Wednesday, July 20, 2005

Panni, front butts, and a mannus

The image*** above shows a great depiction of a pannus. I have a pannus. Lindsey has a pannus. some pannuses are small, some are big. I would say mine is above average. It's the only thing I have ever excelled in. I may not be in the 90th percentile of my class, but I'm in the 90th percentile of my pannus...and that's all that counts.

My co-worker, we'll call him Bill, has a pannus. Actually, Bill is so big I think we should call his a Mannus. Bill, I think, is getting up to almost 400lbs. I'm proud to call him a co-worker. Bill likes to show his Mannus off. He does this by wearing shirts that are too short. He doesn't seem to care about his Mannus.

I do care. I'll go as far and as fat to cover my pannus up with sweatshirts tied around my waist and long t shirts. I wear men's t shirts. They cover my pannus. They do not cover Bill's Mannus. Such is life.

Fat girl stores such as Lane Bryant (Dear Ms. Bryant, I love your bras...thanks for your support, love, Em) Torrid, and the plus size online section of Gap and Old Navy don't get it. They don't understand that women who are large have pannuses and like to keep them covered up. They think we like halter tops. They think we love showing off our "front butt". I am here to tell you, NO MORE FRONT BUTT!

My uncle has a very interesting pannus. I call it his butt stomach (not to be confused with front butt). His butt stomach is a mix between a pannus and an ass. Imagine this...a normal pannus with a strange crease running from his belly button all the way down his pannus and eventually under it, into no man's pannus land.

No Man's Pannus Land

No Man's Pannus Land is the place under a pannus. Don't know what I'm talking about? You're lucky. I'll tell you a little diddy about my NMPL. I had a rash under it once. I think it's because it got moist under there after either a shower or sweating in the heat. It's definitely not from me working out. Anyway, I noticed a burning...under my pannus. I went to the bathroom to see what it was and low and behold, a pannus rash. I had heard of them, but always thought it would never happen to me. Long boring story short, I make sure to dry my NMPL very well...as well as my boobs, which are like mini panni. It's been a year and I'm Pannus Rash free.

Praise the Lord. Hallelujah! Coke before Pepsi.

*** Please note: We voluntarily removed the pics from our site because, well, we didn't ask permission to use them and that made us feel icky.But please keep in mind that if you google the words "pannus" "fat" "belly" "abdominoplasty", you are sure to find some awesome pics of fat panni and bellies in all of their glory...

12 comments:

Anonymous said...

I'm torn. I really love how your comfort with your own body, good sense of humor, pride in yourself that isn't measured in lbs and the fact that you're pretty open about it all. On the other hand, I'm a bit bothered that your situation isn't motivation enough to change it. In the same breath that you express disgust in your situation you also seem to dismiss your ability to control it. You *are* empowered to change your life--you just have to make it a priority.

Mr. W said...

Jesus f'in christ... at least they don't going around posting on people's websites anonymously!!! Jack ass, you know what right now I'm feeling like getting empowered to whoop your ass. Only skinny people say shit like that...

Anonymous said...

I love my gf's pannus. She's a size 26, and has a big one. I think it's mega sexy, and gently knead it in my hands.
Thin girls and their bf's are sooo missing out.

jwilson07 said...

I'm 41, fast approaching beyond middle age and I just wanted to post my experience with "weighty" matters. The most exciting sexual partners I have had thru my life, ALL were fat girls. I apologize to the slender girls out there reading this, but your too busy being slender to be fun. A fat girl likes food, likes partners, likes being with people. She does not hold your body flaws up to the light, she just enjoys. So, after years of trial and error give me a chubby sexy woman everytime!

Anonymous said...

I think the disgust is the problem, & that self esteem is key.

mr.w, you're funny. :-)

tmi, 1:25pm.

I'm sure there are fun slender women out there, & not all fat women like food, partners, nor being with people - so many generalisations!

Hey, I'm fat, & I notice anybody's body flaws, fat, skinny, or in between.

Anonymous said...

I had a girlfriend who was quite large...I don't think she had a pannus, tho....I have heard of them being called "aprons".
Anyhow, she liked food, but she was mean spirited and definitely not the "jolly" type that so many big people are stereotyped to be...I agree that some thinner women can be fun, some large women can be bores and yes, I love food and sex, so I guess I am tunnes of fun! I have never heard the term "pannus" before, or described to such degree...It was quite educating. I really never knew that much about them. Thanks for posting...great info with a touch of humor.

Anonymous said...

We call a pannus on a man a FUDA (fat upper dick area.) On a woman: FUPA. (I'll let you figure out the "P".) But they only really qualify as a FUDA/FUPA if they are really low, and sort of merge into the upper thighs. And the correct usage of the term is "Man, did you see the awesome FUDA on that guy?!?"

GoBetty said...

Yo, I would call that a gunt - the very most lower pubic area that has become gut-like. Rock the pannus fatties. peace.

Ari said...

Wow. I can identify. Thanks for having the panni to post this.

Anonymous said...

do you think having a pannus is ... natural? being that big so that your stomach goes all the way down there can't be healthy... does your body want to have a pannus?

Anonymous said...

mr w at 5:22am...
'Only skinny people say shit like that...'

just because i was born smaller and i care about my health doesnt mean i talk shit.

its not the normal people world's fault that you fatties get pissed when we tell you how bad it is for you to be so overweight. go for a run or something? try and last more than 2 metres without having a heart attack okay?

Anonymous said...

If you have any suggestion as to what to do with the pannus when it flops around making thumping noises while running, I'm sure that plenty of people would go running. It's bad enough with the large boobs, can't imagine it being less uncomfortable in the groin area. Maybe even more so? Ladies have sports bras. Come up with a bra for the pannus, and you'd make some cash.