Monday, December 19, 2005

Two Things

I heard the most wonderful conversation when I was at the LB (Lane Bryant) this weekend. All the fat employees were standing in a circle talking about different times they were mistaken for being pregnant. One girl said she didn't care, one woman said it hurt her self esteem and the other woman said, and I quote:

"I tell 'em I not pregnant...I'm obviously just fat!"
Then she started grabbing parts of her body and saying:

"This ain't baby, this is fat" "This ain't baby, this is fat"

So, that's totally my new mantra.

2nd thing

I saw my friend Laura's father this weekend. I've known her and her family for around 13 years. Her father, Jeff, has lost some weight, (I know, big fuckin' whoop), so I told Jeff how great he looked. Then he said:

"You can do it too Kid-o!"

Seriously, I was about to kick him in his fucking balls.

15 comments:

Anonymous said...

A stupid woman once asked me on a job interview when the baby was due. I told them that I had delivered already and it was stillborn. She got really upset. I got the job.

I don't know why I lied but it was 10+ years ago and I still get an evil pleasure when I think about it.

I am amused at all dieters who have the "anser". They ALL gain it back. Plus more.

Anonymous said...

HAHAHAHAHA

Anonymous said...

Wait...

You didn't kick him in the balls?! Why the hell not?!

The first part of that cracked me up - reminded me of something you might see on Maury.

Anonymous said...

I dont think you should be so upset at that guy for suggesting that you could do it too. He meant it as a compliment, that he knew you were able to lose weight just as easily if not more. I cant comment on all fat men everywhere, but as a fat man who has been told the same thing it comes across more as a compliment to my character. If your friends father was trying to be insincere or rude he would have said something like, "If you werent so lazy you'd have lost some weight by now!". Maybe im trying to defend him cuz he, like me, is a guy and although I havent lost weight i dont take suggestions about me losing weight as personal attacks but more as words of encouragement.

Anonymous said...

i agreee with anonymous that he prolly was just trying to be encourageing... but still... you should have kicked him in the balls... you dont say that to someone!!! And the preggers thing, that happens to skinny ppl too... it happened to a friend of mine who weighs around 135, she went on a huge diet and lost about 20 lbs cause of it...

Anonymous said...

Unless it's a guy. For some reason unknown to me, it's funny when an old guy asks another old guy with a pot belly "when's the baby due?".

Har! har! har!!!

And it gets funnier every time they ask.

I still have no idea why.

Em said...

It's never happened to me, but I live in fear, I tell you. Live. In. Fear.

asdfasdfasdf said...

i love your blog! you're a great writer.

Anonymous said...

Whenever somebody tells me that it lloks like I've lost weight, I turn to him or her with mock horror and say: "That's a vicious lie!"

Anonymous said...

Why would you be angry because he was encouraging to you? That's so bizarre. I guess if you would prefer to be even fatter you could just say "thanks anyway, but I'm really working hard to crack 300." However--if you're frustrated that you haven't lost weight, I could see that you might find his comment painful to hear. But either way, it was well-intentioned, so I see no reason why you'd be angry with him. What he says makes sense--*you can do it too*...but only if you really, really want to.

Anonymous said...

It's not bizarre that she was angry. She was angry because his response ("You can do it, too, kiddo!") to her comment ("You look great!") carries a subtext. The subtext in his response was, "You, however, do NOT look great. You are not all right the way you are. However, you could look great, too, if you lost weight."

See, the happy loving response on seeing your daughter's friend at the holidays would have been, "You look great, TOO!" - and NOT "You can also lose weight the way I did so that you can then look great too." (which is the translation of, "You can do it, too, kiddo!")

Anonymous said...

I'm not sure where I read it, but I always thought this was the best response to someone asking when the baby was due: "I'm not pregnant, but thanks for assuming I'm having sex!"

Christi Nielsen said...

Whenever I visit my grandfather, I watch the clock to see how long it takes him to make a comment about my weight. It's usually under 5 minutes. Nice!

Anonymous said...

Whatever happened to just saying THANK YOU when you receive a compliment??

Anonymous said...

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