Friday, August 04, 2006

I Will Be Their Rat!


To further my ongoing game plan of trying everything and anything in this battle of the bulge, I will next try to become a lab rat. I will grow ears on my chest and toes on my hands in order to get in on this experiment. (Yes, ears on my chest...but no WLS yet for me!)

I read this article and feel it's letter writing time.

Dear Scientists at the Scripps Research Institute,

I'm Emily. I'm fat. I would not like to be so fat. I'm also not that afraid of needles. I'm also just a short drive down to you. Sign me up.

Love,

Emily
Los Angeles, California

Yes, I want to get vaccinated for obesity. If I could, I would like to wake up tomorrow morning and be thin. Yes, I know it doesn't work like that, but let's pretend.

If you could wake up tomorrow morning and be thin, would you? Because I would. Yeah, it would be scary and none of my clothes would fit, but I'm down for a shopping spree!

39 comments:

Anonymous said...

I'm not sure I would want to be thin if I woke up tomorrow morning. I'm so used to me being this way, that being a different size would be odd, even though I hate my fat.

Anonymous said...

Actually, when I went through Army basic and AIT, this is very much what a lot of us experienced.

We hadn't been allowed to wear ANY civilian clothes for 9 weeks basic + first 8 weeks of AIT, so by our first weekend pass a lot of us were completely different sizes. My only pair of jeans kept falling down around my ankles and I had to use 550 cord as a belt just to make it to the mall and buy another pair of pants.

Took a while to get used to definitely. I hung onto my old clothes for over a year before I realized I was just wasting my closet space.

Anonymous said...

I was reading the comments on the blogoversery and I was wondering something: yes, there were some mean comments. Was the lashing out directed at those who left them specifically, or in general at all skinny girls? Because I've noticed a general prejudice against skinny girls. We're not all anorexic, you know.

Kate217 said...

If I could wake up tomorrow morning and be thin? You bet your sweet bippy, I would - just to shut up the freakin' hate mongers. I'm sure they'd find some other reason to hate me, but at least it would be a change.

MacQueen, for my part, any animosity was for those who feel they have the right to belittle people they don't know based on nothing but a physical attribute. My hating someone just because she happens to be slender/skinny would be no different than what they do. Although I will admit to a bit of jealousy of those who don't have deal with daily hatred based on their size, I bear them no animosity unless and until they tell me that all I need to do to be socially acceptable is "stop stuffing my face and get some exercise."

Even if every fat person in the history of mankind person were that way for the reasons the haters insist they are, what gives said haters the right to tell every fat person that his/her priorities have to match the haters' to be deemed morally and socially acceptable?

Denise said...

If there were no adverse physical consequences, I'd do it in a second. I can't even imagine everything I'd be able to do with the time, energy, and effort that I currently spend on trying to get smaller and healthier!

Gina said...

God, yes. YESYESYES! I'd probably take a week off and just look at myself int eh mirror. And Shop. Lots of shopping. And go places with my thin friends and flirt with men who would certainly find me attractive. And when I got back to work, I'd listen to my boss talk about how 'out of control' one of her fat acquaintances is, and revel in the knowledge that she wouldn't be talking about me indirectly. And I'd go to my mother's house after work and give her a hug and soak up all the love and acceptance she'd give me since I was thin, and then I'd go home and do the same to my husband. And I'd have sex with the lights on. On Top. And I'd be confident enough to tell him what I wanted because I'd be able to *afford* to say it. I'd be hot; of COURSE i could expect better sex. And then I'd probably take a bath and feel how different even just water feels if I was thin. (I imagine everything feels different. Better.)
*sigh*

FatMom said...

Hell yeah! I'd like to wake up tomorrow and be thin again! No clothes fit? Who cares?! I'd walk naked to the clothing store!

Anonymous said...

Im betting the trial in humans doesn't show as good of a result. I have had the part of my stomach that produces ghrelin removed, and while it sure does curb your hunger, that isn't the cause of weight loss.

And Gina, girl, even if you are overweight, there is NO reason you shouldn't expect all those things NOW.

Anonymous said...

Dani, right on.

Gina, here's the thing about being thinner and better sex - there is not necessarily a correlation. You see, when you are thin, extremely good-looking men hit on you and they turn out to be TERRIBLE in bed because they have been brought up to think they don't have to make an effort because they are good-looking.

(Do not ask me how I know the above, because I conducted the relevant experiments in college, and I think my mom reads this blog.)

On topic:

Did I read that they fed the rats a low-calorie, LOW energy diet? What's the point of being thin if you can't run around and cause trouble? Just have to lie around all day looking like some heroin chic model but not getting paid like they do because you don't have ruthless bone structure? Useless.

And would I get to keep ALL my muscle tone? And would they guarantee that my skin wouldn't sag?

And if they think they've conquered the ghrelin thing, why can't they do something about the resistin (hormone secreted by adipose tissue theoretically contributing to insulin resistance) thing?

I've gone from whip to big girl so many times, most of my lower-body clothes have elastic. (I like Eileen Fisher.)

At the end of the day, I guess I'd ask them if my hormone profile was such that Scripps can do what Tae Bo cannot.

(IMO, this is going to be one of those things that works for some people but not all people who want to be thinner, because everyone's hormone profile is different.)

I think I'd be one of those subjects they'd throw out of the lab, saying "She's too demanding. Get her out of here."

So one of you would have to sneak my injections for me. (I keed! I keed!)

Guess I'm the ambivalence poster child for this one, huh?

Anonymous said...

I would do it in a heartbeat.

Anonymous said...

I would first want to know EVERY side effect or possible side effect of the injection. So many diet pills and the such have been now discovered as being dangerous, (wls being very dangerous as well)
I guess if it was harmless, I wouldn't mind, but I would first exhaust all other possibilities.
JMHO

Anonymous said...

what would you do about all the skin that hangs down when you lose weight quickly? Ya'll would look like a human sharpei.

Miz Lilly said...

well, i'm with all of you. i would kill to wake up tomorrow and be thin. the thing is, i think i have found the closest thing there is. i have never done a "diet" before, even though i lost 100# on my own over the last 2 years. 10 weeks ago, i began using medifast. i have lost 41#. it isn't over night, but it feels good to wake up every morning and be thinner.

my ex had a bypass. my loss on this plan is not terribly far off her rate of loss. but i still go to bed every night hoping i will wake up and not be morbidly obese. and i still flinch every time i take jeans out of the dryer, thinking they will never fit me. i wish i could just go to sleep and wake up whenever the work is done. although... that's what got me this fat.

Anonymous said...

I am tempted to try to explain these things, but I can't. So I just say: when the obesity vaccination comes along those who refuse it will be my heroes. Or, to be accurate (if the word's still accepted; I dunno), heroines.

I understand the desire to be normal almost completely. Almost. I really do. And I never will be, because if I could be normal instantly I'd be so sure I've somehow been right all along that I'd die before I undertook its foolishness. Sure there is no normal, or if there is it sucks.

To hell with normal. Be fat, smart, funny and whatever else you should be, whatever feels right when you're alone with yourself and no one's acting like a magazine you should read.

Whatever that means.

Anonymous said...

Ah Mikey, I just wish I could have stayed fat and healthy, but healthy just wasn't happening. For those of you who can stay healthy and fat, you knock yourselves out.

Anonymous said...

DANI- if healthy and fat doesn't work for you or isn't your thing, that's fine. I mean no insult to anyone who loses weight for health or happiness, just hope the (life-quality) gain is truly theirs.

I mean no pain to anyone, just offer a little support and maybe a laugh or two along the way. And I like round women.
Not such a bad thing, huh?

Anonymous said...

what would you do about all the skin that hangs down when you lose weight quickly? Ya'll would look like a human sharpei.

My thoughts entirely. Middle-age and gravity not withstanding, I kind of like my assets where they are; so I think I'll pass on the vaccine, thank you kindly. Besides I'm not a rat in any case, and I'm generally opposed to animal testing.

Dani, I guess it all depends on how you define healthy. The way I look at it is this: if I'm putting, for the most part, good, nutritious foodstuffs into my body and keeping that body active, then my health simply has to be benefiting.

Yes, rigorously denying myself certain other foodstuffs and exercising more than I do would cause me to lose weight, but that's not my objective, which is to keep things in reasonable working order. A brisk walk around my neighborhood I can manage most days with ease – but a trip to the nearest affordable gym, when I don't drive, costs me time, energy and money I'd rather save for more enjoyable pursuits.

What I do is sustainable, allows for the odd guilt-free blowout, and, more importantly, ensures I stay lively, mobile and sane.

Anonymous said...

my experience is fat women are almost invariably better in bed than skinny women (once they've realised that i really don't mind them being fat - can be a little stiff and awkward before that). No idea why this is though. Might just be fat feels more comfy than banging hip-bones together (i lack any padding of my own).
On the pill thing, i personally try and avoid taking synthetic drugs of any kind unless completely necessary. That said, i don't have any physical attributes i particularly feel the need to change, so maybe i would feel differently if i did.
Each to their own.

Anonymous said...

No, I worked in retail and the reason there are fewer larger sized clothes is because fewer are bought. They buy according to bell curve, so if an item runs XL, L, M, S, XS, there will be one XL, one XS, two L, etc.

Plus, a lot of stores (A&F, Anthropologie, etc.) stock heavily towards the smaller sizes because fat people wearing their clothing doesn't fit the image the store wants to portray.

Anonymous said...

I don't think I would take the vaccine. I don't really trust medical science to help with being overweight. If you look at the treatments now, it's pills like speed or the stuff that give you oily anal discharges, or surgery that sucks out organs you need, or liposuction... and I don't even want to think about liposuction.

But I'd love to have some help. While I gained weight on the famous Pizza & Burgers Diet, for the last several years I've made huge strides in eating healthier, I stopped drinking (lots of calories there) and I even exercise regularly. It's kept me relatively healthy but I don't lose weight.

Honestly, I've got a nice doctor right now, but he has no medical advice to give me. To top it off, if I eat too little I get exhausted, dizzy, and lethargic... and no one knows why! There's no medical reason for it.

I guess I'd really have to be convinced this vaccine would help before I'd even trust it.

Anonymous said...

Plus, a lot of stores (A&F, Anthropologie, etc.) stock heavily towards the smaller sizes because fat people wearing their clothing doesn't fit the image the store wants to portray.

Which. IMO, only goes to show what a bunch of short-sighted, bigoted arses they are.

Anonymous said...

The one thing I would really miss about being fat is that it's like having a built-in asshole detector. In general, if someone is a jerk to me simply because I'm fat, and assumes they know why I'm fat, I know that's someone who's generally going to be shallow and judgemental about other things, too. It's nice to know that right away about people.

Anonymous said...

"Plus, a lot of stores (A&F, Anthropologie, etc.) stock heavily towards the smaller sizes because fat people wearing their clothing doesn't fit the image the store wants to portray."

It's funny... I find the opposite to be true. I am very small and usually can only find sizes that are 6 and above. I realize a size six is not big at all, but actually more often I find 12's and 16's. I attribute this to the fact that the majority of Americans are overweight so it makes more economic sense to stock in larger sizes.

Anonymous said...

macqueen - in response to your first question:

No, I do not have a prejudice towards people of any size/color/age/etc., but I do dislike people when they're assholes like the Tucker Max people. Why be kind and respectful to people who haven't acted like that for the majority of their stay? If you don't know the Tucker Max problem you can check out the blog posts and the following comments about them.

Anonymous said...

Hell no I would'nt want to wake up thin. I would go into shock. Becides, I can't afford a whole new wardrobe now.
This whole vaccine for obesity is scary to me. As a culture, we rely too heavily on pharmaceutical companies give us "the magic pill" that will make everything all right.

Anonymous said...

Macqueen - I worked in those stores and often processed stock. I know, for a fact, that they stock heavier towards the 2-6 range than the 10-12. And the reason, as said in the management meetings, is that fat people don't fit their image.

Your perception might just be because people always feel like they can't find their sizes, but stocking, meanwhile, is still operating on the same system.

Anonymous said...

don't you all think that your bad eating habits would still nullify the fat vaccine? There's only so much an injection can do.

Anonymous said...

anon at 2:27pm: "don't you all think that your bad eating habits would still nullify the fat vaccine? There's only so much an injection can do. "

Well, I would just take another injection.. duh..

Anonymous said...

Anon 2:27-

Lovely generalization!

Anonymous said...

If it safe and affective vaccine for obesity is great. Sure, it can be abused, but so is the diet. I think it will help those that have no other option.

Katie Taylor said...

Oh god - I spent hours and hours when I was a kid coming up with elaborate storylines about waking up thin, and used to use them to lull myself to sleep. It amazes me how I never got tired of it. Sometimes it was the result of an alien experiment, sometimes I somehow managed to pee the fat off or unzip it and remove it - sometimes I spent all night running in my sleep and sometimes it just randomly happened. I agree w/Denise - I'd like to have all that time back. I swear to god, women would rule the world if we could stop thinking about our asses.

So anyway, yeah - I'd totally go for the 'wake up thin' deal, as long as it could happen by magic and come with no bad side effects. Then I could start fretting about my age.

Anonymous said...

"The one thing I would really miss about being fat is that it's like having a built-in asshole detector. In general, if someone is a jerk to me simply because I'm fat, and assumes they know why I'm fat, I know that's someone who's generally going to be shallow and judgemental about other things, too. It's nice to know that right away about people."

Nail. Hammer. Bang.

Anon 6:21, please take a well-deserved bow.

Anonymous said...

My concern about something like this is that it seems like it would only curb appetite rather than directly tamper with calorie absorption or metabolism (making it a lot safer than certain alternatives, or at least it would seem). Of course, the problem with an appetite-curbing injection is that in my experience many people, especially those with certain types of disordered eating, will eat quantities that aren't directly related to how hungry they are, or will even eat just because something tastes or looks or smells good. (It'd be interesting to provide these ghrelin rats, the ones being fed the lo-cal lo-energy diet, with some particularly nice fattening morsels as an alternative foodstuff and see if they still lost weight.)

Anonymous said...

"Stacia said: To top it off, if I eat too little I get exhausted, dizzy, and lethargic... and no one knows why! There's no medical reason for it."

The reason for this is that if you eat too little food you become undernourished and you won't have enough calories(energy) to properly function, it happens to every person if they don't eat enough food.

But in response to the question (I am going to alter it from 'thin' to 'body I want') No I wouldn't want to wake up with my ideal body, I really enjoy the journey of getting there on my own.


-SDave

Obesio said...

I would love to wake up with my ideal body, but I would then hate myself for not having the fortitude to get it through diet and exercise. But I still would take it.

Anonymous said...

But Obesio, that's the thing. They DON'T say you're going to wake up with your ideal body with this thing. They just say you're going to wake up thin.

That could mean skinny with no muscle tone, AND cellulite. I mean, did you SEE the episode of Extreme Makeover with that guy that lost all that weight and still had to have surgery to get rid of all that skin, and the doctors weren't sure they were going to let him have the surgery because he was so anemic from his weight loss program?

Grisly.

Unknown said...

Hell yeah! That way I would end up only with my crazy mind to deal instead of crazy mind plus fat issues.

Of course, if you ask how much would you be willing to risk to be thin tomorrow? Not much. I wouldn't use a vaccine that hasnt been around for at least several years. I wouldn't get surgery. Í wouldn't eat a tapeworm.

Anonymous said...

How sad some of these posts are - yet how more sad it is that they don't realise that being thin won't make you hot nor pretty nor shapely nor attractive, necessarily - if you aren't already!

Anonymous said...

I want you to all go back & read the article properly, please.

It says: "...Mice given shots of the vaccine ate just as much as untreated mice but had "about a 20 or 30 percent reduction _in weight gain_," Janda said..." (my underlines)

Now, I ask you, why were any of the mice gaining weight? Were they still growing? If they were fully grown, why were they gaining weight when: "...the mice were fed low-fat, low-energy diets..."?!

It was a reduction in weight _gain_!

Are you all gaining weight?

If so, if your weight _gain_ was reduced by 20%-30%, would that make the "Obesity Vaccine" worth it, for you?!

My size seems to have stabilised for the last year or two....