Wednesday, September 06, 2006

Tell Us...

We know why we're fat, but, why are YOU fat?*

* If you're not fat, don't bother telling us.


Anonymous said...

I got hit with the fat stick when I was a kid

Anonymous said...

Because food was meant to be eaten!!

pudge said...

i love food too much. as much as i whine about having extra weight, i'd rather live with that than give up food.

JessiferSeabs said...

Because I spent like 5 years eating and drinking everything that i wanted, while being depressed abotu getting fatter, which made me eat and drink more, which made me get too fat for my clothes, which made me have to buy new clothes, which I couldn't afford so I put them on my credit card, which made me wrack up debt, which made me depressed, so I ate more, which made me fatter, which made me need more clothes, which made me put them on my credit card....

Any questions?

Thora said...

I'm fat because I spent 15+ years of my life in an insulin resistant, major depressive epidsode-ridden haze, all the while wondering what was wrong with me and why was I too broken to fix it.

Depression led to overeating and not having the energy to get out of bed; insulin resistance made it difficult to lose weight during breaks in the depressive spells.

For each depressive episode I went through, I gained between 20 and 50 pounds.

Now that I've got my mood issues and insulin resistance properly medicated, the only thing left to do is get physically healthy.

Anonymous said...

Cuz I got married and stopped caring. It's true. As a woman, you pork out once you get the ring. You stop caring and you cease to be hot.

Anonymous said...

I am fat because society is making me fat.

Anonymous said...

I am overweight because my body is predisposed to being this way. My whole family is fat. No matter what we do, we are all big (although some are bigger than others). Diets don't work for us.

Anonymous said...

We are fat because we don't excercize. We love the junk and it keeps the junk in our trunk. We love take away food. Nasty! Yummy!

AnaBell said...

I'm fat because I'm the queen of procrastination. And when the deadlines are over me I get stressed and start eating instead of start doing what I need to do.
I'm fat because I'm ashamed of being seen exercising by my family since that would mean I recognize I'm fat. And I'm most certainly not. The 80 pounds extra won't be seen by anyone until I say so. huh?
I'm fat because if I eat something yummy I continue eating it until it's over because I have this stupid mentality of "I will never eat something like that again".
I'm fat because losing weight would mean all those people that called me fat (or related words) were right.
Damn! I need therapy.

Anonymous said...

I got fat at around 6 months and stayed fat for 40 years. Why?
I love food-especially sweets, I'd go so far as to call it an addiction! I also like to exercise, but it wasn't enough to keep me from staying fat until the last two years.
I hated veggies.
I liked to eat cans of icing like pudding, or use it as dip.
I love cheese and pancakes (not together).
I had no portion control.
I also think that genetics has something to do with it, but genetics didn't get me to 300lb plus pounds.
I also think psychology had something to do with it. But ultimately it was my food choices.


Buffpuff said...

Initially, a combo of: heredity; enforced dieting from childhood, bad/erratic eating habits in between periods of dieting, (ranging from skipping meals to overeating, picked up during my 15 year dieting period); long-term, debilitating, non-weight-related illness sustained while living a highly active lifestyle and, of late, encroaching middle age and an increasingly more sedentary lifestyle, (though I've been working on that). I also hate the gym, despise every team sport in existence and have always liked food more than I cherished the notion of being thin.

buffpuff said...

...oh, and Anon at 11.17, I've never ceased caring, in or out of a relationship. In fact I consider looking as gorgeous as humanly possible my bounden duty as a proponent of fat acceptance.

Anonymous said...

Where did KATE go? Why is Kate fat?

Anonymous said...

Bring back Kate.

Heather said...

There are so many things.

When I was younger, I considered anything over 110 "fat". Since 110 was not a healthy weight for me, my body tended to gravitate towards the 115-120 range, which meant that I was constantly starting yet another diet (super low cal, of course). I'm sure that contributed to my metabolism issues (sorry, no studies at hand to back up this point, but even if I did have some, I'm sure the haters would argue against them!).

I also used to live on a farm, where I did not exercise but was very active (riding horses, cleaning stalls, carryng huge buckets of water and haybales). Therefore, when I wasn't dieting, I could eat what I wanted and it didn't affect me as much. Now I have a desk job. I would have to spend at least 90 min every day (or more) in the gym in order to get the same workout that I used to. I quite simply don't have that kind of time or energy and the 45 min every 2 or 3 days that I do get to the gym simply don't boost my metabolism enough to compensate for my appetite.

In addition to not working out as much as my body needs, I am also very sporadic when it comes to eating healthy. I can fact, I love to cook. I also enjoy eating healthy things. But nowadays it seems that it's just so much easier to hit Burger King or Taco Bell for dinner.

I love food. Lots of it. It doesn't matter whether I am eating something healthy or not, I like volume. I have always been this way. When I wasn't dieting, I could really pack it away. It seems to run in my family. My mom, my sister, my aunts....we can eat as much (if not more than) most guys. Luckily for them, they are all still slender and healthy and NONE of them exercise (although they are involved with the horses, which means that they are very active).

I have an underactive thyroid. I really think that plays that much of a role because: a) my weight didn't change all that much once I was diagnosed and started treatment and b) my mom has the same condition and has never really had a weight problem. She does say that, even with the meds, it is harder to take off weight when you want to.

I could get into the whole psychological aspects of being an emotional overeater. For me, it's an isolation thing. When I'm working and then going back to my apartment, I tend to eat way more than if I am visiting friends and family. Which is pretty ironic when you consider the fact that almost all family functions or outings with friends revolve around food of some sort. Guess I'll need to contact a shrink to find out why I turn to food when I'm feeling lonely or blue (although I'm sure there will be more than a few Tucker Trolls who will provide this analysis for free!).

Heather said...

anabell: let's get therapy together. Maybe they offer a group discount! LOL

Heather said...

in my 1st post, during the section about my thyrpid, I meant to say that I DON'T think my thyroid plays much of a role...

Critter said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anne said...

Oh let's see... Terrible food choices, terrible eating habits, little to no exercise, genetics, PCOS and underactive thyroid.

I blame my weight mostly on myself and the choices I make. Yes, genetics do play a role, but I play a bigger role in the outcomes.

I love your blog... :)

Anonymous said...

PCOS, genetic predisposition to overweightyness, large frame (yes, some people do have bigger bone structures than others - when I was at the "healthy range" weight for my height you could see bones protruding out from my body), and I'm a "food = love and happiness" kind of eater.

Anonymous said...

I'm fat because I'm an American..

Sam said...

We didn't land on FAT. FAT landed on us.

And to the girl that said she used icing as a're awesome

Anonymous said...

I am no longer fat (well, borderline I suppose, 5'5 and 170 lbs after losing 30 lbs so far). But I was fat because although intellectually I knew what healthy eating habits were, I never really thought about what I was eating and connections between food and my slow but steady weight gain - approx. 10 lbs/year throughout high school. At the end of my sophomore year in college I realized I had gained 40 lbs during my first 2 years of college and decided it was unacceptable. I am VERY slowly losing the weight, but also able to keep it off.
Short answer, was fat because I didn't know how to eat healthy. Now I do, and it works, albeit a glacial process.

JM said...

I like food. I think about food all the time. I can eat a lot of it, and do, for any reason I can come up with. I basically never say no to food, and when it's not being offered to me, I'll go to great lengths to acquire it. I'm not actually that fat, as fatness goes -- I don't think I've crossed over from chubby yet -- but I sure will be if I keep this up.

emily pound said...

I'm fat because when I was very young, at a very impressionable age, I learned that food was not only delicious, but a great comfort and distraction from the pain, loneliness, sadness and turmoil in my life. It was also the ONLY great comfort and distraction. And it still is.

Anonymous said...

I'm fat because I'm scared of being thin.

what other possible explaination can there be for wanting something so desperately that you cry yourself to sleep but wake up and eat like shit the next day like nothing happened?

I've lost more weight than I will ever be able to calculate. and yet, I have always gained it back. I'm scared of what being thin will be like. how will people treat me? will I still be expected to be the "funny best friend?" will I still be fat on the *inside*?

I've been fat for so long now that it's safe. and comfortable. and familiar.

that's why I'm fat. thank you for asking.

Anonymous said...

I'm fat because I eat too much and I don't exercise enough. Duh!

It would probably help if my mouth wasn't completely full of sweet tooths.

mikey said...

At great risk of being reviled as a skinny guy (6 foot, 190 pounds) by this crowd, I must tell you that I have a solid double chin, a nice belly and love handles which in many contests would rate a podium finish. So, though I've been bigger, to me I am fat.

As for why: I am happy, or at least it is not my weight which causes me any grief. I can do anything I want to physically and... well, maybe I'm fat because it's a test of others' worth; I have all my life been a contrary person. Not militantly, but always finding myself to be a little different and not unhappily so. Maybe I carry my extra pounds so I'll seem approachable-maybe the perfect woman is out there, searching and weighing 220 or whatever; maybe she sees my big ass and finds a fellow traveler.

Maybe I carry my pounds so I can float to port from a shipwreck 20 or 200 miles from shore.

Maybe I love food and drink and carry my weight as evidence, visible to all the detractors but, again, maybe the odd fellow traveler.

Maybe all these or one or several or many more.

byrneout said...

Booze and cheese.

blueskies said...

I'm very interested to know how many women who read this blog have PCOS.

Anonymous said...

I have pcos! what fun that is. I have all the physical side-effects and none of the medical ones, which I know is good, but lord do I hate the plucking of hairs in weird places on my body, worrying that my boy is going to see me naked before I've prepped and the waxing and the laser removal.

Anonymous said...

I have PCOS, too.

Anonymous said...

What do you mean by "All the physical, none of the medical," anon? Do you not have polycycstic ovaries or something?

Pudgester said...

I feel fat and to many, I am.

I weigh 165 and am a size 12-- there! I admitted it!

I just am a pudgy girl who emotionally eats and likes chocolate-- so sue me (actually, Lindsey, I hate that expression, so I retract that phrase).

senorita said...

Well, I’ve never been skinny. My father would try to get out of holding me because he said I was too big. (Ha.) Then school happened, and then all the boys in school happened, and we all know what they did. I don’t know why I stay fat. I am 24 and have tried to catch someone’s eye since I was 5. I have never been in love and no one has ever loved me. What if when I get skinny someone finally does fall in love with me? What will I do then? I will know love is fake. Then I will know love is conditional. His love won’t be real. It will be a lie. How could I reconcile that? How can I reconcile that? I’d rather have nothingness than to know the love I’m living in is a lie. I want sunlight, not florescence.

(laughing) Only I would care about something like that.

bbeary said...

I've been stuck in the fat/depression cycle since I was 8: I eat because I'm depressed, then I get depressed because I'm fat, so I eat. I also subscribe to the American fast food diet and am involved in an ongoing torrid love affair with bacon. I really don't mind being fat. I don't want to be skinny. I just don't want to be *this* fat.

littlem said...

Pudgester, always remember that whether a size 12 is fat depends on where in the USA -- or the world, for that matter -- you are.

I used to think it (the fat) was because of periods of fierce starvation -- triggered by stuff like being called names at school, being told by the dance company's A.D. to lose 30 pounds before she'd let me in even though I "moved well" (the beyotch) -- alternating with periods of rebound gluttony, over a 22-or-so-year period, but ...

... after reading Mark Hyman M.D.'s "Ultra-Metabolism" -- during which, to my everlasting delight, the erstwhile doc promptly debunks the over-simplistic "eat less, exercise more" in the FIRST CHAPTER! -- I'm starting to think it's a little more complicated than that.

So I guess the short answer is, I'm not sure anymore.

Ruby said...

I'm fat because it's my excuse for not getting the boy, not getting the job I want, not getting the grades I want....

If I wasn't fat, what excuse would I have?

~~Rae~~ said...

I have PCOS was finally diagnosed last yr thank goodness..Why am I fat well I love food, runs in my family,metabolism sucks and I slack on exercising due to other health issues

Anonymous said...

I'm one of those people who's been on every diet there is. I've joined Weight Watchers at least 8 times. What usually happens is, I work really hard at it for 1-6 months (REALLY hard--to lose 10 pounds is like a full-time job for me). I usually lose 20-30 pounds. And then I just get obsessed with food that I've been denying myself. Like, I fantasize about ice cream.

And then I start bingeing and within a month or two I'm above the weight where I started. This has happened to me at least 20 times and it's so frustrating that I'm scared to even start a new diet. I asked my Dr. about gastric bypass and she said, "You're not THAT big," and I cried for days.

I know people who stick to the kind of diet I should be on--1 piece of toast for breakfast, a salad for lunch, a chicken breast for dinner--but they always seem so pissed-off and bitter about it. I'd rather be fat than angry all the time.

I'm on low-carbs now and haven't lost an ounce, but I feel pretty great.

T. Comfyshoes said...

I'm fat because of Weight Watchers. Seriously.

When I put on my Freshman Fifteen, it put me towards the higher end of what a healthy weight would be, and I freaked. I hit WW and followed their plan to the letter, and the starvation was so intense that I actually started to self-injure at night to distract myself from the hunger pains enough to sleep. And my perfectly normal eating patterns got all messed up from the confessional attitude of the WW meetings.

I came out thin, with a shot metabolism, worsened depression, and a binge eating disorder.

I went from 120 to 210 in about 18 months.

Since then I've varied steadily between 210 and 230, and I'm not willing to go through the hell of restricting my calories ever again, so I won't be getting any smaller.

Dolley said...

Like a lot of people, I’m fat due to a combination of reasons. Part of it’s genetic; I was a chunky kid; part of it's metabolic - my mother was putting me on diets from the time I was 9, which didn't do much for my metabolic regulation. It had a lot to do with the fact that she was, or saw herself, as a fat kid; all I know is that in college, playing basketball, she was 130 pounds at 5’6”. She lost weight before she got married (stress, not on purpose), and lost more weight with each of five children, but she always had issues with my weight. I spent a lot of time reading – but I also ran around in the woods with my brothers, I took ballet for a while, I had riding lessons. By the time I was a teenager, I was doing an hour to an hour and a half of calisthenics a day at home; I wanted to take belly dance classes, but my parents refused to let me (according to my Mom, my Dad said, “She’s going to have enough trouble as it is;” lord knows what that meant). I also asked for weights, but that got turned down, too; this was years before women lifted weights as an ordinary part of a workout. I was diagnosed with hypoglycemia, and on a battery of meds. My weight would go up and down over the years; it would go up if I was unable to work out; it would go down, if I devoted 3 hours a day to solid, sweaty workouts. I’ve been “thin” in a socially-designated way four or so times in my life; the last time was for a period of about 8 years, so I’ve had plenty of experience, and plenty of opportunity, to confirm this observation. During my last “thin” period, I was working out anywhere from 3 to 8 hours a day. The times when my weight went up: when I was on prednisone (at one time, I was on daily doses for 12 years straight), or when I was unable to work out due to health-related problems. My diet doesn’t vary particularly; I don’t eat much, and there’s not a lot of variety, and my *usual* eating patterns don’t affect my weight loss. (This is following a period when I was eating food I didn’t want, because someone was worried about me; his worry was my weight gain, alas.) Weight loss, for me, is totally related to how much I work out. Right now, I’m fairly “fit,” since I’m working out about an hour a day; but no way am I thin. I won't be, unless and until I'm working out again for 3 or more hours a day, and I don't see that happening.

Anonymous said...

In response to how can you have PCOS w/o the medical effects, easy.

I used to never get my period. Like 2-4 times a year and when I would get it I would absolutely hemmorage blood for 10 days. I mean I would wear 2 overnight pads so it would cover my entire underwear and soak through it in less than 2 hours. And talk about debilitating cramps. I almost had my friend take me to the hospital b/c I thought I had food poisoning. In the end, it was just my period. So that alone, plus the physical manifestations - body hair, apple shaped, bad skin, etc...are enough to make a diagnosis.

Saddest thing though is that it was my dermatologist who recongized what it was and kept reminding me to go to the gyno who took one look at me and my medical history and was like you have pcos. 2 previous gyno's didn't mention it. Thankfully I finally went to one who didn't choose to criticize my weight while my legs were in the stirrups.

And since the diagnosis and since college I have slowly and steadily lost weight w/o dieting - 70 pounds in total. And with that weight loss - actually with a lot less than a 70 lb weight loss my periods...regulated kind of. Like I still don't know when I'll get it, but I get it pretty regularly every 4-6 weeks. So no I'm irregularly regular.

So that's how I don't have the medical conditions, merely the physical ones. But then I only really had the diabetes test AND I'm am trying very hard NOT to get pregnant so who knows what my fertility will be like.

Any more ?'s

bloomie said...

I'm fat, because...well I've always been fat, or chubby or something. I think my last time I was a "normal" weight was before I was 4.

At some point when I was growing up I used to hide food in my room. We always had a lot of food in the house, but not really junk food which I loved. I remember (kind of, b/c mostly I've blocked it out) of a 10 year old bloomie dying of shame as my mom searched my room for my secret stash of food. God, I'd kind of forgotten about that till right now.

According to a conversation I just had with her, I doubled my weight in a matter of years when I was 11/12ish. I don't recall that, but she could be right.

And then I went crazy in college, finally being able to eat anything and everything that had been kept from me as a child. I rebelled and gained even more weight. My friends all joked that man could not subsist on diet pepsi and pretzels alone, but one woman could.

So I weigh a lot b/c I like to eat. I used to think it was hereditary, b/c my parents are chubs now but they were thin when they were younger. So I'm fat b/c I like food, it's not that hard to figure out.

I still like to eat and pretzels are still my favorite food, but veggies have joined the group of faves as well so I still weigh a lot, but not nearly as much as I once did.

Jill said...

I eat too much. Not especially unhealthy stuff, but generally too much. I haven't gained much recently, but I gained 40 pounds in the late nineties and was never able to get rid of them. I tried a few diets, last time South beach, but I am not good at planned eating.

If I stopped when i am full and only ate what I craved I'd be thinner.
But I found out that I quite often eat stuff that I think i like and eat it way too fast, without enjoying it.
Eaten slowly several things did not taste as good as imagined.
Now I just have to use this information...

Anonymous said...

Sorry anonymous, I was just curious, I wasn't trying to act like I doubted you had the syndrome or something. I just never heard anyone describe their PCOS like that before. Thanks for the explanation

Anonymous said...

Oh I didn't think you were being rude or doubting I had PCOS. Happy to explain it away!

Kat said...

So.... are you going to tell US why you're fat?...
(Just wondering, no pressure - but would dearly love to know what your stories are!)

Tim said...

I'm fat because I love food and love the feeling of my belly :)

Anonymous said...

I am always hungry. I never feel full. I can always eat.

Antares said...

I'm fat because I don't like to eat Healthy. When I was a kid, we had pizza 5 days a week and ate at a local bar on the weekends.

I'm fat because I consider exercise walking to my car. Having a desk job and no desire to go exercise just for the sake of exercise, does very little to raise one's metabolism.

I'm fat because, when it comes right down to it, I'd rather not suffer through losing weight. If my life suffers because of it, then that's my choice and nobody elses.

I'm fat because I have rage issues and love it when someone makes fun of me on the street. They don't enjoy it much, but it makes me feel alive.

I'm fat because I'm fat. It's how I've always been and always will be. Might as well get used to it.

Stacia said...

Oh, senorita, I know how you feel, but about friendships instead of romantic relationships. Yes, for some people love is fake, it's dependent on physical appearance and not much else. People suck.

Why I'm fat... when I started Kindergarten I got chubby. Mom took me to a doctor because my diet hadn't changed at all, but the doctor's diagnosis was I was "sneaking cookies". Of course, I wasn't sneaking any extra food, so who knows why I started gaining weight. I ended up being about 175 pounds by the age of 14.

When I was 14 I dieted by exercising 4-6 times per day and I simply stopped eating. Everyone said I looked great, mom was so proud, then one day I passed out in gym because I was exhausted and starved and everyone found out how I lost the weight. The doctor lectured me about ruining my metabolism and my mom made sure I ate and I gained almost all the weight back in a couple of months.

By then I was about 160 pounds. In college I suddenly started gaining 10-15 pounds every month during PMS, and I couldn't lose it no matter what. The doctor's diagnosis: "You're fat." After a year of this I weighed 280 pounds, and after a decade of tests there's been no further diagnosis.

I gained some when I worked in a office job but since I've quit, I've gone back down to the 280, but no lower. Charts say I should need 3,000 calories a day to maintain this weight, but unless I eat 1,800 or less I gain.

It is so damned frustrating to eat 1,800 calories a day and weigh almost 300 pounds, especially when jerks online tell fat people over and over again that all we have to do is "eat less and exercise" and the fat will all go away. If it really was that easy then we would all be losing weight, now wouldn't we? Idiots.

I'd love to know what I could do to lose weight, but I'm pretty sure the only answer is a 1,000 calorie a day diet plus excessive exercise, neither of which I can achieve.

rakshasa said...

stacia said: "It is so damned frustrating to eat 1,800 calories a day and weigh almost 300 pounds, especially when jerks online tell fat people over and over again that all we have to do is "eat less and exercise" and the fat will all go away. If it really was that easy then we would all be losing weight, now wouldn't we? Idiots."

I would think that you are the exception. Reading through the other posts, almost all the other posters say that they are fat because they eat too much, or don't exercise, or eat unhealthy food. Which is exactly what the "obesity crisis" people are saying..

shaynapunam said...

Okay, wow...what you all said. No, really. I am six feet tall and a hundred pounds overweight. I do not see it in the mirror. I look the same--same as I did when I was thinner and now that I am fatter. I eat with mindlessness. I cry and am sad and am embarrassed (even for my husband) and yet, still cram it in my face. I was molested a couple of times as a little girl. Everyone I loved left--my dad, my mom, boys, boyfriends...I ate to comfort myself. Then it expanded to eating for stress, sadness, loneliness, happiness, anger, frustration, pretty much if you can name an emotion, I will eat because of it.
I also love the lady who wrote that she doesn't want to fall in love...because it is fake. I went to a therapist back a million years ago when I was engaged to the wrong man. She asked me, as I packed on the pounds--are you going to eat until he leaves? Well, yeah. And he did. And it was because I had gotten so fat. So there, someone else I loved left me. Do I sound pathetic? I really am not--I am really fun and smart and successful. And, I am not fat unless I say so. :) I am going to find out if I have PCOS. I do not know what it is! Sadly, my thyroid works fine...

Buffpuff said...

Ah, Rakshahsa, but how many of the overeaters, comfort eaters and junk-cravers, I wonder, got that way after dieting? There's as thin a line between denial and binge as there is between love and hate.

And - um - anyone here reckon young master Antares might be a-trollin'?

Sarah said...

I'm fat because I'll get 6 cheeseburgers at McDonald's, or 8 tacos at Taco Bell, or an entire pizza in one sitting. Though I am fat, I think I should be a lot fatter than I am for how much I eat. I've never met anyone that eats as much as me.

Stacia said...

rakshasa, that might be true. However I've belonged to diet groups online for years and there are several people who say the same thing I do, yet they're usually accused of lying. I know they're not lying, because it's happening to me.

For a while I did eat very poorly -- an entire 10 inch pizza in one setting, a Whopper and fries, that kind of thing. But I haven't eaten like that since the early 90s.

As for the "obesity crisis", well, consider the entire lifestyle of most people in this country. Bad food is cheaper at fast food restaurants; as someone who gets the salads, grilled chicken and baked potatoes all the time, trust me on this. Plus people are so busy that take-out is a quick, affordable, and simple option for them. So many people work 50-hour a week office jobs, and I can attest to gaining a ton of weight just because I had an exhausting office job that wouldn't allow breaks or enough lunch time to exercise. It's no wonder people are gaining weight. It's an entire cultural thing, not just people being "stupid" by eating the wrong foods.

Anonymous said...

shaynapunam, PCOS is a disorder in which a hormonal imbalence (too much testosterone or estrogen) causes a thickening of the ovarian wall which traps eggs during ovulation. Because of the hormonal imbalence people have some other physical symptoms (excess body hair, apple shaped obesity, almost nonexistant monthly cycle, etc.) which are used to help identify the problem. If you don't have an irregular monthly cycle, you probably don't have it.

Mike said...

You're all greedy, fat piggies :) Now go eat some more....

Anonymous said...

I am fat because I am lazy. I know from twenty years of experimenting that if I exercise about an hour a day, to the point of sweating for most of that, I lose weight without starving. My diet is good - I lived with a nutritionist for a year and a half and she was surprised that I am able to maintain my fatty weight given that I eat healthily (vegetarian no dairy and mostly produce) and not too much. I don't binge, I don't need to diet (given that my diet is already great), but I do need to exercise every day. But I don't. I watch tv. I play video games. I spend hours cruising the internet. On weekends off or vacations, I opt for the non-sweating activities. I don't like sports or bike riding or hiking or even walking around new places.

There it is. Fat, lazy, but no bad food choices. Another twist on the fat causes.

Neekeela said...

I don't know. I think there are so many layers to why I'm fat and each time I try and succed at losing some weight, I find a new reason for why I kept those particular 5 pounds on. It's easy to say 'I love food' cause I do. Like a little kid, sometimes I'll sing a candy song and remember what my favorite candy or cookies or cake tastes like in my mouth. The thought of fresh strawberries at just the right temperature cheers me up considerably. Where does this food reaction come from? Biology maybe? Coping skills learned from youth? Who knows, it's part of my hard wiring now. Recently I discovered there is a space in my body between starved and stuffed. I can feel comfortable, and sometimes I even notice when that happens, and even other times I actually stop. A lot of the time, I eat a little past that because the food tastes good and eating it feels great. Then there is the physical reality of being fat. At 28, after losing almost 50 pounds, I realized I'd been holding onto that weight to rebel against my parents. 8 years out of their home, and 3,000 miles later, I was still fighting their edicts to be thinner and their assumption that only thin people are loved or liked. there is the reality that at 220, no one loked at me, at 180 men of color whistled and made cat calls to me, and at 150 men of color no longer yelled, but whispered as they pass me on the street. It's an armor, a shield. I could go on. I have a lot of reasons for being fat and some of them are based in things I want to change. I liked it better when I was 150 and trained for triathlons, but I lost that weight when I had a broken heart. I guess I'm overweight cause I lack the ability to balance things. My hunger, my lifestyle, my appetites, my moods, my family, my work, my exercise. But, I work at my body to make it something that looks and feels as I'd like it to because I feel like my body is my inroad to figuring out stuff about myself. It seems cheesy and stupid when I write it here, but that's the way I think of it. I'm fat for a lot of reasons.

BeckaJo said...

I am fat because I am lazy. Too lazy to really address my emotional problems, so I took pills, which killed my sluggish metabolism. Too lazy to keep putting the effort into dance I did as a teenager, so I don't exercise. Too lazy to get myself off the couch except to grab something else too eat. Too lazy to cook anything decent, so all I eat is CRAP.

Oh, and my mother.

Anonymous said...

I'm fat because I developed PCOS and doubled my weight when i was 12. As a result, my knees and ankles started to give in, and working out was painful and hard. Also I'm lazy and I like fries.

I REALLY like fries.

blueskies said...

I figured there must be a ton of women reading this blog with PCOS. We need a PCOS blog!

buffpuff said...

Just wondering, in the light of Neekeela saying she'd lost weight when she had a broken heart, whether anyone had ever experienced what I did when similarly afflicted?

At least three or four times in my life, when I was practically dying of misery, (watching my 55-year-old dad die of oesophegal cancer being one such example), I lost tons of weight no matter. A lot of folks can't eat at all when they're desperately unhappy, (I've had that experience too. Maybe it depends on the nature of the unhappiness), but for the most part, I comfort-ate and it was if the unhapinness was eating me up from the inside no matter how much I did.

buffbuff said...

Whoops, that should have read, "I lost tons of weight no matter what or how I ate".

Critter said...

I am fat because I eat to much and don't exercise enough. I am a binge eater. I am trying to work on this problem but some days are better than others. I don't have any illness that makes it hard for me to loose weight I am just a big fat lazy ass.

littlem said...

Stacia, honey, read Dr. Mark's book (I posted a little bit about it up-comment-thread).

There are a lot more tests now that can determine if something went wrong long ago with your "filtering system", as it were. For example, one of the things he says is that subclinical hypothyroidism is quite difficult to properly diagnose, and I wanted to go back and beat all the docs that said I was "just fine" when I kept telling them how exhausted I was over the head with the book.

It's got lots of resources in the back -- things you probably haven't even had a chance to think about. I won't even go into my rant about pthalates and endocrine disruptors and all the stuff in our food that Kraft and General Foods -- and hell, even some of the organic food manufacturers -- don't even tell us about.

But do read the book. It may help you find some answers. Even if you're not looking to lose weight, IMO it has some great suggestions for better health in our 21st century world where that's pretty much counterculture (even most well-to--do women seem to be undernourished/anorexic. And overstressed).

Anonymous said...

I am fat because ....

when I was 6 years old I was molested by my uncle. One of the things he SAID repeatedly (over the course of the year and a half it lasted) was that someday, when I was older, I'd have big boobs like my mom (he was married to her much thinner and much flatter sister), and all the boys would want to date me. But that I should be careful not to get fat (like my mom did) or I'd end up all alone (like she did).

Some combination of not wanting to be wanted by boys (and therefore WANTING to be fat), and needing something comforting to swallow down the unexpressed anger (pain tastes better with a box of ding dongs), resulted in my starting to get fat by the time I was 9, and never really stopping.

I have never told anyone about what happened. But it's starting to bother me, at this point in my life, how much of my self-image and my life are actually being dictated by what he did and said. I'm thinking of going back into therapy to try to stop my self-destructiveness.

Stacia said...

littlem, thanks for the suggestion. I'll check into it.

Anonymous said...

because i'm too lazy to learn how to cook healthily, or learn how to cook at all. fast food and junk food is easier.

also, because i never wanted to admit that i had gained weight, so i kept eating/drinking as i had been.

it didn't help.

now i know.

Whitney said...

Reading this makes me want to stay on my diet.

I am at my weight because I overeat from time to time. Luckily I dislike fast food. I hate cheap food. I don't even eat at restaurants like Applebee's or Fridays - that's just fast food in a bigger building.

I gain weight from eating homecooked meals or dining at nice restaurants.

I know how to lose and maintain. Sick of going up and down. Doing it for good this time.


Anonymous said...

I have PCOS and IBS. The preferred diet for PCOS gives me uncontrollable diarrhea, no questions asked. So I eat the IBS diet, which makes me gain weight like a mofo.

Even though I'm not constantly pooing now, I do still get constipated sometimes, and then eat more to get unconstipated, and then end up with the runs, and even though I poo out everything I've eaten in a month it seems I still gain weight from it. *Sigh*

Friggas Own said...

It's a defense mechanism. I started to bulk up because I was tired of being weak, trying to take up a minimal amount of space, being invisible, and having people push me around. I'm not saying it was a deliberate move on my part, but I think that was the psychological trigger behind it. I enjoy knowing that now if someone messed with me I could knock them flat on their butt, and that no one is going to be able to grab me and pull me anywhere. Fat people are hard to kidnap.

Now the real thing is that I spend most of my day on my butt in front of a computer and don't have any time to exercise. I also don't eat as much as I should, so my body reacts to hunger by storing everything I eat instead of trying to use it. No really, I have one meal a day and maybe a cup of yoghurt for breakfast. I hate eating in front of strangers so I don't take lunch to work, I just drink an extra large bottle of water. At least I don't have to justify water to the crazy thin people who want to count the calories in my lunch.

Anonymous said...

I too have a underactive thyroid and while it is hard to lose weight, i find myself using that excuse for being overweight. I'm really bad with confrontation and as soon as I realize that I have to work harder and not eat every single thing that catches my attention, I will be fat. I take synthroid every day and that helps speed up my metabolism but I will never be the same, but you know what, that is fine with me because I love the way I look and everyone else should too!

Nekane said...

No freakin' clue. I work outside doing manual labor (more or less--I'm an archaeologist), hike a lot, and according to the dietician I am doing everything right. I don't have any metabolic or hormonal problems that can be identified. I'm just fat, and I hate myself because of it.

Fat Man said...

I'll tell you why I'm fat!

I am FAT because I LOVE being FAT! I'm proud to say that I'm 5 ft. 6 in. and I weigh 330 pounds, probably more because it's been over a month since I weighed myself.

When I was 13 years old, I was 5 ft. 3 in. and I only weighed about a hundred pounds, but then I started gaining a lot of weight, and by the time I was 15, I was about 220 pounds, and I stopped growing at 5 ft. 7 in. That is verticle growth stopped, but horizontal growth continued.

By the time I was 17, I weighed 275 pounds, and when I turned 18, this was back in 1969, and so, I had to register for the draft.

Of course, this was back during the Viet Nam war, and I had no fear that I would be drafted to fight in that stupid war, because when I went to the Draft Board, the Army rejected me because I was about 120 pounds overweight.

I had deliberatly fattened myself up so that the Army would reject me, and I would not have to fight, and perhapes die, for a country that had denied me my basic civil rights, and for a bunch of low-lifes who had bullied me around when I was growing up, and out!!!

I'm now 55 years old, and a few years ago, I had lost an inch off of my height, so that makes me a litter bit shorter and fatter.

I actually hope that as I get older, I will lose another couple of inches from my height so that I'll be even shorter and fatter than I am now!

I guess you could say that when I was in my teens, I fell from the fat tree, and struck every branch on the way down!

I mean that literally!!!

You see, I grew up in a violent and hostile environment!

To quote and earlier post . . . . .

Friggas Own said...

It's a defense mechanism. I started to bulk up because I was tired of being weak, trying to take up a minimal amount of space, being invisible, and having people push me around. I'm not saying it was a deliberate move on my part, but I think that was the psychological trigger behind it. I enjoy knowing that now if someone messed with me I could knock them flat on their butt, and that no one is going to be able to grab me and pull me anywhere. Fat people are hard to kidnap.

Hey man! I know where you're coming from!

Of course, my weight gain was a deliberate move on my part.

When I was a kid, I was lousy at sports. At the age of 4, I fell out of a car, and busted my left knee on the pavement, so as a kid I walked with a limp, and so, I could not run like the other kids could, and I was often bullied around because of it.

Also, my stepfather was a violent and abusive drunkard who would often beat up on my mother and I.

Then one day, at the age of 15, I went to the drug store as usual to buy some comic books, and then I put a penny in the scale and weighed myself, and I was at 220 glorious and wonderful pounds!

I was very happy to be well over 200 pounds when I was just a kid! It meant the I finally outweighed my abusive stepfather who was 5 ft. 10 in. about 3 inches taller and only weighed 185 pounds.

When I saw that nice big number on the scale, I smiled contentedly to myself, and patted myself on my nice fat tummy!

And so, one day, my stepfather was pulling is usual abusive bullshit with my mother, and I jumped him, and cleaned his clock! He never laid a hand on my mother again after that!

When I was in the 5th grade at the age of 11, I was at average weight for my height, and I was somewhat shorter than most kids my age, and I was often bullied around by the bigger kids.

I was called a sissy, and a queer because I didn't care for sports. I prefered reading books instead, and Astronomy was my favorite subject. When I was only in the 2ed. grade I was already reading at the adult level, and at the age of 13, I once scored over 150 points on a standard IQ test. I was the typical nerd or geek.

Anyway, one day, iht the 5th grade, I wanted to check out a book on Astronomy from the school library, but my teache would not allow me to check it out. He was the first male teacher I ever had, and he was really gung-ho when it came to sports and physical education, but lousy at teaching.

Anyway, we got into an aguement in the library, and he dragged me out into the hall, and bashed my head against the corner of a brick wall. For a few years after that, I had dizzy spells whenever I would lay on my back. The following year, that teacher was fired from his teaching job.

It was shortly after my head injury, that my appetite gradually increased over the next few years, and by the time I was 13 years old I began putting on a lot of weight because I was constantly hungry.

Eventually I outweighed every person who had bullied me around.

Some kids who grow up in a violent and abusive environment might become hostile and violent and turn to crime, or using drugs, but some kids simply get FAT, and eventually become fat adults.

I believe that weight gain to enlarge the size of one's body to make one's presence more intimidating to one's peers, is one of nature's way of adapting to a hostile environment.

Most people have the common sense not to mess around with someone twice their size. But in my case, at 330 pounds, someone twice my weight would be helpless and immobile, unless he happen to be a big strone Sumo Wrestler, but then again, Sumo Wrestlers and not aggressive or violent, but rather gentle and quite docile.

Also, I have discovered that at my weight, I have no need to be violent and aggressive. When someone tries to pick shit with me, I just lunge toward that person, and pin him up against the wall, pressing up against him with my big round belly. I don't have to throw in a punch. My size alone is intimidating, even to those who happen to be taller than I am.

I actually enjoy looking up to people who are much taller, and knowing that I outweigh them by well over a hundred pounds!

I'm built like a fat little Teddy Bear with a large plump round body and short limbs, measuring only 53 inches around my chest, but 62 inches around my waist, 66 inches around my lower belly, hips and butt, and 33 inches around my short chunky thighs.

I have a lady friend who drops by to see me now and than, and she actually says that I'm kind of cute, that I have nice legs, and that I look like a fat little Dutch boy. When I go out in public I wear shorts because I'm not ashamed to show off my short fat legs.

Even my doctor is kind and understanding. She never used the word "obese" or even "fat" but simply refers to me as being chubby.

Anyway, I love being fat, and I like weighing twice as much as the average person, and walking into a room full of people and being the heaviest there, and when I ride the city bus, I enjoy taking up two seats when I sit down.

Also, I love the sensation of heaviness on my feet when I'm walking, and when I lay down on my bed to sleep, I love that heavy sensation of my soft plump body pressing down on the mattress.

Being so much larger than the average person makes me feel more secure, so I don't feel like some kind of oversized freak. I simply feel like a human being who happens to be much larger than average.

I refuse to be ashamed of my size just simply because I'm nopt at a "socially acceptable" weight. I'm not buying into that.

I amd plump and proud, large and in charge.

And so, to all of you fatties out there, you have no need to go around hating yourselves because of your size and weight.

Be happy and proud, because you are a very special person.

We are all God's children, and we fat people are God's babies! :)

Anonymous said...

Jesus Christ! Could you be any creepier?
I'm betting that you're either a troll (in which case, not a very good one.), fucking crazy, or a really submissive guy who gets off on being called weak and docile.
Which is it?

Angi said...

Why am I fat? Hmm... good question. I used to be thin... well, thin-er. I was a size 9/10 most of my life. I had my first child, gained to size 14/16 then lost it all in a few months. Then I had my second child.

That was the end of my skinny. I couldn't walk well, I was very tired all the time, then after I had her I got Depo. That was it. I'm pretty sure the Depo is why I'm fat. That and .. well, I'm lazy. I got fat, and it was always... I'll lose it tomorrow. Healthy food is expensive. I don't have time to exercise.

I plan to get WLS (lap-band) soon, so hopefully I won't be fat forever.

... Love your blog btw!

Chelle said...

I'm fat, because if I wasn't, I'd be too attractive, lol.