As a self proclaimed fat and paranoid person I think people are staring and judging me all the time. But I am soon to be in a situation where it is 100% guaranteed that I will be the least popular person in the vicinity...on an airplane.
I am taking a six hour plane ride across the country and I am having so much more anxiety then usual. As a preface, I am a terrible flier. I have been known to sob silently to myself and have actual panic attacks. I can recite the rational facts about air travel and try to calm myself down, but nothing will make me feel better until we are in descent. Because for some reason the most statistically dangerous parts of a plane ride, the takeoff and landing, don't scare me.
But on top of my usual psychosis about flying, I am also dealing with paranoia about being way fatter then the last time I flew. I know whoever sits next to me if going to curse the gods for making me the person next to them and when they get off the plane, they are going to tell whoever picks them up at the airport that they had to sit next to a fatty the whole time. And I can't exactly blame them. I wouldn't want to sit next to me. A hysterical fat girl is not exactly the most awesome person to sit next to for six hours...
As a fat girl, I know that I will be spending the trip trying to make myself seem as small as possible. Being careful not to let any part of my body touch the person next to me. My shoulders will be hunched into themselves. My thigh muscles will be working overtime keeping my legs together. If I don't die in flight I will exit the plane a complete mess with every muscle aching.
But I haven't even addressed my biggest fear - what if I am now too fat for a seat belt??? What if my giant belly is now in the way of buckling up? I have never had to use a seat belt extender before, and I am so scared that this time I may have to. How do you get one? What if everyone hears me? What if the flight attendant is a bitch? Does JetBlue even have them or do I need to bring my own? I know I will never have to see any of those people ever again but I am still totally mortified by the prospect of having to use one. I really hope I am just catastrophising and I don't really need one - but I might!
Have any of you ever used one? What was your experience? How did you ask for one? And doesn't it particularly suck to fly as a fat person and know that everyone on the entire plane is hoping that you don't sit next to them?!?!?