Wednesday, March 08, 2006


I'm a little bit upset at Lindsey. She really didn't do anything wrong per-say, but, if you ask me, she's disappointing me. Why? Because she's not Oprah.

I don't Tivo Oprah on a daily basis, but I saw that she had a show coming up in which she sent her BFF (that's best friend forever), all over America to find the country's best hamburger, so I pressed record faster than I can walk. If there is one thing to be said about me, it's this:

Hamburgers, (Cheeseburgers really), and french fries are my favorite meal in the world. Living in Los Angeles, I've been to some of the best restaurants in the country, (Mmm....Mastros), but I've got to tell you, cheeseburgers and french fries are number 1 in my heart.

So, back to why I need a new best friend...Oprah sends Gayle, her BFF, all over the country with GQ Magazine's Top 20 Hamburgers in America and basically pays for her to travel and eat hamburgers. The closest Lindsey and I have come to that was when she offered to pay the tip if I ran down three flights of stairs to get the sushi we ordered for delivery. Sadly, only two of the top twenty burgers are in my area, so that leaves 18 hamburgers that I will almost never know the glory of...why? Because Lindsey isn't Oprah, and therefore can't afford to fly me on her private jet to eat delicious burgers.

I'm not really angry at Lindsey...but seriously, if Oprah every tires of Gayle and needs a new BFF, I'm totally going to audition for the role and then tell her a good subject for her show would be Emily's search for the best food in the country.


randomfatgirl said...

HA I need a best friend like that myself!!! But I bet skinny little Gayle only ate like 2 bites out of all of them...or, Oprah's personal trainer took care of her once she got done. Damn it.

Laura Bora from Bufadora said...

If you are ever in NYC you HAVE to go to Paul's Place on the corner of 2nd Ave and St. Mark's Place. He makes the JUCIEST most AWESOME burgers EVER! And he has all kinds of fun burger toppings like fried onions or jalapenos or a fried egg (not for me) and his fries are salty and greasy and fabulous. He also does fountain drinks.


AnabelleH said...

Has Gayle ever been that skinny?

GoBetty said...

Oh my fucking god, me too. Cheeseburgers. Fries. Soda. We also have "poutine" here in Canada. Also known as DeathFries - they are fries with cheese curds and gravy poured over top. Yummo.

Anonymous said...

A small critique: I love your blog, and I look forward to reading it, but I have to say, it's nearly impossible to see. I can't read the gray text on black background at all. In order to read it, I have to highlight all of the text just to make out the words. A font color or background color change would do wonders for the site!

Sassafras said...

You bitches are funny!
If you weren't so fat I bet your asses would be on tv!

But Betty, "DeathFries - they are fries with cheese curds and gravy poured over top" sounds anything but Yummo.

Geoffrey said...

GQ said Peter Lugar's in Brooklyn had the second best burger -- forget it! I went just to try it and left half of it over. The onion rolls were great though. Of course PL has great steaks, that hasn't changed. For a good burger, try Chumley's when you visit your current bff.

Jan said...

Poutine is delicious. I used to have a roommate who'd lived in Canada and she'd make those.

In NYC, I like the burgers at Hamburger Harry's. But I prefer homemade burgers on a homemade potato bun. That is my #1.

Starla said...

Everyday I wish my best friend was Oprah too. Because then I could go all the great things Gayle does. How unfair.