Tuesday, August 29, 2006

Intentionally Fat - DON'Tclick or watch at work!!!

I love love love before and after pictures pertaining to weight loss. I have known this for quite some time. But it took some getting used to for me to be comfortable with before and after pictures pertaining to weight gain. And I am still not exactly comfortable with the entire subculture of gaining and stuffing, but the amazing chronicles of weight gain journeys fascinate me to no end. There is something so perverse and intriguing about watching a person gorge themselves for long periods of time for the purpose of gaining weight. It seems incredibly counter-intuitive to me, but then again, I am still slightly confused that someone would choose to be obese. But these people exists, and I for one am thankful for that because they document their weight gain and give me a chance to be the creepy voyeur I always knew I could be.

The people who are into this subculture seem to be mainly guys who are into really fat girls, gay men into chubby gay men, or the random girl who for whatever reason wants to gain weight.

There are the critics of the subculture who feel that being in a feedee/feeder relationship is based on dominance and submission and that the feedee is really just being manipulated. And of course, most people who have heard about feeders/feedees cite the health concerns surrounding intentional weight gain. But that's not what I am writing about here. Because I have absolutely no interest in the feedee/feeder thing. I just like looking at the pictures of people as their weight progresses.

I don't think this post will appeal to everyone, so if you are offended by images of people getting fat on purpose, I wouldn't read much further. Also, some of these pictures and links are most definitely not safe for work!

I love looking at fat bodies where the person seems proud of his/her rolls and overall girth.

There are way better examples of weight gain progression in photos (you can find them on yahoo groups), rather then on film clips, but I am really trying to see if I can figure this whole putting film clips up on the blog thing.

Am I the only one who finds this whole thing fascinating? Has anyone else heard about this? Do you all think I am creepy for writing about this?

So, without further ado, here are some examples (of me trying to be technologically competent) of some weight gain clips:


Anonymous said...

I'm so happy I'm not the only person who is intrigued and grossed out by gainers! What's with feedees? What is that about? I mean, I know what it's about but, WHY!!!!

Shannon said...

Wow. You learn something everyday I guess. I definitely knew nothing about this before. Wow

Anonymous said...

I'd like to put in my two cents about feeder/feedee/gaining/stuffing/whatever.

First off, I'm a guy, I like big girls, and yes, I'm into this. But I'm not HARDCORE into it. I definately wouldn't want a woman I was in a relationship with to gain for me. I guess I just think chubby girls are cute and maybe I've associated eating with them. Heck, I even like thin girls, and I think it's sexy to feed them or watch them eat.

So yeah, we're not all creepy guys who want immobile girlfriends.

The Magnet said...

You may be interested in this weight gain contest:

mainja said...

okay, i have to say, i have never heard of this, so many thanks for the enlightening post...

the whole thing seems a bit weird, it's the whole desire to change your partner, i would feel the same way if my partner was telling me to lose weight, but it is facinating.

but i have to admit that the stuffing thing, the binging until their bellies swell, when i looked at that (once i realised what it was) i did feel a bit sick to my tummy, not sure why, it was a completely viceral reaction.

bloomie said...

OMG - when I was living in London 2 years ago they had this documentary (American actually so maybe it was shown here as well)about feeders and feedees and it showed one woman whose husband fed her to the point where she couldn't get out of bed. And they made porn out of it - Angela's (or whatever her name was) last steps. And they couldn't even have sex and I found it to be disgusting and abusive. It got to the point where she could not do anything without him - bathroom, dress, bathe, eat, etc...And part of me felt that she was doing it b/c otherwise she felt she would never be in a relationship. She eventually had gastric bypass surgery but only b/c they had adopted a daughter and she knew that if she died her husband would "remarry and giver her a new mother" in a heartbeat and forget about her. Nice, huh?

And they featured another woman who used to be a BBW porn star who moved into the second floor apt of her feeder boyfriend. He fed her to the point of immobility and then locked her in the apt, away from her family. Eventually she was able to get to a phone and her mom had the police break down the door to free her.

I am all into the FA movement. Love your fat and your bellies and your jelly, lord knows I do. But this, THIS IS ABUSE.

Feeding is dangerous and disgusting. And I swear to god that the women in stuffer31.com are merely preggers. I can't imagine how you would otherwise get a belly that big without any fat in the rest of your body.

Having said all that, the pictures are still kind of fascinating.

FatGrrl said...

I'm with ya on this one, McGee. The feeder/feedee lifestyle carries a morbid fascination for me, too. I've read fan fic about the phenomenon - written from the woman's (feedee) point of view - and it's really interesting.

The women in these stories, and I would assume in real life scenarios as well, are breaking through the taboos and restrictions surrounding eating and women's bodies. Through their eating and weight gain, they are taking back their bodies from a mysogynistic culture that dictates everything they should do with and put in to their bodies. That takes a lot of courage to do, and weight gain is just one way that some women do it.

It's body modification in my view - just like tattoos, piercings, implants, etc. But fat still carries such a stigma, that people don't want to consider it on those terms. They just see the fat, and say they are 'totally grossed out.'

The feeder/feedee relationship is tricky. I think that the examples Bloomie listed above are probably more appropriately categorized as incidents of already prevalent domestic abuse, rather that events that strictly occur among feeders/feedees. There are plenty of asshole men that isolate their partners from friends and family, the men described above just happened to use food as a means of control.

The feeder/feedee relationship may have some elements of Dominance/submission to it, but keep in mind that true D/s is about consentual power play. Food and weight gain being another aspect of D/s is not that surprising.

Thanks, McGee, for a great post!

Midknyt said...

I too have a morbid fascination with this, but the funny thing is I already learned about it on your blog a long time ago (maybe a year?)

Someone had posted a comment to a post about trying to get as fat as possible and to check out her blog, and I looked thinking she was joking or something...to find out she wasn't and was trying to get as fat as humanly possible. She would detail her food, and I remember the first breakfast I read had a dozen egg omelet, a whole pound of bacon, and half a dozen donuts or something like that, plus she drank protein shakes mixed with heavy cream several times a day.

She ended up taking the blog off because she was really pissy about people posting negative comments, but I looked every single day like a trainwreck.

Ah, the internet...allowing us to be anonymous voyeurs.

Tim said...

I love this stuff, not to the point of immobility, but really, why not? Not everyone is ashamed of being fat so why not get a little fatter? It's exactly the same as all the people starving themselves to be skinny. Both sides have their health risks, albeit more on the gaining side, but there's still risks to being too skinny. I think we have to get over the idea that being fat's gross and that some people want to be fat. Wht judge them? We have enough of that from the skinnies.

Tim said...

FYI, here's a belly vid of mine on Youtube. I'm not really a gainer, just a proud fatboy :)


Tim said...

One other thing, if a guy is attracted to fatgirls, most fatgirls don't like their weight and may be a little shyer and have lower self-images of themselves. This is what also attracts me to gainers, they're proud of their size and don't hide it. I think it's something to be admired. Like I said before, I'm not for immobility or stuffing a girl until she gets sick, I'm not even really into feeding. Just a sexy girl who flaunts her pounds. What's wrong with that?

Kat said...

I have to say, I think being skeletal-thin (Nicole Richie being the obvious example) is just as disturbing as these videos. It's not only the unsightly aspect of being either extremely fat, or very very thin, it's the changes that people seem to be traumatising their bodies with. I suppose the main downside of gaining is the fact that there is practically no end to it (short of death). Think of the super-obese, who go up to over 1000 lbs. With any kind of body-dysmorphic order, where does it end? When do you get thin/fat enough?

GoBetty said...

The latest Nicole Richie pics are disturbing. There was a point where I thought she looked great (although I loved her since the first season of The Simple Life when she was alledgely chunky), then she lost some weight, then she lost way too much weight in my opinion. She was always the funny one with a brain. Hope that she gets it together and eats something. "We've only just begun..."

Thanks Fatty for what has to be your weirdest post yet. PEACE OUT FATTIES - I LOVE TO SHOW YOU LOVE.

bloomie said...

Tim, how much do I adore you at this moment..."a sexy girl who flaunts her pounds." That would be me! I relish the

Nice belly video btw. I love bellys that jiggle, both mine and other peoples.

Anonymous said...

The problem with feedees who are "Sexy girls that flaunt their pounds" is that it's not always the case. If you watch the documentary mentioned above about the feeder/feedee husband and wife team it's seems pretty clear from some of her statements that the wife didn't become a feedee because she found it erotic, she did it because she was afraid that the would lose her husband. And he emotionally abused her into feeling that way.

Obviously there may have been some editing going on, but she does say that if she had to do it over again she wouldn't and he does say that he's turned off by her now that she's had gastric bypass.

Perhaps as above there are some girls who truely feel that way, but I feel very badly for the girls who feel forced into it in order to keep the feeder around.

Kunoichi said...

To me, these sites are just the opposite end of the food disorder spectrum. On one side, you've got the ana/mia folks who find their skeletal bodies sexy and have their "fans." Here, you've got the opposite. In my view, neither is healthy, though the ana/mia folks' behaviour is far more dangerous to their health. It's one thing to have a healthy view of your body, regardless of size, but when you start deliberately eating unhealthy (whether it's by starving or stuffing) to force your body to fit whichever ideal of "perfection" you've got, there's something wrong.

Tim said...

You all are all looking at severe cases on each side. True, they are there, but for the most part it's a happy chubby couple that enjoy eating and enjoy each others curvy fat bodies. What's wrong with that? I actually think it's a healthy self-image.

Anonymous said...

Anything taken to an extreme is disturbing.

Fatgrrl (not sure how many "r's" are in that name) compared it to body modifications- tattoos, piercings, etc.

I'm not sure that's accurate because the relative health risks, even when taken to an extreme aren't nearly as potentially fatal as stuffing yourself or having someone stuff you.

The more apt comparison (which someone already made) is anorexia, both ends of the weight spectrum are pretty much traumatizing.

I guess I'll save myself a couple of bucks and not have dinner after watching that.

Haystacks said...

I guess this creeps me out.
But mostley I don't understand it.
I have never even heard of feeders before this post.

FatGrrl said...

Puncher: I compared it to body modifications like tattoos and piercings not because of associated health risks (although enough dentists have given me the "be careful with your tongue piercing" talk to last a lifetime) but rather because of the element of personal choice and preference. Even anorexia falls into that category of choice, though we have to be wary of the idea of 'choice' when it comes to eating disorders. That's why I consider feederism to fall into the fetish category - it's a choice that consenting adults can take up with - and doesn't have pathology like an eating disorder does.

JM said...

Feederism freaks me the hell out, and I'm not sure why. I have no problem with fat people or with most d/s stuff, and I love love love to eat, so why the revulsion? Beats me. Maybe it's that it's a choice that isn't easily reversible. If you're into bondage or S&M, you can just get untied or say, "Hey, quit whipping me!" Whereas as a feedee, you're actually modifying your body, and if you change your mind or your relationship goes sour, you're stranded -- stuck with a social and medical disadvantage that you consciously chose to assume. Sure, you can lose weight again (easy as pie! er, as no pie!), but it will take a long time, and your body will never be the same again. I guess I can't imagine it being worth it.

Laura said...

i'm with jm on this one.

Freaks me out a bit. Ok, a lot.

Rick said...

You would think you fatgirls would be into it. I mean, you can be the greedy little piggies you know you want to be!

Tim said...

Hey gals, great blog of a gainer, who's very, very fat!


Anonymous said...

This kind of horrifies me too, and I too wonder from what that horror is derived. Dominant ideology about what's beautiful? Yeah, probably. But the more I thought about it, the more I thought that there was another component here. I guess my personal definition of "healthy body image" is a person who doesn't try to do too much "stuff" to her (or his, but usually her) body. Such a person exercises because it feels good and keeps her healthy and sane, not because of how it looks; she enjoys food without making food the reason for living, or obsessing either about how to eat less of it or how to eat more of it; her body art and piercings and such are pretty minimal, because the body's okay as is. If such a person's "overweight" (definition up for grabs), she doesn't go to crazy lengths to change that. She shows her body when it's appropriate, and doesn't go to crazy lengths either to hide or to expose it (anybody naked on the Internet isn't my thing, actually. For me, naked's mostly private.)

Yeah, I know: nice work if you can get it. And I do know this is just a personal definition, and I do know I'm also probably justifying dominant ideology, which has a way of getting us in the end no matter how much we fight it.

But the feeding thing, without even touching on the power dynamics, the question of who's in charge, the wild world of fetishism...like more common eating disorders, it runs counter to that definition of "accept your body as it is." I think that's what creeps me out about it. Certainly, the train-wreck feeling it gives me (very horrified, slightly fascinated) is much like the one I get on the pro-ana websites, on the rare occasions when I see them. (Or I could just be performing dominant ideology without knowing it, of course.)

Buffpuff said...

I agree with you, anonymous at 9.05. I think deliberate massive weight gain has equally massive shock value because it runs contrary to an ideal of beauty that's been promoted for decades. Society defines fat as something to be mocked, feared or revolted by; ergo attraction to fat is viewed by many as a sick perversion rather than a simple sexual preference. I'm guessing that in common with anything else society regards as taboo or profoundly deviant, someone who feels obliged to keep their desire under wraps might well end up perving on the most extreme form of fat imaginable because the bigger the body the more profound the illicit thrill.

I think this is why dating fat admirers is something of a minefield. Few women like to be viewed purely as a sex object but to be viewed as a taboo sex object leaves a doubly unpleasant taste in the mouth. Ultimately most of us want to be desired for ourselves not reduced to some random body part. (As the owner of a belly with which I live in armed neutrality, I have to say the big ol' belly party came as an eye opener).

Feederism is the most extreme kind of fat fetish and, from my perspective, I don't view it as a rebellion against misogynistic culture at all. I think it's an utterly dehumanising form of abuse. And way creepy. Given that there is a correlation between appetite and sexual appetite I can understand perfectly the attraction of watching a person tucking into a meal with gusto rather than picking at a couple of undressed lettuce leaves all night. Hell, I like a man who appreciates my cooking too and as long as he's cute I really don't care if he's fat or thin. But to force food into a body and render it immobile and helpless? Not sexy. At least not to me.

And Rick. You left the P off your name. Silly little boy.

Tim said...

You left me a little confused with your post. You say that dating a guy, who likes fatgirls, (i.e.you), is a 'minefield and unpleasant". This makes no sense, you're pretty much saying that you don't want anyone to date you for your looks (I know it's not the most important aspect of love but it's up there), then when a guy comes around who doesn't go by the standard of beauty of thin that is 'unpleasant'? What?!?!

Anonymous said...

No, BuffPuff said she doesn't want a fetishist, as in someone who only values her for her weight and would no longer be attracted to her if she lost weight.

Tim said...

To anonymous 1:19, what makes liking fatgirls a 'fetish' thing? Is liking skinny girls a fetish thing? Sounds like someone's been brainwashed by society. There's nothing wrong, I repeat, nothing wrong with thinking fatgirls are attractive. We aren't going into personality, sense of humor, etc. because that's not the topic of this post.

It's almost 'damned if you do, damned if you don't', you bigger gals may get mad when a guy ignores you for your pretty skinny friend, but then when a guy goes for you over your skinny pretty friend he's a freak or a fetishist? WHAT!!

Anonymous said...

Tim, I didn't say that. I said that there are CERTAIN FETISHISTS who treat girls who are overweight like a play thing and not an actual person. That does not at all include people who find fat people attractive. Fetishists do not treat them like actual people, instead just a big belly or butt or whatever for them to play with. There's a big difference there.

Buffpuff said...

Okay, Tim, I'll try and explain what I mean a little better. Firstly, it takes a brave young man to admit he prefers a more substantial woman and if his friends have a problem with that they can kiss his arse. If you are one of those unashamed, healthy, well-sorted few, I salute and admire you. I use the word "young" in this instance because a guy in his teens or twenties is more likely to have peer ostracisation issues - and also because I have met several older men who, despite being attracted to larger women, felt constrained to date and even marry slim women in their youth.

What I have a problem with is the ├╝ber-repressed fuck-ups for whom the girl's personality is pretty much immaterial just as long as she's plenty fat. We are, in effect, interchangeable to them just as long as they get their jollies. I've had dealings with a couple of fat-admirers who projected fat-fantasies onto me which had absolutely nothing to do with who I am, and I assure you it's not complimentary. An acquaintance of mine had an affair with a man who "no longer found his wife attractive" after she underwent bariatric surgery, so he just ordered himself up a replacement on the internet. Presumably his wife was a three dimensional human being with whom he shared a past and maybe even children, but the poor dear simply wasn't fat enough for him any more.

There are other issues too. The men who never summon the requisite backbone to "come out" so they keep their fat lovers a secret, (plenty of married sleazes seeking fat flings in the lonely hearts); the hogging fraternity who can bullshit each other all they like about how repulsive and laughable they find fat women but curiously manage to get it up for them all the same; the men who have a deep-seated need to put women down and will select a fat partner because society tells them she'll be desperately insecure and stand for his shit. All true, Tim. And, given that fat women have also been socially brainwashed to believe they're unattractive, unsexy and undeserving of love, is it any wonder some are a little suspicious? Just read the craigsslist thread on this blog to see just how very screwed society is when it comes to fat and sex.

And the frustrating thing is it really doesn't have to be this way.

Marly said...

I had never even heard of feeding before, but it does bother me quite a bit. It isn't okay to want to be with someone *as soon as* they gain some weight, just like its not okay to want to be with someone when they lose weight. It's blatantly disregarding personality and mental attraction.

Eridani Black said...

**claps** BuffPuff is my hero! :D

Anonymous said...

My husband TRIES to feed me too much by bringing home junk food and trying to get me to "enjoy" some. I think he wants me to get fat for his own comfort. My father was also like this with my mother, bringing her treats when she wanted to loose weight.

Kristyl said...

I have to say I really find this subject frightening! It causes me personal anxiety (I wish I could say I’m joking but I’m not)!! Did you know that if you search Blogger for people who are into BBW you’ll find some *scary shit!?! (Well it’s scary to me!). I am not offended. I don’t think anything could really offend me, but I am profoundly tramatized!

other then that i enjoyed reading the post!!! yeah im odd.. pffft

buffpuff said...

My father was also like this with my mother, bringing her treats when she wanted to loose weight.

I don't think this counts as feederism. It might just be that your husband and/or your dad had fears that if their wives lost too much weight they'd go looking for a more studly replacement. Or that she/you might stop cooking stuff they like to eat and forcing them to go to the gym.

Anonymous said...

I'm not a feeder, but I'm a woman who is only attracted to fat guys, because I think it's really sexy how guys are just allowed to be fat and eat a lot and nobody says word one to them about it.* So to me, being with a fat guy is like vicariously being allowed to be fat.

*I know, people say mean stuff to fat guys too. But it can't be even close to the shit people feel they can say to a fat woman.

Dolley said...

Amen to anonymous 5:34 p.m. To add to Buffpuff's list, there are also the genuinely sweet guys who know you like something and bring it to you because you like it, and they don't give a damn what you weigh; they just think you should have something you like. Which is basically really good, but not if you're trying to watch your food intake (whether for health reasons or other, not my business). I had a friend who was convinced my ex-husband kept me on a starvation diet, and he always worried that I wasn't eating enough, so he kept bringing me food. Sometimes it was healthy food, sometimes it was just stuff that he knew I liked, but he was 6'3", and his idea of how much was a healthy amount for me to eat and my idea, at 5'6", were not the same. I wound up eating food I didn't want so that he wouldn't worry, and that's not a good situation, either. We have since negotiated a better understanding about food, but it was surprisingly thorny and fraught with emotional discussions - and I'm the one dealing with the 20-30 extra pounds that settled in during this period.

Per Buffpuff's observation, there are at least three kinds of guys who do the deliberate diet sabotage: the guys who sabotage diet attempts because they like their wives/girlfriends as they are (and who do not harp on said wives/girlfriends to lose weight, because they do indeed like them as they are); there are the guys who do harp on their wives/girlfriends to lose weight, but sabotage their diets, because they secretly prefer them the way they are; and there are the guys who harp on their wives/girlfriends to lose weight, but sabotage their diets, because it's easier for them to control their wives/girlfriends, mentally and emotionally, if the wives/girlfriends are focused on trying to fix what's wrong with their bodies. That way, their attention is directed away from any problems in the relationship that might need fixing. Sometimes, in fact, the wives/girlfriends are made to believe that any and all problems in a relationship stem from their weight, and losing the weight would show that up as the vicious controlling lie that it is. So the controlling partner sabotages weight loss efforts, and has another reason to belittle the dieting partner.

Whitney said...

One of the saddest things I have ever seen. Why would some DESTROY their health on purpose?


Anonymous said...

Because they like sex, Whitney. Not everyone is fridgid.

violet_yoshi said...

I agree with bloomie. There has been some contraversy about this, that claims that part of the feeder/feedee lifestyle..is that the feeder intends to incapacitate the feedee, to the point where they're "owned" by the feeder.

I'm not saying this is like every case, but it seems like those who were like the couple in the documentary, the feeder was mentally corrupt in some way.

Anonymous said...

I enjoy stuffing my wife, She is HUGE now (always was a pretty big girl) and I love every inch of her.

She told me she wants to eat till she cant walk. YUMMY

KiernanCasting said...

I'm glad I found this blog and thread!

I'm working on a new food docu-series about people with unusual eating habits and rituals and I'm very interested in hearing from people who are either feeders or feedees.

If anyone is interested in telling me a bit more about the fetish and wants to hear more about the show, please contact Jessica at Kiernancasting(at)gmail(dot)com ASAP.