Friday, July 22, 2005

Tank Tops

Sadly, all I wanted for this summer was to be able to don a tank top and walk around. Yeah, that's it ... wearing a tank top in public was my summer goal and I failed miserably. New York summers are brutal and the humidity is a killer, especially for someone schlepping around an extra 150 extra lbs everyday!

I envy all the brave fat girls who dare to wear tank tops. There are the few chunksters who apparently don't notice or don't care that their arms look like a christmas hams sticking out of their shoulders.

The thing is that I notice when fat girls wear tank tops, and while I applaud them, I also know that I stare and inspect their fat, droopy, ugly, puckered, and stretch marked arms. So that means that if I wore a short sleeve shirt, people would look at my nasty arms, and I just couldn't take it.

The stoop in front of my office is an amazing place to people watch. As I sit in the heat, smoking a cigarette and sweating into my long sleeve shirt, I watch the little people walk by in their tank tops and the occasional fat girl in theirs, and I have come to a conclusion ... If I was a fat black girl I would be able to wear them as well.
Now, stay with me.... my thesis is basically this, "Fat black girls can wear tank tops without me wincing at their arms". Why is that? If anyone has a reason why this is so, or an opinion on the matter, I would love to hear it.

But in the meantime, all I have to say is that my summer wish is no longer the sad and apparently unachievable goal of wearing a tank top ... now all I want it to be black.

18 comments:

Rachel said...

Hey, enjoying the blog :) Great stuff, and funny too!

Anonymous said...

Yeah, fat black girls are confident. When you're confident, it shows, and you become more attractive. Unfortunately, after reading a bit of your blog, I can honestly say that I feel bad that you can't see your worth, especially to wear a tank top.
I'm one of "those guys" who likes and adores fat women. However, I don't care for insecurity, and have ended many a date because she keeps saying she has to lose weight, or "can't wear that".

jwilson07 said...

When will you sexy fat girls get a clue and ADVERTISE! Your lover is out there, but how can he tell if you dress like nanook of the north? If he is a BBW boy, and yes they are out there in droves, he will want to see those arms, AND especially that belly! I personally always check out a womans belly, and yes her arms too. Show off a bit! Black girls know men like this. They never bothered to listen to male fashion designers who want women to look strangely like little boys...

Anonymous said...

I think it's because black girls have such lovely smooth even toned skin?
Regarding the above comments, wouldn't most fat women prefer a man to just fall in love with them as an individual, not just because they're fat?

Anonymous said...

nothing better than a fatty under hot summer sun, wearing a tank top =)

Anonymous said...

Yeah, ok, most guys first notice a woman 's personality. Heh.
If a girl wants my attention, she'll be fat and show it proudly. After that, then we talk.

Jess said...

i know what it is.

it's cuz black girls can be mean and they sure can kick my ass, so analyzing their fat arms (even if just in my own head) is not at the top of my To Do List.


It is, however, at the top of my Piss Off a Big Black Woman List.

Come to cali. We fat girls love showing off our saggy skin and celluite in the summer.

lasheandra said...

I'm a black fat girl. And I have white fat girl friends, and they all say that black girls can wear their arms out. I don't think it's because of our skin tone, cause honey I have stretch marks too.

I agree with an earlier comment. We black girls tend to be a little more confident and comfortable in our skin. Have fun with it, without looking skanky.

And trust me, you're not the only person who wants to be black. Good luck!

floradoragirl said...

Im not sure of the "black girl" thing, but I do know that if I put some bronzer on my arms, (which are as white as aspirins, therefore look even larger and show every bump and lump) it actually improves the way my arms look.
Putting a light bronzer on (especially with and SPF) does make the arms look slimmer, more attractive and shows less bumps.
Hope that helps, wear a tank top!

Anonymous said...

I was all about to fall in love with your your blog before I got to this post. What the...? I'm so annoyed I can't even come up with a retort. The whole thing is just ignorant and wrong.

Anonymous said...

Black girls are generally not that atrractive anyhow, so not noticing their arms goes along with not noticing them peroid.

Regina said...

Okay, that last comment was just stupid. Besides that, why so many "anonymous" commenters?

GoBetty said...

What's a "BBW" guy?

Ari said...

A year later this is still funny as hell. Love this blog.

Anonymous said...

see a dietician, you'll feel so much better

Anonymous said...

racist ho

Anonymous said...

I think it's horrible that you wear long sleeved shirts when it's hot outside. Wear what is comfortable, a few looks at your arms is better than sweating to death.

Traci K said...

I actually understand what you mean. As a "fat girl" I have always wondered why large black women look good in clothes and when I try on the same outfit I cringe....I guess it is the confidence thing. Its like we expect to see a black woman with beautiful curves but not us white women....still working on my self image at 28