I like to eat in private. I'd rather eat by myself than with people and I prefer not to eat out at all. I know it's all psychological and I know that it's not healthy. But, I'm fat. And as a fat girl, I'm super uncomfortable eating in public. There are so many things you can't do with your food in public. You can't:
--Make a buffet of sauces for you to dip each bite into
--Wear a shirt you don't care about spilling on
--Get things on your face and not care
--Prepare your food the way you want to
I'm the queen of take-out. I'll pick up food a couple times a week and bring it home. There, I usually lay a large towel on my bed, put on a crappy old tshirt, get out my "eating tray", prepare my sauces, make sure I have a cold drink, find my remote and get down to business.
Sometimes, I wish a therapist could observe this craziness, but then again, it defeats the purpose of loving to eat alone. And on those occasions when I do go out to eat, I'll usually pick at my food, eat about 1/4 of it and then bring the rest home and follow the ritual mentioned above.
I had been at my old job for such a long time that I really got into a comfortable place where I didn't care who saw me eating what. But, that's not the same with my new job, especially since I'm now in a cubicle next to a woman named Beverly.
I love, love, love Beverly. Once, when I was having a bad day I almost asked her for a hug. She's awesome and a motherly figure. And, she always asks me what I'm eating. She must have some sort of bionic ears/nose because she can hear/smell everything. And every time I'm enjoying my lunch, she says something.
"That smells good"
"Let me come and see what you're eating"
It's almost too much to handle. And the thing is, I could go eat someplace more secluded, but if I did that would mean I'm taking traditional lunch hours and I would have to stay later at work. (my boss allows me to skip lunch, eat quickly and leave an hour early)
So, I'm going to have to work on this eating out stuff, because:
1. The food here is pretty good
2. It's only Beverly
3. I can't be this crazy anymore.