Monday, September 12, 2005

The SAVE LINDSEY CAMPAIGN

So, Lindsey has been hanging out with this guy we went to high school with and who recently moved to NY. Thing is, I hate this guy. Lindsey tells me not to hate because it's a waste of energy, but if I didn't put in any energy hating this guy, I'd never get any exercise.

This guy and Lindsey are just friends, and they've been friends for a long time. But, this guy is an asshole. Even she will confirm that he is an asshole. And he hates fatties!!!

How can a person who is fat hang out with a fatty hater? I asked Lindsey this, and she came back with the fact that I do hang out with Laura...but, at the same time, I feel that Laura, in a sick way, understands eating disorders, so, in your face Lindsey! This guy SO doesn't get it.

One time in high school I was at a party and was talking to the asshole. At this time I knew he was an asshole, but I didn't know what a fatty hater he was. It was then when he asked me, an equally fat person, why Lindsey was so fat? Couldn't she just stop eating?

First, I was like, are you seriously asking ME this? And then I thought, Lindsey is one of his best friends and he's acting like, surprise, an asshole. Lindsey never asked me why he was such an asshole and couldn't he just stop being an asshole? So, with that, I really started to hate this boy.

And now he lives in NY and has been hanging out with Lindsey. Funny enough, he's there to sell some kind of potato pastry he came up with and thinks he's going to make it big doing this. Funny how a fatty hater is going to try to sell food. What's he going to do, put up a sign saying fatties really shouldn't eat his potato concoction because fatties shouldn't eat?

So, I want to save Lindsey! Not only did she not call me this weekend because she was busy hanging out with the asshole, which hurts my fat feelings more than she will ever know, but I feel he's going to manipulate her into quitting school so she can work in his van mashing potatoes all day long.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hey, girl
I hear what you are saying....it must be very hard for you to know Lindsay is hanging out with a guy who would diss her.
I think that, maybe, she will find out eventually exactly what kind of an a*****e he is and stop hanging around with him. Something will slip, he will say something stupid, and she will call you to tell you just how much of an a*****e he really is!
You both sound like very intelligent women, so I don't think it will take her very long.
Hang in there!

Anonymous said...

is she in love with him ? people in love often manage not to see others flaws

emily pound said...

it sounds like she has a thing for him, which could be dangerous, especially since it goes back to high school and everything ... "my first love", all that crap. why else would she tolerate the asshole?

cross your fingers that the insanity will pass.

Mr. W said...

She likes him... I mean why else would you hang around an asshole. I personally love all those people that are so perplexed by those who are overweight. Those who ask, "Can't she just stop eating?"
I usually answer... "Well, you know it's hard. Kind of like trying to find a way to stop YOU from talking!!!"
Git R' Done!!!!

Ducky said...

Someday I will invent an anti-insanity spray, pocket-sized for your convienience. I'm guessing it will fly off the shelves.

But until then...

*crossing fingers*