Everyones favorite tall skinny girl Laura made my day and didn't even realize it. I know I comment on her a lot on this blog, and while she doesn't know I actually have a blog, I think the ribbing is fine. (Get it? Ribbing! Because I can see her ribs!).
Laura, for those of you who don't know, is my 5'11, 125lb., friend who drives me crazy on a daily basis because she complains how fat she is and how she shouldn't have put non fat milk in her coffee because, "it's really just a waste of calories." Why am I friends with her? Not sure, refer to previous posts.
So, Laura made my day when she emailed me pictures of her mother when she was our age. And guess what? She looked just like Laura! And guess what else? She don't look like that any mo! She's fat now. And guess what that means? Laura's got nowhere to go but UP!
I can just imagine it now. Laura and I when we're 60 years old...me either bed ridden or normal looking, depending on how my life actually turns up and Laura...FAT! I almost want to invest in a time machine so I can make this happen pronto!
I emailed Laura back saying something fake like, "Oh, wow, you guys are like twins!" When really I wanted to scream from the roof tops:
"You're totally going to be a fat ass like me! HAhahahahaha"
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25 comments:
You are not mean. I would totally do the same thing. Shame on her for being that way around you!
Don't think of it as schadenfreude; think of it as... as....
Well, don't overthink it. Just enjoy it.
lol i hate it when people do that to me as well. they are already twiggy lookin and each day they complain about looking fat. but the truth is, as women, we ALL feel fat on certain days no matter what. so i just shrug it off.
My mom looked just like me when she was my age...well, except she weighed 95 pounds and I weigh 195.
I used to be a Laura. I was pissed in a size three! Wanted, nay NEEDED to be a size one. Crazy thing was I looking at some other Lindsy Lohan Boobless B.... feeling not good enough.
I just turned 31, had my first baby, and gained 100 lbs. Somehow I'm OK-- Happier even. Ironic, no?
You don't know that she's going to be fat.
Contrary to popular belief, being a fatass is not just "genetic" and you can control what you eat.
Since she's so concerned with being thin, and maybe her mother wasn't, she'll probably take more precautions and not turn out that way.
I've yet to meet a girl who wasn't convinced they needed to lose weight, no matter how thin they already are.
That's probably exactly why Laura does and says those things even around you, her fat friend...she KNOWS she looks just like her mom and could end up just like her mom so she's got a food obsession too, it's just the other way around. I was the same way when I wore a size 2...pics of my mom when she was younger next to pics of me are pretty uncanny. But my mom has been morbidly obese my whole life and I've always struggled with food so I was afraid of ending up like her...and I thought I was "controlling it" by being anorexic. So I always thought I needed to keep getting skinnier. And here I am now, 50 lbs overweight and struggling like hell to stay away from where she is, so I complain about my own weight even when I'm with people bigger than myself and even though it probably pisses them off. It's nothing personal and I'm not trying to be a bitch, I just have my own demons to battle...so, don't let Laura get to you, she's probably just battling her own demons too. :)
I do this all the time in Florida. I sit on the beach with my friend all day and watch the elderly perambulate. We see leathery 65+ women strolling along and we KNOW which bodies we'll have when we're their age.
For instance my friend will be the "barrel" - the old lady with the nice legs but total barrel shape from the gunt up (cuz she's got a total swimmer's body - inverted triangle). Tits indistinguishable from ass indistinguishable from gut.
I will be the "all over largesse" - big and tall everywhere. Big face. Sequoia legs. Giant hands and feet. Humongo ass. Saggy tits out to here.
But we'll both be resplendent widows in pricey Israeli swinsuits with matching wraps, designer flip flops, frosty blonde astronaut-wife hair impervious to the wind, perfectly long / hard / shiny mani-pedi in shocking colours, facelifts courtesy of plastic surgeons who do "good work", dripping with diamonds, and bronzed, BRONZED. Oh yes, it's all about the tan a la "Magda" in There's Something About Mary.
But there'll we'll be, prisoners of gravity, stuck with our bodies, and we'll have packed on the age-weight like our moms did. But we'll be workin that beach, oh yes. Viva la Floride.
This is a weird thing. Because at 230 pounds I felt fat and got really mad at my skinny friends who would go on about how fat they are.
At 160 pounds and a size 8/10 for over a year now, I still feel fat, and sometimes I can't really see the difference in the mirror. Seventy pounds gone, and somedays I can't tell.
If I ever get to 140 I guess I'll still have fat days. I'm just saying, I've sort of seen this from both sides now and it doesn't necessarily go away.
she wont be fat because the reason she prob counts calories is because she doesnt want to be like her mother.
I HAVE A QUESTION FOR EVERYONE--
if you are happy being fat why are you saying you are mean because u think ur friend might become fat? if you was happy fat you would be like my friend is going to be fat and not think anything of it, but u are labelling it with negativity. therefore u know fat is wrong.
I HAVE A QUESTION FOR YOU ANONYMOUS
If you are so perfect, why are you stalking a fatty blog and leaving anonymous comments about how fat is wrong? They're hating on skinny people and that's wrong to you even though you are hating on a fat person: "therefore u know fat is wrong."
What's it to you, anyway? Did you get here by googling "fat chicks" or something?
Why aren't you off counting calories or at the gym feeling smug and superior?
Nah, I kind of do the same thing. My sister is really, really fat (like over 300 pounds and really doesn't hold it well - she looks much heavier than my 250 and she has almost a foot on me in height).
When I tell people my sister is fat, it is usually with some glee and perhaps an evil chuckle. Why? Because I've always been fat, and growing up my sister was the total twig. I mean really, really skinny, and she would always taunt me to no end about me being fat, in a really vicious kind of way. (Gotta love older siblings). Then she hit puberty....and frankly, I think it's kharma.
I don't think I'm mean. I just think I might have a slightly sick sense of humor, but otherwise, I think we're all normal.
As for your question anon:
1) I don't think everyone here is happy with being fat, and even those of us deep within size acceptance have days where we want to be "normal." We are human, after all, and society isn't exactly welcoming us with open arms.
2) Just because I might be okay with being fat doesn't mean that my former skinny friend would ever be okay with being fat. And being fat does have its drawbacks (see society comment above). It doesn't mean that I think that being fat is a negative thing, but it doesn't mean that people who become fat are ever going to feel that way. Hence the feeling mean, because the other person might never be anything but miserable being fat.
And for the love of god, it does not take that much effort to type out the word you. Geez.
Maybe Laura grouses about the skim milk calories because she knows what her fate is. I have a skinny friend who says her older relatives were the same way: thin in youth and porked out in the later years. You gotta be constantly vigilant!
Haha...not likely. Most women who are obsessed like Laura who I know end up slim well into their 70's.
Also, I would say it's MUCH more important to be slim and in your best shape in your youth. If I pork up a bit after 50, I'm not going to sweat it. But to waste the best years of my life out of shape would be really sad.
I'm not the Laura being reffered to, just a fellow blogger.
I too find it somewhat amusing. My sister was always the skinny one, and now she had 2 kids, and is the same size as me.
She feels bad about the way she used to treat me and has apologized.
Now we fat-shop together, and talk about ways to be more healthy. It's great fun.
Karma will always come back to you.
I wish my sister were fat again. We would have so much fun together. She used to be, after her first child. Then she got skinny when she got divorced, but became fat again after her 3rd child (2nd with new hubby). I liked her much better when she was fat, I realize that especially now that I'm "the fat sister"..it sucks. But, she's anorexic and I've been there too so at least I know she's still mentally disturbed...LOL.
I have a "friend" named Laura and she is a bich. And she has big ears.
Hi..
This is totally off the subject of your post, but I'd like to get your thoughts on this site I stumbled onto..
www.myfatspouse.com
Thanks.
Personally I think you're in luck. In certain parts of NYC this:
"Oh, wow, you guys are like twins!"
can easily be interpreted as this:
"You're totally going to be a fat ass like me! HAhahahahaha"
So not only can you have it both ways, but judging by how you've described some of her behavior in the past, you can argue that it's self-defense -- and if you're mean, you're no meaner than the rest of them. (The rest of us? :D)
I agree with what randomfatgirl said earlier about your friend Laura having personal demons and obessions. I would go on to say that it seems that Laura has something not going as she likes in her life - there has to be some dysfunction somewhere - and she's taking it out on her self-image.
I think that if you dig deeper, the real reasons behind Laura's personal demons will emerge. I wouldn't take her comments too personally, she obviously has problems.
This has nothing to do with your post, but I had to say it somewhere, even anonymously, and thought you guys might get a kick out of it: I was at a voice lesson a couple days ago, and my voice teacher was telling me for the zillionth time how I have to lose weight in order to get hired for singing gigs. And then she was like, "Have you thought about that gastric bypass?" And I said, "I asked my doctor about it and she said I'm not big enough to have it done, that I should just diet." And my teacher was like, "WHAT? YOU'RE not big enough for gastric bypass??? You should find a new doctor who'll approve it." I seriously wanted to jump out the window. It sucked.
I read the home page for www.myfatspouse.com. It struck me as a site for people who want to complain that they're married to "fat, lazy, pigs," where they know that they'll have a sympathetic audience.
Anonymous 5:56, It sounds like you need a new voice teacher.
Hmmm. Yes, Laura obviously has her own demons/issues. Yes, people who fall within the socially acceptable size range frequently feel fat and moan about it - nay they are encouraged to do so, (see previous post about anorexic looking role models), by the media and society at large. (Anything which keeps us forking out for diet books, gym subscriptions, needless cosmetic surgery etc. right?)
BUT... and here's my theory - the main reason Laura does this is probably because of our lovely webmistress's attitude towards her own fat. Sure she's funny and self-deprecating about it but she also actively doesn't like it. This sends Laura the message that it's okay to moan about fat, (even imaginary fat), in her company.
However, I think it would also be fair to say that however fat Laura feels, she also knows she isn't. She can buy her clothes from any shop she likes; her friend can't. She sees pictures of her own likeness touted as "normal" "healthy" and "ideal" pretty much everywhere she goes; the only time her friend sees a likeness of herself is in the "before" shot next to the "after" one in a diet ad. And unless she's blind, Laura certainly knows she isn't fat by comparison.
Personally, if it was me, I'd tell her (pleasantly but firmly); "Laura, enough. I'm fat. You're not. If you want to whinge about your body's imagined shortcomings, try doing it with someone who wants to hear it. It's annoying and insensitive and I'd really appreciate it if you stopped."
Trust me, it'll work.
Good advice, BuffPuff, but it doesn't always work. I once had to end a friendship with a woman who, among other completely narcissistic behaviors, was completely incapable of not a) whining about her weight (she had exploded all the way up to a size 6) or b) constantly including peoples sizes in their descriptions ("She was really obese. Not like you....") as if that had anything to do with what she wanted to tell me.
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