Sadly, all I wanted for this summer was to be able to don a tank top and walk around. Yeah, that's it ... wearing a tank top in public was my summer goal and I failed miserably. New York summers are brutal and the humidity is a killer, especially for someone schlepping around an extra 150 extra lbs everyday!
I envy all the brave fat girls who dare to wear tank tops. There are the few chunksters who apparently don't notice or don't care that their arms look like a christmas hams sticking out of their shoulders.
The thing is that I notice when fat girls wear tank tops, and while I applaud them, I also know that I stare and inspect their fat, droopy, ugly, puckered, and stretch marked arms. So that means that if I wore a short sleeve shirt, people would look at my nasty arms, and I just couldn't take it.
The stoop in front of my office is an amazing place to people watch. As I sit in the heat, smoking a cigarette and sweating into my long sleeve shirt, I watch the little people walk by in their tank tops and the occasional fat girl in theirs, and I have come to a conclusion ... If I was a fat black girl I would be able to wear them as well.
Now, stay with me.... my thesis is basically this, "Fat black girls can wear tank tops without me wincing at their arms". Why is that? If anyone has a reason why this is so, or an opinion on the matter, I would love to hear it.
But in the meantime, all I have to say is that my summer wish is no longer the sad and apparently unachievable goal of wearing a tank top ... now all I want it to be black.