Thursday, February 16, 2006

Fat Girl Dictionary

Lindsey and I have wanted, for months now, to create some sort of "fat girl dictionary". We came up with this while talking in code one day about seeing a "muffin top" talking to a "skinny fat" and how one was "making love" to her burrito.

But, last night I got a disturbing email from an ex, asking if I wanted to see him. No, I didn't and yes, I know what "wanting to see him" meant. But, when I told him I wasn't down for the casual sex he informed me he just wasn't looking for a girlfriend, (funny, because I never asked to be his girlfriend). Funny enough, this EXACT same thing happened to Lindsey a month or so ago when a guy she was casually seeing told her that he just didn't want a relationship at that point in his life.

So, this got me thinking and I've come to the conclusion that:

If a guy tells you he wants to be, um, intimate, but then says he doesn't want a girlfriend...and your fat, the "fat girl dictionary" would define his statement as such:

"I'm not looking for a relationship right now" (n.) Origins are Latin for, "I'm an asshole"
Definition: You're a cool girl, we had lots of fun together, but I can't be seen in public with you because you're fat.

20 comments:

Shannon said...

I had a boyfriend like that....ass

T. Comfyshoes said...

I've had several. Where was that dictionary when I needed it?

emily pound said...

A guy I was with actually went so far as to call me his "lovemate" ... somehow that was less serious than "girlfriend" ... but he still always hastened to remind he was "dating". Now he's "history".

randomfatgirl said...

Just wanted to say you guys are awesome, I read this whole blog in one sitting...lol. You've even inspired me to start my own! I would definitely be up for a copy of your dictionary...keep blogging ladies, you're going a great job! :)

GoBetty said...

Please define:
"muffin top" and "skinny fat" (and is there an opposite of that one, "fat skinny"?)

GoBetty said...

Oooh, a "Muffin Top" is this, http://www.nydailynews.com/news/gossip/story/330221p-281994c.html, when your spare tire is showing over your pants.

"Skinny Fat" is a little tougher. I am getting links to Christian chat rooms and Star Jones. YIKES!

LME said...

Skinny fat--think of a pasty-white hipster with a 15-inch waist who never gets any exercise and whose diet consists of full-sugar Coca-Cola, french fries and expensive French cigarettes--and often hates on fat people for being so fat even though the fat people are often in much better health than the skinny-fat person whose little heart is sheathed in a layer of lard and beats erratically beneath ribs that protrude sharply.

fatty mcgee said...

Little Miss Ess,

That was beautiful.

GoBetty said...

Fuck! Awesome visual! Totally getting you like a vulcan mind meld.

Anonymous said...

Believe me - you don't have to be fat for guys to be assholes and not want to see you in public even though you're having sex. Guys treat girls of all sizes like shit.

Anonymous said...

Seriously. I've had that conversation when I was a size 4.

Anonymous said...

i think its best said that most guys are ass holes!

vegancore said...

I just found this blog, and I just have to say... I love you two. You're fabulous. Commence stalking in 5... 4... 3... 2... now.

Stephanie said...

You girls are just amazing. Entertaining and truthful, I love it. I found you through a post on 3fatchicks.com and have fallen in love with your blog. I posted a link on my blog I love it so much (although no one reads my sad little blog, so I don't know how much go it will do). Just wanted to say, keep it up!

littlem said...

Neil LaBute wrote a whole play about evil people like that, and Ashlee Atkinson starred in in here in New York. Read it. It won't make the nauseating phenomenon go away, but the description at the end of how SAD and WEAK these types of men really are sure made me feel better, and serene because I'm not involved with one.

Anonymous said...

fuckers!

Chick said...

fuckers, part deaux.

the little window to leave my info never showed up, and when I pressed publish, it was anonymous. I hate anonymous!

LoRi~fLoWer said...

Don't forget to add "such a pretty face" to your dictionary!

randomfatgirl said...

I find myself checking this blog 20 times a day for updates...is that sad? LOL! :)

violet_yoshi said...

I have something to add to the definition:

"I'm not looking for a relationship right now" (n.) Origins are Latin for, "I'm an asshole"
Definitions:

1. You're a cool girl, we had lots of fun together, but I can't be seen in public with you because you're fat.

2. You're a cool girl, we had lots of fun together, but I can't be seen in public with you, because I'm an insecure loser, who cares more about what his male friends think of him. Does that make me gay?