Wednesday, June 14, 2006

Stuart Little

After reading through the mediocre posting I wrote about the Wide World of Hogging, I decided to revisit the website of the last guy I was with who made me feel hogged.

Now, to put this into context, this is a guy who I have slept with a few times and who, after the last time made it quite clear to me that even though the sex was (quite) enjoyable, I might want to keep looking if what I wanted was a regular "thing", and the unspecified reason was, well, because I am fat.

He was always really nice to me while we were together. This wasn't one of those hogging experiences where he degraded me and called me fat to my face because, even though I have low self-esteem, I have a pretty high self worth. A strange mixture to be sure, but I do that I am pretty damned awesome in a multitude of areas, just not the one area (weight) which seems be the end all be all for the worth a woman in some people's eyes.

I am pretty sure I made him feel self conscious about his own meager weight gain since the last time we had slept together. I think I made a comment about how his new belly was really fucking hot, and I could tell instantly that it was a mistake to say it and that if I (a lowly fat girl) was commenting about it, then he had better do something about it.

Now, I do not normally visit his blog. It bores me, it's contrived and has a feeling of superiority that I feel is unwarranted. Not to mention that some of it is poetry which good or bad I always hate. But, because of the hogging article I checked in on his blog and lo and behold the latest entry was about weight - his new slim frame and that of a fat girl at his gym whom he has labeled "A train".

I have a nagging suspicion that it was my comment to him that was the last straw which made him get his ass to the gym. And for some reason I think that's really funny. Crunch gym should hire me to stand outside and call people fat - I am apparently an awesome catalyst to motivate people to go to the gym!

I think I am really bitter about the way he treated me - maybe it's just that he was really good on paper - hot, semi-interesting, at least half Jewish, and good in bed. And if I wasn't so fat, we could have ended up differently. Or not. I do know that he is a supreme narcissist and has some issues of his own and that I tend to blame all of my problems on weight, but seriously...am I that awful that I am unworthy to be anything but a hog?

And why do I still want to sleep with him?

He looks way hotter with some weight to him. Oh well.

89 comments:

Anonymous said...

You're better off without him. His blog is so lame. Yours is so much better. You won this battle!

Rivka said...

I read a bit of his blog. He goes on and on like a crackhead. I left him a comment. He should be made aware of other peoples feelings.

Anonymous said...

I liked his post for today, but I glanced at a few of his other postings and they were really boring and pointless.

He sounds insecure with his own self.

I doubt he tried to hurt your feelings.

Men can be very oblivious.

empty nest was the best show said...

I just found a picture of him on his blog and he is really hot! Too bad he's a dick and hogged ya.

Anonymous said...

I have really low self esteem and a high self worth as well. Do you think you can raise your self esteem without losing weight?

Anonymous said...

Why would he make fun of an overweight person in a gym?? Isn't that, theoretically, the best place to be if you want to lose weight??

Buffpuff said...

Well...he reads like a self-absorbed, pretentious arsehole to me.

Stop beating yourself up already with the, "if I wasn't so fat it could've all been so different between us" and read my lips: He didn't respect you; he's not a very nice person and his value system stinks. Sure, had you been slender, he might've done you the supreme favour of being seen in public with you...but he'd still have been a tosser. Plus you'd've had to listen to his wanky soul-searching on a regular basis, which, if his website is anything to go by, would've gotten old pretty damn soon.

He didn't deserve you but. more importantly, you deserve a whole lot better.

floradoragirl37 said...

I just have to comment that reading his blog made literally no sense to me....and Im not a dummy! He just kind of rambled on about things. Not remember the name of the person he's sleeping with? How many brain cells does this guy actually have? I think you really dodged a bullet with this guy. He's boring and no matter how hot he is, or how good in bed he is, after awhile of being with someone, you need something more than that to make it work.
You can do better.

Anonymous said...

Yeah - what buffpuff said. The privilege of getting to sleep with someone who thinks it's cool to pretend he can't remember your name (even if you're "hot") isn't much of a privilege. You're right, chickadee...he's a total narcissist. You can do better.

Stacia said...

Girl, please. If this guy is being a dickweed to you because of your weight, why would you even entertain the thought of "gee, I wish I was thin so we could have a relationship"? That's horrible and offensive. It's as though you think he's the better one in the relationship and if you just improved, you'd be worthy of him. That's crap and you know it. You KNOW you know it. He'd still be a dickweed but just wouldn't show it because you'd be thin. What kind of relationship would that be?

But honestly, and I'm being completely blunt here, if you're judging him based on how physically attractive he is then maybe you deserve to be judged based on your looks, too. What's good for the goose and all. If you're both just using each other for occasional sex then suck it up, honey, you're BOTH being superficial. You can't be bitter about him being judgemental if you're doing it right back at him.

Plus, you're an adult. If he's being a jerk and you keep letting him into your bed then what reason would have to stop being a jerk?

pepa said...

Listen to your fans! You deserve much, much better than this guy!!!

Look around you...look at how love has come to women & men of all shapes and sizes.

Don't "wait to lose the weight" in order to find a quality man. Be self-assured and the right man will show up no matter what your weight is.

Jennifer said...

Rivka, I find your comments pretty insensitive toward crackheads.

I mean, this guy is writing this clearheaded.

Please give the crackheads some credit.

pepa said...

I have to agree with what Stacia (5:55 PM) says... She does make some good points.

PastaQueen said...

Why does he put those long breaks between his paragraphs?



Is his "Enter" key stuck?



Perhaps his cat was stepping on the keyboard.



Or maybe he does it because he thinks it makes him seem deep.

shiloh said...

my man has gained some weight lately, and i think he looks a lot better. cuter... softer. he thinks he looks gross.

sigh.

Anonymous said...

His writing is incredibly bad. I'll bet even he doesn't even know what that Kerouac paragraph means.

I bet his daddy paid for a nice college degree, but the guy doesn't have the IQ God gave a beagle.

I can't believe anyone so self absorbed would be good in bed.

mainja said...

of course, now he'll follow all the people getting onto his site from here to there, and the issue will all be on the surface 'cause you'll have both read each other's blog...

littlem said...

OK, first, if you were still dating him, you'd have to apply the ice to his nose when he got in the (what looks like it's going to be inevitable) fight with 63rd Avenue.

Second, just wait a few years. I just had a date with a guy I had a GINORMOUS crush on in college -- he is brilliant, and was so handsome girls would drop stuff when he came in to the cafeteria. (Clearly the memory is vivid.)

Come to find out he's balding and nowhere near as cute as he used to be, and still quite pompous, but had to find some manners to email me (2 days late, I might add; our date was Saturday) and tell me I am an excellent hostess. Well, I KNEW that, because I've been working on my charm for all this time because I didn't have my looks to back me up like he did, and now he has to play catch up like a mofo!

BWAhaha!!!!!!!!!!

I am smug because he said he would like to get together again. I believe I will let him sweat it out for a bit.

I feel sure your fate will be similar. :D

K said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
K said...

I wrote some things which I might later regret. I have deleted them. Suffice it to say, I don't think you should waste your time on him any more. He sounds very self-centred.

Anonymous said...

Definitely not good enough for you, sweetheart.

Think hard before going out with someone more insecure than you are.

Never go out with someone pretentious, unless they are also damn funny. This guy is not funny. He's up himself.

Never go out with someone vain. (I'm not talking a basic level of grooming here.)

And certainly never go out with someone who judges everyone by his own low standards. I'm talking about the "forgetting people's names" thing.

You can do much better and you will!

pepa said...

This situation reminds me a bit of Bridget Jone's Diary a movie I really didn't like, but anyway. When Bridget falls for the handsome jerk and sleeps with him BEFORE ever establishing what their relationship is, what she wants from him and what SHE means to HIM - I asked myself: Why such guillability from a grown woman? Where's her common sense?

You're deserving of someone good - why end up with a guy that can't deal with your weight and can't offer you a relationship? I would suggest that before you start a new relationship -> Get things clear from the beginning, your guy should offer you all or you should take nothing.

Melissa said...

Pseudo-intellectual, arrogant without justification, pretentious asshat.

I'm just sayin...

GoBetty said...

HA! Stacia said "dickweed"!

GoBetty said...

Where's the pic of this dude? Will someone link to it please?

Stephb0b said...

This guy sounds like he TRIES to sound smart. It’s like he sits down with a thesaurus when he blogs. He writes like he wants others to believe he is brilliant and charming and important and all that comes across is arrogant dribble and overly dramatic breaks in his paragraph. He makes fun of a fat girl for TRYING to lose weight and get in shape for crying out loud! Isn’t that a huge reason a lot of fatties don’t go to the gym, because they’re afraid someone will judge them and laugh at them? I detest people like him, they should all drown in fat sweat. Blah.

alice said...

Mainja has a point - you know that he can track back to this blog from the link, right?

And ditto to the folks above - he's made it clear that weight is a deal-breaker for him, which means that the two of you aren't compatible (even if you were thin.)

Lamenting the fact that you can't find someone with his cool attributes (I"m taking your word on these) and without that hangup? Totally understandable. Wanting to sleep with him as he is? My guess is that you're bummed out at the lack of possibility, and hope that if you try repeating the encounter enough times, maybe he'll change.


But we all know that that doesn't happen.

Dani said...

Psst.. Never link to someone's blog unless you want them to know you are talking about them!

As for Hot, I suppose everyone has their likes. IMHO, he's average at best, but I have strange tastes. However, I DO have tastes, and I'll admit my shallowness. I have NEVER, EVER dated someone I didn't find totally attractive. Ever. It is a deal breaker for me. Even when I was 310 pounds. Most people are like this, even if they claim not to be. Everyone has deal breakers. You can't blame people for their deal breakes. You just have to make sure that you don't embody them BEFORE you sleep with someone.

Anonymous said...

I know it sucks when someone doesn't want to have a relationship with you, but at least you can console yourself with the fact that that guy is a complete A-hole. Two weeks into dating him, you would have wanted to kill him every time he opened his mouth.

Also, I am so psyched for when he figures out you linked us all to his blog and then starts posting passive-aggressive crap about you on his blog. Blog wars between exes...is there anything more fun?

(No, there is not).

Anonymous said...

Thin or fat, good-looking or not, the best thing you can do for yourself is hold out for the good ones out there. I'd rather be alone than settle for less (and your fuck buddy is definitely less no matter what he looks like). You may feel lonely without a guy but it's better than feeling less than special. Trust me...I know of which I speak. I am hot when I'm buff but my weight goes up and down. My husband loves me through all my incarnations, but we started off in a platonic relationship. I had to avoid a lot of Turds (like your untalented guy there) before I met the right one. Once you meet the right one you'll regret having given that Turd the time of day much less a moment's thought or any amount of angst. He's just not worth it. Be strong Sister!

GoBetty said...

Fats, PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, post some pics of yourselves. I wanna see you brilliant blog-writers, sex-enjoyers, recent-grads. COME ON. Hit me back.

Neekeela said...

And if I wasn't so fat, we could have ended up differently. Or not. I do know that he is a supreme narcissist and has some issues of his own and that I tend to blame all of my problems on weight, but seriously...am I that awful that I am unworthy to be anything but a hog?

I hear you. When I was a lot heavier, a size 24 at 5'1", I also assumed a man I had a huge crush on, who was also a friend I sometimes slept with, would love me if I was thin. I also assumed a lot of things in my life would be better once I was thinner. Then I lost some weight. A lot of weight actually, and discovered some things did get better, while other things got worse.

It was oddly nice to be invisible when I walked down the street at size 24, now I'm the size where men feel it's OK to catcall and say lewd things, but not thin enough for them to think I'm too good for such comments. I guess I'm trying to say you're right on some level--maybe he would want you if you were thinner. Maybe you would want him. Maybe if you were thinner your self esteem and sense of what you deserve would lead you to want more than what this guy could offer you. Of course, you want him now because he rejected you and you're feeling low--women feel that way sometimes REGARDLESS of their size.

But, that doesn't mean men wouldn't continue to prey on you or judge you for how you looked--in fact, it might get worse. Of course you are not awful and are far more worthy than being treated like a hog--NO ONE deserves to be treated sub-human, regardless of what they look like. That blogger who refers to a fat girl an "A Train" and Rick and Mark from the article all have one thing in common--they are very capable of reducing people to sub-humans and because of how they look. That is scary as well as upsetting to me as it's something racists and sociopaths have in common.

I don't know you, I only know what you share here in your funny, well articulated fat girl voice, but I can almost guarantee as a women trying to ride a train out of fatville that not everything is weight related, but a lot of it is because we make it so.

Anonymous said...

I liked this guy once when I was "fat." I probably wasn't what anyone here considers fat, but at the time, in the group I was in, 140 at 5' 3" was fat. Whatever. Anyway, I lost 30 pounds and I "got" that guy, sure enough. I then wasted 2 years of my dating life worried about what he thought of me - I was never good enough, never, just thin enough to take out in public and screw in private. And, shocker, he turned out to be a total jackass who broke my heart in a way I cannot even begin to describe.

I'd have been better off without the weight issue and without having been through that experience with jerkface. Such is life. Take it for what it's worth.

Interestingly, I ran into him a couple of years ago with his girlfriend, who was pretty hefty. I still haven't entirely figured that one out. I'd like to think maybe it's not as much about weight as I assume, then I think, no, there must be something else going on.

Anonymous said...

What happened to the link to his blog? I started to read it at work, but got distracted (by WORK) so I was going to finish when I got home...now it's not there.
Hm.

snackiepoo said...

Ya know, I totally think you deserve a man that you can have a really great "thing" with even though you aren't skinny. My husband has never and would never treat me or any other woman like that and you deserve much much better. I read a bit of his blog yesterday and just rolled my eyes and thought that all women are better off without him, even if he is a total hottie in bed.

Anonymous said...

Oh, honey, I know it sometimes sucks to be fat, not even for the fat itself but for the way people act about it. But in this context our fat is our SUPER POWER. Through the magical power of fat we see through the pretenses! People lose their smarmy ability to pretend to be better than they are and instead show us just how shallow, jerky and stupid they are! We see right through them with our fat girl x-ray vision! Through the magical power of fat you were given the chance to see just what kind of bozo this guy was, saving precious time and energy that would have been wasted if you were a thin girl, without x-ray vision.

I sound like I'm joking, but I'm not. On the days that I am truly, honestly glad to be fat, this is why. We don't live behind a curtain. We see people for who they really are. This is a gift. A real gift.

Miss X said...

I'm with anon, came back to check out the link to his blog and it's gone now.

Great post, and everyone who has commented has raised valid points. I think it can be seen about relationships as a whole, not just about size. You can't force a relationship and think that you need to change things about yourself to fit a person. That you weren't "right enough" because you weren't this or that.

This post and the comments have helped me immensely, thank you.

Anonymous said...

Please repost the link.

Thank you.

fairest said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...

Thank you.

Read the blog. What a douchebag.

fairest said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anyone said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...

Yeah, Have you ever hogged a girl before, "fairest"?

Buffpuff said...

Why, Fairest, how very postmodern of you to provide us, your un-fan club, with a link to your own blog!

Anything to say in defence of your shallow treatment of someone kind enough to sleep with your pretentious ass?

fairest said...

Well, if I hurt this girl (who I don't know, at least, I don't think I know her, not by the name fatty mcgee, or Emily, or Lindsay) I showed poor judgement for being insensitive to her feelings. At least it would appear that way from her declarations.

I usually don't try to lead people on when I'm seeing them, but I'm sure everyone is guilty of not being complete honest with their dates.

I think her posting is not half bad, if inaccurate in many ways. I am not "half-Jewish" for example. I don't know what that means or who in the world can be half a religion.

It's the shooting gallery in these comments that's a bit flipped out, very angry.

I'm also interested, in general, about how you folks use the word "pretentious" -- what does it mean to you when you say it and, after it's said, how does it make you feel? Information on "narcissist" would also be interesting.

I also like the "cat stepped on his keyboard" comment up top. Very imaginative!

Anonymous said...

I think he's embarrassed and I think he doesn't like people not liking him or telling him the truth and I think this is a great thing you've done in the name, including me, of all girls who have been fucked over by assholes. Bravo. Seriously...you almost moved me

Plain_Jane said...

THIS WHOLE DEBACLE IS THE BEST THING I HAVE EVER READ IN MY ENTIRE LIFE!!!!

I am so proud of you for calling him out like that, and having him answer for his actions! How I wish I could have done this to almost all the men in my life who left me feeling used and alone.

THANK YOU!!!

fairest said...

I think the word for it is "fiasco" more than a "debacle" but I see where you're going.

Buffpuff said...

So, Fairest-of-the-fair, let me just get a couple of things straight here...

You claim not to know the woman in question. Are we to assume from this that there have been several fat women you considered good enough to park your dick in behind closed doors but not worthy enough to merit your affection and/or respect?

Do you, in point of fact, consider fat to be a "deal breaker"? If this is the case I might suggest that, in future, you politely decline any offers of sex from the more generously-proportioned to avoid hurting their feelings. (This is assuming you are such a hot ticket in the sack the poor dears can't help themselves).

Ah, but of course, you're a man...and what bloke worth his salt turns down sex, for pity's sake? Well, aside from the deeply religious and unfashionably chivalrous, I'd have to say the kind of man who doesn't find the lady in question sexually attractive. A standing cock may well have no conscience but neither is it a liar. Much as I'd love to believe all men hanker for a big, big love deep down, I know this isn't the case. But, to my mind, any guy who can physically get it up for a fat girl, especially more than once,does. It's unlikely you'll ever be honest with your dates if you don't learn to be honest with yourself.

In answer to your question, I generally use the word "pretentious" to describe a person who likes to think he's a whole lot more deep, culturally clued-up and talented than he actually is. After I used the term I detected no significant change in my demeanour, but calling you a tosser felt pretty good.

Plain_Jane said...

BuffPuff, you always sound so deeply angered as to make you seem on the constant verge of having an aneurysm. Are you ok?

"Fairest" - I'd stick with debacle, thanks. Did you read their post about "Hogging"? Do you do that in any way? Do you like fat women? Or do you fuck them for sport or to appease the boredom? I seriously want to know.

buffpuff said...

How I wish I could have done this to almost all the men in my life who left me feeling used and alone.

Amen and I'm fine, thanks, Plain_Jane! No headache; no galloping heart rate; feeling pretty mellow actually. But, like you, this enquiring mind here really wants to know...

Medea said...

After someone on Something Awful linked to this blog, I have been reading it for amusement/entertainment. In actuality, many of the comments to this blog are more sad than enteteraining, but I digress...

I find it interesting that many of the posters here find it necessary to jump on this guy. People, *you are hearing one side of the story* - maybe there are several legitimate reasons why this guy wants nothing to do with her. Sorry to say, but it happens. I'm an attractive, fit female from So. Cal. and, yes, it can even happen to 'skinny' girls. Does it mean that all men are assholes or that I need to 'out' the guy by whining on my blog and sicking a group of 'fans' on him? Absolutely not. Frankly, it's immature and veering into stalker-territory.

I've looked at his blog and some of his posts are mildly interesting and/or well-written. I'm also not seeing anything mean-spirited from him - but, I guess we all see what we want to see and we can find offense where we want to find offense. How is saying that he sounds like a 'crackhead' or that he's a 'dick' any different than being dismissed as a 'fat ass' or a 'hog'?

The guy just isn't/wasn't into her. Period. Frankly, attempting to harangue him and marshal the 'troops' to harass him - well, it seems like he got the good end of the deal by not getting into a relationship with her.

It's sad that he's become the whipping boy for your collective angst, insecurities and dissappointments.

Anonymous said...

Medea,

The writer (Emily or Lindsay--I don't know which one it was) was merely asking a question in her post: Had she been hogged? She did link his blog--but it's a BLOG and therefore, anyone on the internet is allowed to read it.

Although he has not shared his opinion on what happened, the fact is, most likely, he didn't end it well, nor did he end it honestly.

How wonderful that these girls can use humor and their writing as a theraputic way of getting over a guy that, LET'S BE HONEST!, probably wasn't nice.

You said it yourself. You are not fat---you have no idea what it is like out there for fat girls.

Jansen said...

Medea -

Of course it's only one side of the story - it's a personal blog.
Sure, Lindsey and Emily could be complete lame fuckwits, but they seem to take responsibility for their shortcomings, and even the guy didn't refute what they said about him.

Frankly, I think you are being far too naive by claiming that he "just wasn't/isn't into her. Period". True, we don't know everything, but why would you come to that conclusion?

Some of your points are well taken, but I for one do not find it at all odd or strange for her to "out him" on her blog, unless of course you mean to say that most people wouldn't be brave enough to do such a thing. Also, I re-read the post and it doesn't sound like she sent the fat troupes out after him, nor is she veering into stalker-territory.

BJ said...

Okay, have visited his blog now, & yes, it's pretentious, sounds like he's trying to sound like a novellist.

How can I see his picture?

fairest said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
pepa said...

buffpuff is more of a writer than fairest.

Nicely said buffpuff.

pepa said...

Medea: "I guess we all see what we want to see"

Yes. You said it and what you "see" in this issue is misplaced. The behavior exhibited here is not unheard of on the blogging community. People blog about their personal lives including love life, and they might or might not get a reaction from their independently-minded readers, what's the big deal??? Is this new to you?

A tip for you: If you're going to complain about alleged/imaginary "whining" try not to say it in a whining manner.

Anonymous said...

~HEY FAIREST~

I really wish you would answer some of the questions that were put to you. I can't think of any other time you are going to have 1000 fat chicks listen to what you have to say (unless you belong to NAAFA, which is highly doubtful). Think of it as a unique opportunity to communicate with an esoteric community.

So:
- Did you read their post on Hogging?
- Do you hog women?
- Do you have sex with fat women often?
- Do you feel that, in general, you are sensitive to a woman's feelings?
- Are you simply prone to exaggeration, or do you sleep with so many women that you actually forget there names while you are in bed with them?
- How much weight have you lost?
- What's your sign?

Sass said...

Did anyone else notice that he took down all of our comments!?

Maybe he was afraid that his friend were going to ask if he realy fucked a fat girl!

Sass said...

Typo! I know really is spelled with 2 L's.

Buffpuff said...

bj said: ...it's pretentious, sounds like he's trying to sound like a novellist.

fairest said...bj, that's a much better definition of pretentious. good job.

Well, Fairest, according to my faithful dictionary here, "pretentious" is closer to my definition, "attempting to impress by affecting greater importance, talent, culture, etc., than is actually possessed". I guess you prefer bj's definition because it could be construed as a compliment. It'll be interesting to see if anyone gets back to you with a palatable definition of "narcissist"

By the way, I found this on your blog, under the heading of Fiction and Non-Fiction, II.

I never walk the streets thinking it's all about me, even though deep in my heart it really could be...

Well it's sure enough all about you now, stud. The question is are you man enough to speak when there's actually somebody listening?

Buffpuff said...

Pepa, cheers for the compliment, pet! You're most kind to say so.

JessiferSeabs said...

Hey Fairest... if you claim to not know the writers of this site, how come there is a link to their blog on your blogroll?

Hmmm... little inconsistancies...

littlem said...

*hurriedly sharpens Buff's and Jessifer's stiletto writing implements, uncorks a St. Emilion Grand Cru for them to let it breathe*

*hands plain_jane some St. John's Wort*

*hands Medea an orange to accompany her heaping helping of enabling bullshyte*

*sits back on chaise to watch the show*

Stacia said...

Why is it that every time someone comes to this blog (or other fat acceptance blogs) and starts complaining about the blogger and/or comments, they ALWAYS mention -- offhandedly, of course -- that they're pretty, thin, attractive, etc?

It's because they think thin people are better than fat people. It doesn't matter if they really are thin or not, they SAY they are thin because they think it means what they wrote is more important, has the moral edge.

It's pathetic.

Anyhow, on the off chance anyone's still reading this far down, I just wish fat girls would STOP thinking their problems with men is all because of their weight. You don't want a man who doesn't like fat chicks. You DEFINITELY don't want a man who thinks you're good enough to sleep with, not good enough to marry. That's a level of skeeze no one deserves to deal with. And because someone's fat doesn't mean they have to "settle" for someone like that.

Every time a fat girl caves into stereotype and settles for a skeeze, fat girls like me have to deal with the results. I've never settled for a jackass (although as mentioned before I was scammed by one) but many people think I will settle, because so many large girls do.

buffpuff said...

Listen to Stacia, folks. She's right and she
rocks.

Anonymous said...

still didnt find the link to this guy's website.

Medea said...

Here we go...

Anonymous: "You said it yourself. You are not fat---you have no idea what it is like out there for fat girls."

Hate to knock down your straw man - but, yeah, I actually do know what it's like. I lost over 100 lbs. doing it the old fashioned way (exercise, eat right, etc.) and have kept it off for over 9 years.

Jansen: "Frankly, I think you are being far too naive by claiming that he "just wasn't/isn't into her. Period". True, we don't know everything, but why would you come to that conclusion?"

Well, it seems just as reasonable as the conclusion reached in the initial post - "...and the unspecified reason was, well, because I am fat." I just read the blog and it sounds like the original poster made an assumption based upon an "unspecified reason." I offer up that the "reason" may have far less to do with her weight than with other issues (e.g. the guy wants to play the field, he's fickle or many other valid reasons why people do not want to have a relationship).

Pepa: "People blog about their personal lives including love life, and they might or might not get a reaction from their independently-minded readers, what's the big deal??? Is this new to you?"

Yeah, it is. Maybe I don't routinely read blogs that are supporting Jr. HS antics; "OMGWTFBBQ, Here's a link to the blog of some dude who dumped me for 'unspecified reasons.'" The story would have been the same and would absolutely have held merit without the link back to his blog. Regardless, it is now a moot point because the link has been removed. Apparently, I am not the only one here who thought that was out of line and/or immature. Thanks for the tip, though. :-)

Littlem and Stacia: Thanks for doing your part to dispel the 'myth' that fat people are embittered 'victims' of the 'dominant culture.'

Anonymous said...

You (commenters) are all boring cry babies. Why are you all fighting with each other? The only person that could add something interesting is fairest and he's apparently hiding or scared or drunk.

Shin said...

Medea,

SUCK ON MY BIG, FAT PANNUS!

buffpuff said...

Medea,

I'm not necessarily in disagreement with you about Fairest's motives for splitting up with whichever one of our twin-webmistresses had the misfortune to get imbroiled with him. I also think fat can make a convenient scapegoat for personal issues of failure in many a fat person's psyche – which is scarcely surprising, given that society routinely blames fat for all manner of ills. We are all – fat and thin – subject to the same propaganda after all. You, for instance, pronounce yourself "attractive" and fit", presumably by virtue of following a healthy diet and taking regular exercise. Many fat people actually do likewise but I'd hazard a guess you wouldn't consider them to be attractive or fit...hence your condescending attitude and high moral tone.

Tell me, what kind of fat girl were you? Did you consider yourself to be an "embittered 'victim' of the 'dominant culture' " before you did the decent thing, ditched the unsightly flab and kept it off, by golly!? Would you, in your pre-svelte days, have felt any kinship with any of us pathetic, angst-ridden whingers? Have you ever been rejected by someone who claims to care for you, (as I have been), on the grounds of, "I'm too much of a body person when it comes to women", then told, as if you should be flattered, "but last time I saw you I really wanted to shag you"? (I told him where to go in spades, incidentally). Were you, in point of fact, even old enough to date before you lost that 100lbs?

I'm one of a handful of advocates of Size Acceptance you'll find posting on this blog so please don't try the old "my own inherent self-esteem led me to lose the weight, you losers obviously don't have any, which is why you're so whiney and still fat" tack with me. I don't think Lindsey/Emily was hallucinating when she saw mean-spiritedness in the following:-

"...the trainer, Hoyt-Schermerhorn, (I name employees of the gym after express stops, because they are the people who deal with multiple trainers) is training the big big girl, A train. A train, who's never had a man commit to her in her life. A train, who's Mexican sexual partners make her wax her pubic hair. Oh god, it's so sad sad sad. It's sadder than Kerouac being broke in a lunch-o-mat, or whatever those places are called we're supposed to miss not being in Times Square. It's so sad. It's sadder than the Kerouac exhibit in the museum. It's sadder than anything Holden Caufield ever had to be sad about. She's like a Madison Avenue bus, A train, that's how sad she is. Nothing about her is phony.

"Maybe I'm being too hard on him. What can he do for A train? Can he feasibly work her core? First the core would have to located and that'd be no easy task. So she does what he tells her, she smiles and smiles, she breathes heavy, big beads of sweat slither down her cheeks, she dreams of a Milky Way she stashes underneath her hope pillows. A train has every Precious Moments doll from the day of her birth through her birthday."


Boy, Fairest likes the word "sad" even more than you do, doesn't he? Come to think of it he's pretty condescending too. Hey, here's a thought, maybe you guys should hook up if he ever comes out of hiding?

Sheryl said...

Be a man Fairest and say something!

Anonymous said...

You know he is still reading this. What a coward!

fairest said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...

~HEY FAIREST~

I really wish you would answer some of the questions that were put to you. I can't think of any other time you are going to have 1000 fat chicks listen to what you have to say (unless you belong to NAAFA, which is highly doubtful). Think of it as a unique opportunity to communicate with an esoteric community.

So:
- Did you read their post on Hogging?
- Do you hog women?
- Do you have sex with fat women often?
- Do you feel that, in general, you are sensitive to a woman's feelings?
- Are you simply prone to exaggeration, or do you sleep with so many women that you actually forget there names while you are in bed with them?
- How much weight have you lost?
- What's your sign?

JessiferSeabs said...

AND WHY IS THERE A LINK TO HER BLOG ON YOUR WEBSITE IF YOU DON'T KNOW WHO SHE IS?!?!?!

I mean really. If you're going to lie about it, at least delete it from your blogroll.

Anonymous said...

Inquiring minds want to know: Do you fuck fatties all the time?

fairest said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
JessiferSeabs said...

Because you hurt and degraded somebody that we respect, admire, relate to, and sympathize with.

And that means... in a way, you hurt each and every one of us.

Anonymous said...

He never answered any of our questions.

pissed said...

Fairest!!! Why did you take down that lame comment you left? I came back today to answer it, and it was gone!
What the hell?

Anonymous said...

If you go to his site now, his last post says his sex life sucks. hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

I hope he never gets bootie again.

hahahah

mwah aha hahah

Anonymous said...

fairest.wordpress.com

Technicolour Nightmare said...

Aw, I wanted to read his blog and see what everyone was going on about! Can someone tell me? Please?

Miss Michele said...

now he's got an entry up there that goes on about his "rotund" experience last week. he's such an asshole. blast him. fairest.wordpress.com

Answer us!!! said...

Fairest, you never answered any of our questions, and you take no responsibility for your actions.

To answer one of your questions:
narcissism (närsĭs'ĭzəm) , Freudian term, drawn from the Greek myth of Narcissus, indicating an exclusive self-absorption. In psychoanalysis, narcissism is considered a normal stage in the development of children. It is known as secondary narcissism when it occurs after puberty, and is said to indicate a libidinal energy directed exclusively toward oneself. A degree of narcissism is considered normal, where an individual has a healthy self-regard and realistic aspirations. The condition becomes pathological, and diagnosable as a personality disorder, when it significantly impairs social functioning. An individual with narcissistic personality disorder tends to harbor an exaggerated sense of his own self-importance and uniqueness. He is often excessively occupied with fantasies about his own attributes and potential for success, and usually depends upon others for reinforcement of his self-image. A narcissist tends to have difficulties maintaining healthy interpersonal relationships, stemming largely from a lack of empathy and a propensity for taking advantage of others in the interest of self-aggrandizement.

Anonymous said...

Did you girls see that he dismantled his blog!

Ari said...

I agree that bigger guys are hot. They don't tend to agree though.