Saturday, July 15, 2006

Poor Princess Jasmine

Many of you know that I recently quit my job in order to take another one at a very prestigious institution. I used to work with 6 other men, ages ranging from early 30s to mid 50s. I got that job because I used to work for the president's wife while I was still in school. She was, to put it mildly, a raging bitch. I've read The Devil Wears Prada...I had stories that rivaled even those. So, when the program that we ran ended, she suggested that I go work for her husband, a spineless yet mostly harmless guy who arguably doesn't deserve to be married to such a psychotic bitch. I'm not being out of line when I say that...she's a self admitted psychotic bitch.

I worked for her husband for 3 years, but I needed more. The money was good and the atmosphere was great, but it didn't challenge me and there was little room to move up. So, I sent a resume to a job I thought I would never get, and actually was offered the position. Three weeks later I left and a new girl, Jasmine (but I like to call her Yasmine), was hired to take my place.

Yasmine was hired because she wanted to actually get into the business my old company does. She thought she could do my job while also learning the trade. She also thought she could wear see-through clothes and tight jeans that would expose her thong. "Everything but the nipples" is what I heard through the grape vine.

I still keep in touch with the boys at the old office, often emailing to see what the gossip is for that week. I also got to meet Yasmine when I went in to train her on one of my many, paid days that I don't have to work. She was nice, if not a little naive about her roll in the office. If anyone knows anything at that office it's this: My old boss may be the CEO and President of the company, but his wife, the PB (psychotic bitch), was the God of it. What she said, went. What she wants, goes. Did I also mention that she thinks her husband is forever going to have an affair? (He never has).

Emails from me to my old co-workers would often joke about the fact that when the PB, who had never met Yasmine, found out what she wore to the office, she would be fired in an instant. The office pool had a three hour termination time after she had met her. We were convinced that even if she just heard about this girl, sparks would fly. We knew she wouldn't last 3 weeks there...and she didn't.

Yesterday I got word that she was, indeed, let go at the request of the PB after many fights heard through my old bosses closed office doors. We all knew it was going to happen, but this poor girl Yasmine never saw it coming. Not only was I offered my old job back, but I was offered a considerable raise. No, I'm not going back.

The whole thing got me thinking though. Am I so safe? Three years ago, did the PB see me as such a non-threat that she placed me in that office knowing that she could rest comfortably knowing her husband wouldn't have an affair with me? I guess so. And, I guess Yasmine was too much of a threat.

I feel bad for Yasmine. She quit a comparably paying job with better benefits to work there and got fired three weeks later for wearing revealing clothes or for making the PB worry that her husband was going to engage in an illicit office affair. I'm not a huge fan of Yasmine's but it does seem like she got fired because she had a nice body and liked to show it off. They could have asked her dress down a bit.

And the worst part is how everyone acknowledges it, and then suggests that I take my old job back. It's basically like, "Emily, can you believe Yasmine got fired for being attractive? We never had to worry about that with you, why don't you come back to us"? I mean, how rude is that? And it's not like I'm ugly...just fat. Plus, to be perfectly honest, PB has no idea how life works if she thinks that the boys in the office didn't want to fuck me just because I am fat. I had more than a few offers and daily innuendos.

It's the only time I can remember that being overweight was actually mildly helpful while poor Princess Jasmine's perfect body got her a pink slip.

29 comments:

Anonymous said...

taking comfort in someone else's misfortune means you are unhappy with yourself.

Anonymous said...

What are you people sti doing on this site? THEY ARE NOT TAKING COMFORT IN SOMEONE ELSE'S MISFORTUNE!!! The were simply stating what happened.

Anonymous said...

That does sound like an odd form of reverse discrimination.

Anonymous said...

taking comfort in someone else's misfortune means you are unhappy with yourself.

While deliberately causing people grief marks you out as someone who's sublimely happy with their lot.

For the love of all that's holy, please go AWAY.

Anonymous said...

I think they are pretty much gone. :-) Nicer now.

Anonymous said...

I would not worry too much, if she is that georgous, rest assured she will be employed soon enough :)

Jennette Fulda said...

Regardless of the fat/thin issue, I don't think there are many jobs where you can get away with wearing see-through clothes and thong-bearing jeans. I'm fat and if I were to wear that to the office I'd be fired too.

However, out of professional courtesy someone should have told her to change her manner of dress before kicking her ass out the door. As a teenager I wore shorts to a job where I was sorting signature cards at a bank. I figured it would be okay since I was working in a closet all day, but one of the workers took me aside and told me shorts were unacceptable. I wore pants from then on and it wasn't an issue. I appreciated the fact that I was approached about the issue in a polite and discreet manner. I guess if you work for a psychotic bitch you can't expect the same.

JessiferSeabs said...

Yeah, Princess Jasmine could actually have a lawsuit on her hands if she wanted to bother... it's HARD to fire somebody without telling them multiple times what they've done wrong, giving them a chance to improve, and writing all of it up with HR present.

I think that if I were Princess Jasmine, I'd probably be calling my lawyer.

Anonymous said...

Jessifer, unfortunately, appearance-based discrimination of any kind, and even harassment, is notoriously hard to prove (especially in the face of any kind of defense centering around "requisite skills for the job"), not to mention expensive, if you're a plaintiff.

PQ, you're entirely right about professional courtesy; however, it seems to have gone the passive-aggressive way of "someone else's problem" in most of the urban areas I frequent these days. (I'm from where you currently are - Indiana, right? But I hang out on the right and left coasts. And am clearly feeling cynical today.)

I'm with Haystacks. She can get a gig with the quickness at any record label hiring receptionists or promoters, and any club hiring hostesses and list girls.

In the wake of "Devil/Prada", I'd watch out for fashion companies unless she's a size 0 or below. (Can you believe we're living and working in a world where I can even type that and have it make sense?)

And on topic, although I'm sure PB's fears contributed to PJ's firing (I've seen people fired for less), I'm less sure it's because she was gorgeous than the level of - ahem - exposure of said gorgeousness. I think it has a lot less to do with anyone being more or less attractive than another hiree in the position (hint, hint, Emily). So let's put that to rest (particularly in light of the holes you shot in PB's "target of seduction" logic), shall we?

Anonymous said...

but of course she's more attractive. emily said so herself.

JessiferSeabs said...

I'm sure it is hard to provee - but if she was never written up, asked to change her performance-based behavior, or talked to about her appearance (and no records of such incidents on file in HR), then she has a case, regardless of whether or not it was appearance-based dismissal or not.

Anonymous said...

Not in an employment-at-will workplace, JS. There, you can be fired for any reason, rational, work-related, or no -- absent an employer's (alleged) violation of some federal statute.

Of course not all states are at-will states. Where are you - IL? MN? The laws may be different where you are, but if you work in an at-will state (or sign an employment-at-will agreement as a condition of employment), you tend to be pretty much SOL save some federal statutory violation. Just because a person isn't fired for a "business-based" reason doesn't mean they have a common law, statutory, or regulatory basis for a wrongful termination suit.

Anonymous said...

Does anybody else hate the term 'reverse discrimination'? If a person is fired because of how they look, it is discrimination, no reversal of anything there. It's the same with the term 'reverse rascism', if a black person hates a white person because they are white, it's still just plain old rascism.

I know, off topic, but that has always bothered me, it is as though the perceived majority are not allowed to be plagued by the same problems as the repressed minority.

Anonymous said...

Oh I love the smell of schadenfreude in the morning...
Do you know for certain that Yasmine was not asked to change her dress? I'm female would find working around someone dressed like a hooker uncomfartable. It's just not professional.

Anonymous said...

Well, even if she can't file for wrongful termination, she still can make an unemployment claim. Having been there for such a short period will affect the amount she can collect, but she'll at least have something to go on while she looks for another position.

I once had to tell an employee that what they were wearing to work wasn't appropriate, and while it was *not* easy, I can't imagine asking someone to leave because of their dress and not giving them some kind of notice. (She may or may not have gotten any, but it doesn't sound like she got any kind of heads up.

Anonymous said...

Jasmine may not have been very good at her job.

I worked in one office for 3 years, another office for 5 years, and at schools for 3 years prior to that. I saw a dozen women who wore inappropriate clothing and even after being asked to change, they did not make much of an effort. They were also probably the worst workers we had. In one case it was extremely obvious that most of these girls were hired because the office men wanted eye candy.

So I think it's likely Jasmine was asked to change and didn't or did something else wrong that could result in termination. I do not feel sorry one bit for any woman who doesn't know that thong-revealing jeans are inappropriate for work.

I wouldn't read too much into the idea of you being "safe". I mean, you don't wear revealing clothes, you don't act in an inappropriate manner, and you did your job well. Of COURSE they want you back. Maybe PB (who has a host of problems) thinks fat chicks will never get hit on or be involved in affairs, but she's wrong, and you know it. I suspect PB is wrong about a LOT of things.

Anonymous said...

they might have fucked you, but you would have had to get dressed and leave immediately afterwards so no one knew that they fucked you.

innuendos and office flirting do not equal attraction, it equals condescension or bored male employees.

Get a grip on reality.

Anonymous said...

I gotta agree with anonymous. Flirting at the office does not mean they actually want to fuck you, it means they're bored and you're the only chick there so they'll humour you.

And hahaha! The PB only kept you cause you're fat and non-threatening! Great idea!

Anonymous said...

"they might have fucked you, but you would have had to get dressed and leave immediately afterwards so no one knew that they fucked you.

innuendos and office flirting do not equal attraction, it equals condescension or bored male employees."

"I gotta agree with anonymous. Flirting at the office does not mean they actually want to fuck you, it means they're bored and you're the only chick there so they'll humour you."

First of all, isn't it time for you two to leave and go back to reading Mr. Max's mind-numbling boring, embellished, fake, and otherwise worthless stories? Or shouldn't you two be at a frat party somewhere, contracting HIV?

I don't believe the author said anywhere that she did have sex with the male employees, wanted to have sex with them, was offered to have sex with them, or was considering to have sex with them. She just stated what other people did, in the way I am stating that you people have absolutely no English comprehension skills.

"And hahaha! The PB only kept you cause you're fat and non-threatening! Great idea!"

No, I believe she was kept because she was a good employee. Not something that you would be very familiar with, since you people follow Mr. Max's lead on surviving on daddy's trust fund money. Leave.

Anonymous said...

"OH"

Try reading this line, and then go purchase some hooked on phonics tapes.

"Plus, to be perfectly honest, PB has no idea how life works if she thinks that the boys in the office didn't want to fuck me just because I am fat. I had more than a few offers and daily innuendos." -fatty mcgee

And seriously, if ya'll want only people who agree with your lifestyle to read and post on your blog - maybe you should join a support group and stop posting on the WORLD WIDE WEB.

Anonymous said...

But she never said she took them seriously, as you and your knuckle-dragging friends keep implying. Shouldn't you be in a remedial college English class right now?

Anonymous said...

time to walk the short walk.

From now on, call me Mikey Loves Fat Women, because I am (him) and I do (them). Many thanks to buffpuff, as always.

Anonymous said...

Suuuure you've had many offers in your office to have sex.

If there was any doubt left about your delusional state, this entry has removed it.

Anonymous said...

oh, let me get this straight - in the last thread you're imploring everyone to ignore your grammar skills and look at your content, but now all of a sudden you're the queen of English?

Haha.. like I said before, get your retarded ass back to myspace and leave us adults to bicker amongst ourselves..

Anonymous said...

Hey, if people want to fight about grammar, I'll fight with them. I'm just here to troll, if you haven't figured that out already.

Oh, wait, of course you didn't. You read Tucker Max.

Laura said...

I feel bad for PJ, but at the same time, she should have know what kind of attire is appropriate for an office atmosphere. "Everything but nipples" is definitly not it. They might have given her a warning, they might not have, but she still should have know it was inappropriate.

Anonymous said...

My God. I can't wait 'til karma bites your trolls in the ass. How much you wanna bet they're all a bunch of butterfaces saving up for a new nose?

Seriously. No one with a real social life trolls this much.

Anonymous said...

Ok "oh", where is this part about not taking things seriously? I think you might need to repeat the reading comprehension portion of 6th grade English. If you can fit in the desk, that is. Unless they have x-large desks for the genetically and discipline disabled.


And the worst part is how everyone acknowledges it, and then suggests that I take my old job back. It's basically like, "Emily, can you believe Yasmine got fired for being attractive? We never had to worry about that with you, why don't you come back to us"? I mean, how rude is that? And it's not like I'm ugly...just fat. Plus, to be perfectly honest, PB has no idea how life works if she thinks that the boys in the office didn't want to fuck me just because I am fat. I had more than a few offers and daily innuendos.

Anonymous said...

Yasmine should file a complaint with the State for unjust dismissal & discrimination. Get testimony from some of her co-workers.