup on my cars engine.

Alas, the car died and I got a new one, but this car doesn't have an eating disorder.

7 comments:

hopefulloser said...

I love that story! I love the idea of rats finding comfort and home in your car.

I had an old VW bug and the windows wouldn't roll up. Every morning when I came out to my car the seat would be reclined and all my diet coke cans would be cleared out. I started putting all of my recyclables in the car at the end of each day. I liked thinking that I was giving someone a place to sleep and a little bit of an income.

mainja said...

beautiful!

Michelle said...

Wow hopefulloser! You're a kind and generous soul.

kittyrex said...

You're the kind of person the kind of person I am would like to be.

hopefulloser said...

Hey thanks! :-)

Regina said...

Just wanted to let you know that this thin person still stuffs her face to deal with anger and disappointment. Today my blog entry ends with "And now I'm going to go eat a cake, probably an entire one."

tmj said...

I'd like to find that AAA guy and give him a kick in the...I hate it when people automatically assume you are a hog for food just because you aren't a size 0.