Tuesday, September 20, 2005

Why Size 16 Should Not Be Allowed At Lane Bryant

I'm having a bit of a personal crisis. I have a baby shower to go to. Actually, I have two baby showers to go to and I'm the host of one of them. That's not the crisis per-say, the crisis is what I'm going to wear.

I recently raided my closet in an attempt to throw everything and anything that didn't fit out. I'm left with 3 t shirts, 2 pairs of jeans and 47 pairs of drawstring fat girl sweats. None of these are suitable for a baby shower. My heart rate increases just thinking about it and yesterday, while I was at work, it really started to freak me out. I'm about to go to a baby shower with nothing to wear and all the ladies that will be there are a size 6 and under...and they're all tiny. I don't know how my sister in law (who the baby shower is for), could find such tiny little friends, but, I'm starting to not like her for it.

I called Mary up and made an emergency plan to head to Lane Bryant after work. I had looked at their website and thought I could put something not too horrible together. I was pumped. So, when we got there, I picked up some items and headed for the dressing room. (Note to all the ladies out there, the LB has some really cute oxford shirts right now).

Anyway, I'm trying things on realizing that I'm no longer a size 20 when the girl in the next room starts celebrating and screaming to her shopping buddy.

It went like this:

"Stacey, I'm in a 16! Can you believe it!"

"Aw, Sam, I'm so proud of you, that's so awesome!"

And then I went in my head:

"Can't I just shop in fucking peace!"

I mean really, I just realized that my size 20 skirt was too damn tight and that I would have to be bumped to a size 22 and I was in a mini-depression from it. Last thing I needed to hear was two girls bragging about their awesome weight loss. And they kept going on, and on and on about all this weight loss. Weight loss this, weight loss that, drinking cranberry juice, fruits are nature's candy...blah blah blah.

I know I sound bitter. I know the girls weren't bragging, but were actually really proud of themselves. If it was me, I'd do the same. But, it wasn't me. And there I was 2 sizes up from what I thought I was and I was sad and nothing was fitting me right and I had visions of skinny girls in flowing skirts and tank tops pointing and laughing at me.

I must also add that they sell size 16 clothes at the Gap, etc. So, I don't think they should be allowed at Lane Bryant because it makes me feel badly. I know it wasn't a personal attack, but if they didn't sell a size 16 that wouldn't have happened, catch my drift?

I've decided that to look my best, I must be as comfortable as possible. So, I've decided to wear some jeans and if I can find a cute top, I'll try wearing that too. Actually, I've decided that I wanted to wear a cute polo, but the only polo's that fit me are men's polo's, so that sucks right off the bat. Seems that I can't keep up with the Joneses if I'm fat and I'm just going to have to accept that. How fucked up is that!


Laura Bora from Bufadora said...

Oh Lame Giant...our hope, our hell.

I hate "having" to have something to wear, I can never find anything that I don't hate.

For example, I went to PA to visit my grandfather and after we left his nursing home, he died. I stayed down there for five days, but had only intended to stay ONE day so I had nothing appropriate for the funeral. I had to go to Lame Giant because everything at Target and Walmart was too hideous for me, even their black stuff.

I ended up buying a pair of charcoal gray pants that accentuated the roundness of my lower abdominal roll and this black top that I hated two seconds after I bought it. I actually donated that top to a church tag sale the second I got home because I hated it so much, and was pissed that I spent $40 for an ugly shirt that reminded me of my grandfather.

Your blog rocks.

Anonymous said...

Have you tried www.torrid.com?

Walking into Torrid always makes me feel like a princess. Not only does everything in the store fit me, but it's young and fashionable.

Of course because the world hates fat girls, it's kind of expensive, but sometimes it's worth it to walk out with something cute without having gone through the Dressing Room Drama.

Anonymous said...

Wow, that sounds like an annoying experience. I don't understand why more retailers don't meet the needs of women who are 18+. If other retailers followed the example of Torrid, they'd be incredibly successful.

Love your writing, keep it up!

Anonymous said...

The vanity sizing at Lane Bryant makes for a terrible experience when you take your Lane-Bryant-size-16 body into a store like the Gap and discover they don't make clothes that big.

Anonymous said...

I have been fat for 20+ years. I have simplified my life and my wardrobe. I wear black tunics and black pants. I buy 5 at a time. I am a size 24. I wear fabulous ethnic jewelry. I especially like giant Tibetan and Indian pendants. Skinny women can't wear great pieces like I can. They would look like they had a third tit but on me the piece can be displayed proudly on my chest. I can get dressed for work, a party, or church in 5 minutes. Face it, no one looks at the fat girl and it doesn't matter what we look like so long as we like how we look.

Amelie Christianson said...

Here is the thing- your blog is awesome. I read it almost every day (i have no life) and you always make me laugh (in a good way). Thanks for not being a fatty hater or insulting everyone on your blog.

Daphne :) said...

I love your blog too! You actually inspired me to start a blog of my own... the only difference is that I'm actually trying to gain weight haha. So thanks for the daily amusement!

mainja said...

sigh. what i wouldn't do for a lane bryant or a torrid in ontario.

yep, time for a trip to buffalo to hit the fat lady stores...

Anonymous said...

Why can't you be happy for other fat people? Stop complaining about being fat and do something about it!

Anonymous said...

Happy for other fat people? What are you talking about? These girls seem to enjoy fat people and we're all allowed to complain.

I think you should just calm down there with your rude comments!

Anonymous said...

I don't see any happiness here, just bitter fatgirls who complain about skinny girls, even if the skinny girls are nice and family. Stop being lazy, put down the donut and get some exercise.

I have not read one positive thing on this blog for the past month and I read it every day. 90% of the time I love it and get a chuckle but lately it's all a bunch of bitching and whining.

Nana said...

For anonymous directly above me, if it is that big of a deal to you, stop reading the blog. That is the beauty of the United States, the Fatty McBloggers (who rock!!) can blog and you don't have to read it. Also, that donut comment was extremely bitter and unecessary. Maybe you aren't happy either.

Anonymous said...

I agree with Nana! I love the blog because it strips away all the frills and gets down to the bare truth! Being fat really does suck, whether you are a 16 or a 26, we all have experiences being people of size. It's nice that there are people who aren't afraid to tell it like it is, and not worry about being so politically correct about it!
Thanks girlz! You are awsome

Anonymous said...

Hey, the internet is international, not just American!!

Anonymous said...

I love donuts.

Anonymous said...

I am currently an 18 and if you are anywhere in the 16 - 20 size range, then for basics (t-shirts, jeans, etc.), Old Navy is great. They usually have pants and jeans in sizes up to at least a 20, and their XXL shirts fit great. I just went on Saturday and bought about 10 long sleeved v-neck layering t-shirts, and they all look very cute. Sure, some of it is cheap crap, and probably not suitable for going out or going to work, but as a SAHM who lives in tees of one kind or another, I like it.

Man, never thought I'd be a shill for Old Navy.

Anonymous said...

Old Navy even has plus-sizes on their website...hot damn! I am a shill as well, sorry.

And the craptacular thing about Lane Bryant is that the person who can fit into a 16 with room to spare will go to any other store and have to skulk back out, realizing she's NOT a size 16 anywhere else but Lane Bryant. What a load, I say.

Anonymous said...

And it's not just LB either - same way at the Canadian fat-stores. I'm getting so a 18 is a bit loose. I think my next pair of trousers will be a 16. But I know I couldn't "cross the floor" and try on a non-plus 15, it probably would get stuck halfway up my fat legs.

- a different anonymous

Anonymous said...

The haters need to remove Fatty McBlog from their favorites list and MOVE THE FUCK ON!!!!

Get over it people, if you dont like what you read or how they've wrote it, CLICK THE 'X' and quit complaining!!

These girls are FAB!!

Undine's Soul said...

Does anyone remember MODE magazine? It was amazing! It was geared toward young, sexy, normal size women (let's face it...14+ is normal, at least in the US.) It went under after 9/11. So sad! I had withdrawal pains for months.

All of the existing "plus-size" magazines appear to have my mother as their target audience. Who wants to hide under a brightly-colored, floral TENT?!?!

MODE magazine was the best! If anyone has found a great plus-size fashion mag, please let me know on my blog.

Regina said...

There are lots of "anonymous" posts here.

surrahgee said...

This is an old post--I've just found this fantastic blog and am reading all of the archived stuff--but I wanted to clear something up about LB sizing.

Lane Bryant's 14-28 are women's sizes. The 14-20 you might find in the Gap or other "straight" sized stores are extended misses sizes. Lane Bryant doesn't use vanity sizing--a women's 16 is a lot bigger than a misses 16. If you check the sizing charts of someplace like LB or Torrid and the Gap, you'll see the difference.

So...those girls screming in the dressing room about theur size 16 victory actually have TWO MORE SIZES to lose until they get into a misses 16. Depressing, right?

Anonymous said...

Warwick Kelly here,

Girls, you do your thing. I'm sick of the world trying to conform us to small clothes. We need to eat, and we need the space!