Tuesday, July 26, 2005

Fat Man, Little Car

On my way to work this morning I saw a fat man in a tiny car. It was a convertible. He's living the life. Then a question popped into my head..."What would that fat mans last meal be if he was on death row in prison?" Then I started to think, "What if that man got into a car accident and died...what was his last meal?" Then I really started to think.

You know that saying, "Live each day as if it were your last"? Well, it has come to my attention that fat people eat each meal as if it were their last. I mean, I'd be pretty pissed if I died and my last meal consisted of tuna salad...although tuna salad can be really good with the right amount of mayo. Anyway, if I died today, right now actually, my last meal would consist of half of a Coca-Cola C2 and 2 Hershey Kisses...pretty pathetic. I'm sort of in a panic. It makes me want to go out and gorge myself on double fried french fries dipped in ranch and buffalo wings...which I've never had, but I think they would quickly become one of my favorite foods if I did try them.

I wonder what Lindsey's last meal would be. Let me take a quick guess...sushi (which I believe is just a vehicle for her to pour spicy mayo on something), these bbq sticky buns she keeps talking about, and maybe a sandwich...I really don't know...but I'd put my money sushi.

I really don't know what my last meal would be. I think I'd go with something really simple. Something like a cheeseburger and fries. Maybe lobster and butter. Maybe both. I know I'd have a Coke, no glass, but straight out of the fridge. I really like my Coke on the verge on freezing. Maybe if I switched to the type of coke that went up my nose, I wouldn't talk about food so much...and I definitely wouldn't have a weight problem. Now that's something to think about.


Anonymous said...

"Live each day as if it were your last because one day you're going to be right."

Mr. W said...

Personally, my last meal would have to be a pizza, pepperoni with a cold Miller Lite and some cheese sticks, my fiance's homemade mac and cheese, cheese and crackers, hot wings, a nacho supreme from Messner's, this bar in Chicago, and possibly a chicken ceasar salad... now if that doesn't kill me, what will?

Anonymous said...

If I died now, my last meal would have been a small yoghurt & a bowl of muesli flakes with milk (healthy breakfast cereal). But if I knew it was to be my last meal, I might have chosen hmmmmm roast potatoes, honey carrots, mint peas, cauliflower au gratin, steamed al dente green beans, & either grilled barramundi (fish) with a mornay sauce, or swiss chicken (boneless skinless chicken breast topped with ham, swiss cheese, & a creamy french mustard & shallot sauce), followed by mango gelati.

Glib Gurl said...

Okay, when I saw this blog title, I couldn't help but sing to myself, "Fat guy in a liiiiiittle coat . . . ." ROFL!

mainja said...

last meal eh?

pork souvlaki, rice, caesar salad. mmmmm.

GoBetty said...

Cheeseburger, coke, fries - maybe with gravy & cheese curds (poutine), maybe not.

Marly said...

Oh, I've planned out my last meal through many boring Geometry classes:
1/2 lb dark chocolate bar
steak with lots of crispy fat
Reese's Peanut butter Cups
Fried Dumplings & a spring roll
Beef lo mein
Thick crust pizza with extra extra cheese
Phish Food Ice cream
hot chocolate chip cookies
hot brownies
cheese and crackers

I wouldn't be able to eat half of it, but I can damn well try!

Lily said...

I would eat the banana juice of the guy who is my soulmate. (not found him yet)

Anonymous said...

I wanted to see a pic of a a big fat sweaty man in a very small car! IM still looking.

Anonymous said...

for my last meal i would have a sliver of an eclair, a bit of creamy pasta, a fried vegetarian spring roll, 3 fried onion rings and 2 bites of a vegie burger
but i dont know... i kind of enjoy being a little bit hungry, its kind of enlightening... maybe could i have all that then 3 hours later ill die?
i love this blog so much. its hilarious! im skinny but im not one of those annoying skinnies like laura or whoever who complain theyre so fat... im like a fatty trapped in a skinny body who cant eat more than 1000 calories a day and goes physco if it doesnt exersize a lot...
damn and a fried krispy kreme. just get a krispy kreme and deep fry it. that would be so good

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