Counter-Coulter

I wanted to start off with, "Ann Coulter is a cunt", but that just doesn't seem right. "Anne Coulter is a psychotic manipulative bitch". Ehhh, that has no oomph. Plus, its not fair to cunts or bitches. So: Ann Coulter is what's wrong with America. Perfect.

Coulter angers me to the point where I can't keep my mouth shut, even if I'm by myself, prompting me to yell at the TV set or magazine article. I basically think everything she says and stands for is part of the faux Republican sound byte machine, and that none of it really makes sense if you think about it logically. She loves pissing people off, and the fact that I am even writing this about her would probably make her smile. Or neigh. Whatever horsey pundits to when they are pleased.

In case you are not familiar with her, some of her notable quotes are:

- "My only regret with Timothy McVeigh is he did not go to the New York Times Building."
- "It would be a much better country if women did not vote. That is simply a fact. In fact, in every presidential election since 1950 - except Goldwater in '64 - the Republican would have won, if only the men had voted."
- "Frankly, I'm not a big fan of the First Amendment."
- "God gave us the earth. We have dominion over the plants, the animals, the trees. God said, 'Earth is yours. Take it. Rape it. It's yours.'"
- "There are a lot of bad Republicans; there are no good Democrats."

Those are just a few of my favorites. And, yes, she really said them.

And it's not that I have anything at all against a strong, outspoken, controversial woman. Even if she is a staunch Republican who throws the word liberal around like it's a code word for Nazi. I just can't stand that everything she stands for and makes her money from is protected by the civil liberties she would see thrown to the wayside. How can this woman hate the First Amendment?

I detest almost everything she stands for, and yet, I had no reason to write about her on this blog until I realized she vilifies fatties along with liberals, Arabs, gays, women, and immigrants.

First, she managed to insult arguably the most well know chubby Jewish woman of the last 15 years by saying that it makes sense to liberals that, "President Clinton saved the Constitution by repeatedly ejaculating on a fat Jewish girl in the Oval Office". First of all, Clinton saved the Constitution by cigaring Monica? How did he do that? It doesn't make sense to this liberal. And what does fat or Jewish have to do with her point in that comment? Why did she even have to mention Monica's size? Does it somehow make it worse that Monica was over a size 12 when she lifted the married Presidents spirits inside the oval office? It sounds like if Monica had been a svelte shiksa, Coulter would have been less offended that the President was cheating on his wife. But Coulter just had to add that Monica was fat AND Jewish. The nerve of the President to have such bad taste: A fatty and a semite!

And then I read that Coulter thinks, "[The] backbone of the Democratic Party [is a] typical fat, implacable welfare recipient". That just perpetuates the myth that the poor are fat and lazy (and therefore democratic?). America is fat, not just liberals. And, again, I must ask what including the word Fat added to her inane comment.

I also have to add that Coulter capitalizes on her thin blond looks by wearing the miniest of skirts and posing for almost scandalous photo shoots. There are rumors on the Internet that she is bulimic or anorexic. I don't know if those rumors have any truth to them, but since I doubt anyone would listen to her or read her book if she were overweight, maybe she vilifies fatties because she knows her pathetic career would be over if she ever gained weight.

But then again as a fat, Jewish, voting, pro-choice, queer friendly, feminist, liberal, pacifist I am glad that the First Amendment protects Coulter's freedom of ridiculous speech. Because if she were put in an equine insane asylum like she deserves, who would remind me that Ann Coulter is what's wrong with America, and not fatties (or liberals).