Saturday, April 08, 2006

Can you blow me where the Pampers is???

This probably isn't the right forum for this sadly pathetic plea, but Jeremy Piven, if you have even a passing interest in fat Jewish chicks, we should get married (I mean hang out). No, I mean married. But for you Jeremy, I'll break my own rule and have sex with ya just because I want to. Have you ever had sex with a fat girl? No? You are totally missing out! I'll gladly show you the wonders of fat sex. And I bet you are sort of freaky in the sack, and honestly, I could really be into that right about now because I am bleeding and horny and writing to you on my little blog which you will never read. Sad.

I am watching The Travel Channel's Jeremy Piven's Journey of a Lifetime, and I have fallen in love with him all over again. I mean, he is always the highlight of any movie or tv show he is in, but watching him sort of stumble through the streets of Bombay has given me a greater appreciation for the wonder that is J.Piv.

Sorry folks, just had to get that out...the next posting will be about what a fat ass I am. Promise.

21 comments:

Land said...

"Can you blow me where the Pampers is?" is the best line in PCU! Jeremy is hella funny. Good luck getting him ladies!

Anonymous said...

I can't believe you told us that you are bleeding. Gross.

land said...

To anonymous above. Women bleed. Get used to it.

Anonymous said...

I'll agree with you that Jeremy Piven is kind of hot if you keep your promise and write about fat things in your next post. Deal?

Anonymous said...

If you do bang JP, let us know what the deal is with his hair. When he was on Larry Sanders like 10 years ago, he looked like he was going bald and he seems like he miraculously reversed the process. Seriously, I want to do whatever he did.

Anonymous said...

Just found you guys while browsing. Hilarious & truthful, love your blog.
& J.Piven is so-o adorable!
(former fat girl from TX)

Eve said...

And he dates a fat girl in the play Fat Pig.

http://www.broadway.com/gen/Buzz_Story.aspx?ci=503897

greenlacewing said...

Who is this guy?

littlem said...

Jeremy is sssssssmoking hot (regardless of admirer ethnicity). I thought it was really brave of him to do the male lead in "Fat Pig" and I'm REALLY MAD that I missed the first run.

But in terms of his active participation in various fantasy erotica, wouldn't we have to consult with his wife?

ivehadafew said...

I don't know who that dude is but I'm so feeling that picture.

Jackie said...

This post is totally hilarious!

Esther said...

I've never heard of him but he is kinda cute. Then again, I've always had a thing for freaky guys. ; )
^_^
Esther

Anonymous said...

Not to burst your bubble or anything, but I have a close friend who went on a date with JP a couple of years ago and apparently he's a jerk!

Anonymous said...

Check out the trailer for his new movie:
http://www.apple.com/trailers/miramax/keepingupwiththesteins/

Piven in a yarmulke....sigh....

Jan said...

I think he is funny but I don't like him *that way*. He's all yours.

KleoPatra said...

I've never heard of this guy. He's cute though, from the photo you have here...

I'm new to this blog. I like it (for what it's worth).

Happy early Pesach...

Anonymous said...

For what it's worth???? It keeps me from going insane at work--I'd say just due to that it's worth a lot.

Anonymous said...

You DO see the irony in posting this, just after you posted about how you hate it when men judge on looks, right?

I'm Shy said...

I don't really see the irony. The Piven is sexy as hell, but he doesn't have movie star/supermodel looks. Part of what makes him attractive is his talent and comedic timing. Don't get me wrong, I find him fecking adorable, but I don't think the post was really focusing on his looks, just that she wanted to boink him. Frankly, I can't blame her one bit.

I love The Piven.

Anonymous said...

I think his best Friend, John Cusack is HOT!

Six said...

Oh, yeah, Jeremy Piven is looking pretty damn good these days. He's definitely shaggable. I have this photo in my stash, too, by the way. One of my faves. ;D

I don't know what he did to his hair, but it looks good to me, so I don't care.