Wednesday, March 15, 2006

My Jolene's

I don't know if I've written about this before, I probably have, but I'm also too tired to take a look back. But, If I'm willing to write about it again, you must know how serious I am about this. I'm talking about skinny women and fat men. Nothing angers me more.

Now, I know I should have a better attitude about the whole thing, but I can't stop thinking about how angry it makes me. So, no comments about a better attitude, or how I need an attitude adjustment. Yes, I do...I know this.

As most of you know, I'm attracted to fat men. I'd be attracted to them even if I were skinny, which is sort of hypocritical, but I'm not skinny so it's not a issue.

It just really seems to bother me. I don't think fat people should only date fat people, because I don't have a problem when a fat girl dates a skinny guy, but I find myself very hot headed over the sight of a skinny girl/ fat man combo.

For the most part, I'm upset because I feel that fatter men are, mostly, more accepting of dating larger girls (probably not true, but it's sounding good in my crazy head right now). So, if these skinny mini's are cutting into my man pool, well, that's just less Jewish fat men for me, and that's just not going to fly.

Also, skinny women already get to wear better clothes, they don't have to deal with the ins and outs of being fat and can eat a burger without totally feeling guilty, so why should they be able to snag my fat men?

I probably sound very irrational right now and Lindsey will probably read this and call me and ask me if I've gone crazy, but I just had to get it off of my chest.

If you're skinny and reading this, I have nothing against you per-say, just don't be all Jolene about it. And, if you don't know who Jolene is, refer to your Dolly Parton...I'm pretty sure she's talking about skinny women and fat men...well, at least in my head she is.


Eva said...

I also feel that it is personally (for the skinny folks) more acceptable and socially more acceptable for skinny women to date fat men than for skinny men to date fat women.
And our pool ain't big to begin with.........

randomfatgirl said...

What pisses me off even worse than seeing them together is that most fat men STILL want the skinny women! My brother is 6 ft, pushing 300lbs, and both of his wives have been around 5ft 10in and about 125 lbs...he would never consider dating a fatty. And, I once did a profile on just for kicks and put in that I prefer men that have a little extra baggage...and for all the fat guys I got on my list, *I* was only compatible to the body type THEY were looking for in like one match...all 35 other ones wanted women who were "slim/slender, atheletic, or average"...NO "extra baggage" or "curvy" or "heavy set" on their criteria list...the fat bastards.

Dani said...

Sorry girls, I feel badly but my tastes run to the stocky / overweight. I wouldn't call myself skinny, but I definitely date guys that are usually bigger than I am. I'm about 180 and most the guys I am attracted to are 250+. No matter how much weight I end up losing (had weight loss surgery), I doubt my taste in guys will change. I just find guys around my body size or slimmer kinda wimpy.

What will really piss you off is that my fiance and I are polyamourous. I've got three SOs at the moment. Let the flame fest begin!

Anonymous said...

Men are not objects to be traded by women. To refer to "my fat man" makes it seem like he doesn't have the right to choose whoever he wants as a partner, that he is obligated to date you based on your size. No one owes it to you to be your boyfriend, and nothing has been stolen from you just because someone you like chooses to date someone other than you.

I am white and my boyfriend is black (and we're both fat, by the way), and it seems to me that the resentment you're describing here is the same sort of thing as the anger I often experience from black women. They feel that there are few enough "good" (educated, stable job, no criminal record, no children) black men out there and that I'm wrong to "steal" one of them away when I could just as easily date a white man. The black man/white woman combo is more prevalent than black woman/white man couples, and white women already have all of the advantages in our still racist society, so they feel that it's not "fair" for me to take a black man out of the dating pool. The nasty, vicious comments I've gotten while out in public with him are really frightening.

I'm sorry if you feel that people prejudge you based on your size. But finding someone to love us is hard for everyone, and no one owes it to you to fall in love with you. People have free will, and just as you're free to lust after fat men, they're free not to reciprocate your lust.

Jill said...

I don't see that fat men are more accepting of larger women than skinny men.
I once met a guy who weighted 340 pounds and he told me that he only likes petite girls. Fair enough.

A friend once did not date a girl because she was too skinny for him, and he is the thin muscular type.

I am 190 pounds at 5' 11". So far every man that was interested in me was less heavy. And most were not even taller.
I don't think that, for example, tall men are supposed to like me better than women under 5'6".

And I don't think that, where sexual relationships are concerned, it is all about the character.
While of course someone is unsexy to me if I find him boring etc., I have to take the body to bed.
And everyone has the right to have a preferred body type, I think.

What I don't get is a kind of hostility several guys seem to have towards larger women, starting from size 14 upwards.

~loveme~ said...

i have felt that same hostility from guys i considered friends.. not any more. One of my guy friends who isnt thin per se, but not huge, about 5'5 200lbs, told me once that guys only like girls who weigh 125lbs or less. I was like... shit.. my little sister is a size 9 and weighs more than that!!! Sorry... but shit like that disgusts me!!!

Anonymous said...

You're problem is that you live in either NY or LA, move to the midwest...there are plenty of fat men to go around.

Anonymous said...

Amen about the Midwest -- this blog would not even exist if you guys lived in the big flyover, because I would say 75% of people are overweight, and a good 50% are obese. The kind of persecution you feel in NY or LA as a fat person is comparable to the persecution I feel as a skinny person (5'3", 103 lbs) in the midwest. I am in the minority, and as you well know, everybody hates a skinny bitch. I can hear your tiny violin from here.

Anonymous said...

hey, there are plenty of men out there (skinny and fat) that like fat girls -

it's just the fear factor. the being seen in public thing (men are easily scared, poor things -

but the answer is to dress really well, and act like you know you're hot, and be the wittiest person in the room (and not self-deprecating wit) -

and the fat kind of becomes a non-issue.

Anonymous said...

"The kind of persecution you feel in NY or LA as a fat person is comparable to the persecution I feel as a skinny person (5'3", 103 lbs) in the midwest"

No it's not. That's the silliest thing I've ever heard.

"everybody hates a skinny bitch"

um...they probably don't hate you because you're skinny. they hate you because you're a bitch.

Anonymous said...

I weigh 150 pounds and was regularly called a "snow cow" by 300+ men.

Don't blame the girls here. At my school it's all about the guys thinking they deserve super models no matter what THEY look like, and then somehow getting what they want.

Jan said...

There are crazy men with impossible standards of all sizes. It is the "George Costanza syndrome", as a poster here dubbed it.

I have a male friend (skinny BTW) who hates/is terrified of hips. So in his view, any woman with hips is fat. Gisele is fat, cause she has a curvy waist. Elizabeth Hurley is not fat, cause she has no waist and thus appears to have no hips. He really means that. To him, Gisele and Camryn Manheim are in exactly the same category, no difference, so his personal criteria is crazier than the criteria of the media and the fashion industry.

I've explained to him over and over that Liz Hurley is 5" shorter and at least 20lb heavier than Gisele and thus she can't be "thinner", but he won't get it through it his head. Needless to say, he's had like 5 dates in the past 7 years. Good luck finding a stick-thin hipless woman who'll want your ass.

Anonymous said...

My husband and I were both fat when we got together, then a couple of years ago I lost weight. So don't hate me for being with a large guy. Sometimes it just happens like that I guess.

also, I can't eat cheeseburgers anytime I want. Most slim women can't in my experience.

Anonymous said...

I can eat cheeseburgers anytime I want.

The trick is training your mind/body not to crave things like that. Yoga (specifically Bikram) has really helped me keep my unhealthy cravings in check.

So, I'll eat a cheeseburger about once every two-three weeks (with mayonaise) for a treat. Unless I'm visiting my boyfriend in Ohio and we go to Ted's and then it's more like once a week because there I can have a bison burger, which is leaner and healthier.