We here at Fatty McBlog occasionally like to embark on pseudo-scientific experiments to see if we can shed some light on living life as a fat girl. Obviously there is much emphasis on the word pseudo...
We posted an ad on New York's Craigslist which asked men to respond about their feelings regarding dating a fat woman.
Our ad, entitled Would You Ever? said: "Would you ever date a fat girl? What if she were "perfect" in every other way except she carries a lot of extra weight? What if she were intelligent and funny and interesting and pretty and had a great job, but she was a bbw (and not just a little chubby)? Would you ever consider dating her? Would you rather date someone really ugly or really fat? If you wouldn't date a fat girl, please include your reasons. I am interested in this topic since an overweight friend of mine recently told me that none of the men she knows treat her like a "woman" aka they don't find her attractive and none of them ever think of her in a romantic way. Please send me your honest responses. Thanks! "
I found that many people will be more honest in this medium because it is sort of anonymous and you can respond with what you really think without any repercussions. I think the answers we received are interesting because I am fascinated with how people think about the overweight in this society. And it's sort of shocking how many people responded to this ad in the first few minutes of it being up...I guess there are a lot of men who want to weigh in on the subject.
These are some of the responses we have received, hope they are enlightening (about how men who read CL ads view fat women) or at least entertaining (I didn't correct any grammer or spelling mistakes):
- because fat girls are ugly?
- to me, it's un-attractive and indicates a hellava lot of selfish,self centered type of behavior.
- well sweetie there are men you are chubby chasers and enjoy a cubby woman , But theres also and its the majority of men who feel cubby/fat women are like a motor scooter they 're fun to ride till your friends see you on one :) horrible I know but come on you did chuckle enjoy and keep smiling !
- I have dated an overweight girl. I have dated an ugly girl. It wasn't that bad. The ugly thing, that's just skin deep. However, the overweight thing is a matter of health.
- Well I would get a nice Blow job from her cause I know that she givesreally good head.....But not date her ........Maybe take her home froma bar and let her do it!!
- maybe b/c when she takes her clothes off and we see all he cellulite dripping from her bod it will make us throw up. and if your desperate enough to put up with that then we would never want her to be seen by our friends and family who might think she is gross too......thats my honest opinion
- uhhmm, I think you know the answer to this one. Why don't you date short guys? There has to be some physical, sexual attraction. I think you're wrong anyway. Some guys see fat girls as an easy score.
- Sexuality and attraction go hand in hand with dating. Someone who is perfect in every way, except for being visually and sexually appealing, would make a wonderful friend. But, since I am not in the least bit attracted to seriously overweight women, I would never date one.
- Attraction is not a choice..
- thats because the men she knows are very chidish,there is nothing wrong with a fat woman is the person inside that matters. life is to short to judge people on the way they look is pretty sad if you ask me.
- i would definitely date a fat girl not as easily as an ugly girl. i think people do give characteristics (non physical) a big role, sometimes the 'big momma' complex, the more cushion for the pushin, yet for being ugly (which is harsh to say) is definitely becoming the 'new' discrimination. deep down inside i think all men have even fantasized about a fat girl...look a the fetish world there is even a fat XXX mag out there...
- Hey there, I love BBW’s if they have a cute face and proportional weight distribution. Tell your friend that there are events exclusively for BBW’s and men that love them all over the city, just search the internet.
- I've dated fat girls but there are some issues.. they are too overweight or out of shape to make love with and that them being fatis not the issue but it's a reflection of themselves (unable to takecare of themselves, etc.) One of the ones I've gone out with had amessy apt, never cleaned the coffee maker... that kind of thing (I rarely see it with thin girls)
- I’ve always looked beyond the exterior and dated the person, not the body.
- It's the friend complex. You want your friends to think yourgirlfriend is hot or cute. Would you date a guy if all your friendstold you he was ugly? You might, but it would definitely put someunwanted strain on things right? I dated a larger girl once and yeahmy friends cracked jokes, but that's not why I ended it.Now, personally I like to work out and take care of myself, so I'd liketo date a girl who does the same. It's a common interest thing. I'dwant to do active things with the girl I date. It's the same reasonwhy I won't date someone who's supermodel-thin but won't do anythingbecause she might break a nail.
- cuz chubby girls stink down there
- hmm all pussy tastes the same i date both
- It's a simple matter of attraction - 98% of guys are not attracted to big women. You can't deny men love hot chicks...
- I'm 23 and for me it doesn't really make much of a difference. I'll date any kind of girl if we get along. For guys in general, they want to keep their image in check. They can't be seen dating a "fat" chick because he'll be abused to no end by his friends. Besides that, the "fat" chick doesn't fit the general stereotype of what kind of girls guys like. Hopefully that helped out. Anything further you'd like to know, feel free to email me.
- they are insecure and they give off that vibe soon as a thin attractive women comes into the room. Fat girls always assume we are comparing looks and shit. We (men)don't compare, that is down right shitty and not cool, no one like to be compared to an one else. most fat girls are warm fun and even attractive when you get past the whole insecurity thing.
- why don't women date short guys? usually, tall is the first thing they mention in their list of qualifications -- tall, dark and handsome. statistically, there just aren't enough tall guys to meet all that demand. women might be able to get slimmer, but guys can never get taller... those are the breaks.
- I would date any type of girl as long as she can stimulate my mind and there has to be chemistry. Looks wise, I’ve dated almost every kind of girl there is. I am really leaning more toward genuine people who can carry a conversation.
- honestly i would not date a fat girleven if she is 23even though im in my late 40sbecause her being fat demonstrates that she doesnt respect herselfand if she doesnt respect herself, i know that down the road that she wont respect meand second, it just isnt attractive from an evolutionary standpoint...the fat people move slower and are more sedentary and more likely to be attacked and injuredwhich is why there is a very natural aversion to fat people..men or women...women might have it harder because men are attracted to the hourglass figure..which gets them turned on..whereas women are more likely to accepta heavier man since they look more for security and power and money which even a fat man can do...my advice is for her to get off her fat ass, dont expect men or quality men to want to walk with her on the street or even in private if she doesnt start to respect herself...its easy..put on her sweats..and do cardio...30 or 40min..once or even twice a day..eat 3 normal meals and 3 snacks...DONT EAT JUNK FOOD DONT EAT JUNK FOOD..the last thing a man or woman can stand is looking at a fat man or woman eat..it is not PRETTY!
- Well I think every man is different and exactly howfat is fat? Some guys think its 130lbs and some thinkits 190lbs. But pretty much if you are over 220 thenthat is defiantly fat!Now most foreign men for the Middle East like theirwomen bigger, some black guys too especially blackguys form Africa, so may be if you know what you arelooking for it will make it easier to find.
- I would so date a big girl. I would rather datesomeone who is big with flesh on their bones and softcurvy corners than date someone who is skinny. Now ifyour are 5 7 and 150 lbs you are skinny for me. I would date someone who is cute and verychubby over someone cute and thin. Infact I have neverdated anyone who is thin or skinny. I am simply notattracted to them. I believe bigger girls have more to offer. Lol..
- I would and have dated girls who are bbw's, above avg, are more well roundedthan most. Though it's hard to find one that can balance sex appeal andconfidence with all the other beautiful traits they possess.Most were intelligent, funny, interesting, pretty, had a great job, greatlovers, and great to be with...but most also lacked confidence, did notcarry themselves as high as they could, always said but made no efforts tobetter themselves even with my help and motivation. In short they lacked sexappeal. A woman is a woman, but unless she feels like a woman most men will nottreat her like one. Do it for yourself first, then when you find someonethat can and will appreciate you for you, be a woman to that man. Theromance will follow.
- I just recently met a woman who responded to my ad on CL. The first time I called her we wound up talking for over three hours.The next day when I met her to go to a dinner party with her I met a very pretty,and cute woman.She is very well rounded,and I've never been with a woman as such.But,to tell you the truth I already like her very much.And her roundness does'nt make me like her any less.In fact I feel it would be very comfortable sleeping with her.
I may not be like most guys,but to me a persons personality is what makes a person beautiful.
Have a wounderful day.
- First, many men may find your friend unattractive...and that's okay. However, she really only needs to find one man (I assume) who will dig her. I'd offer that her perception might be skewed a bit by her own self esteem. Personally, a woman either is sexy and charismatic or she's not.If she's funny and she's good in bed...there are ALWAYS quality guys (not assholes) who will want to get to know her.I am not a physically attractive man. I'm tall with broad shoulders and built like a football lineman. However, I have small chin and my face is, well...I'm no Brad Pitt. Plus a 4.5" dick. However, I REALLY like women. I like everything about them...and it shows. It's all about confidence.Are there women who will stop dating me because I have a small dick? Sure. Just like there are guys who won't date a fat chick. I'm VERY good with my tongue and I'm sure your friend has talent and assets that make her attractive.For a long term relationship...I would have concerns about her health and mobility.
- Because it's repulsive. "Really" ugly is also repulsive. But, there's more latitude as to face than as to obesity. Obese is obese, flab is flab, girth is girth, -- even in the dark it's repulsive.
... and in 99% of the cases, it's voluntary. A woman has little control over her face, but she can take care of her weight -- diet, exercise, etc. So, if she's really fat, she doesn't care about her health or appearance, or pleasing her boyfriend. She stuffs her mouth to satisfy some neurotic desire other than normal hunger for food and nutrition. So. it goes to issues of character too -- the fat girl has a character defect. Of course men are excited by the visual and the svelte woman is more beautiful. But, it's not just that a woman in the normal weight range excites more lust.
- no
So, there it is, the responses we received in a little over 45 minutes on Craigslist. I had to take it down because this post is really really long (our longest ever!). What do you guys think about what they had to say? Were you surprised, amused, saddened, or could you care less?
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439 comments:
«Oldest ‹Older 401 – 439 of 439I hope the responders will be happy to know, that we wouldn't want to date them either. I don't care what they say, because they've proved themselves to be selfish, childish, jerks.
98% of guys is pretty rediculous, as far as statistics. It's like, you don't know everyone in the world and their culture and perspectives on women. Alot of the responders just seem like the losers who never left high school. Belive you me, these men will be the ones who have nobody to share their lives with.
I think all the women taking offense to majority of these comments (though I do agree that some were down right nasty) need to stop and ask themselves if they would date a really fat man. Or really short man. Or really hairy man. Etc.
As a former fat chick (halfway to becoming a thin chick), I used to get upset that some men seemed so shallow. But if I am honest with myself, I know there are qualities in men that would make me classify them as 'un-datable'.
There has to be physical attraction in a relationship. Otherwise it is friendship. Unfair, but that's life.
I LOVE BIG WOMEN,THE BIGGER THE BETTER,i have been with many and it always is great sex. i am proud to take them out where everyone sees me with a big girl.to each thier own - cya
I don't care if this board is dead...
I did a google search to find out if guys were at all attracted to fat women. I'm 17 years old, and I've never had a guy like me. Ever. I've been fat my entire life. I just wanted to know if there was something wrong with me, personally, or if it was just because I was fat.
When I came to this site, I was expecting just a bunch of guy's post saying yes or no. I understand the fact that it's just whether or not it turns them on. I don't think men are shallow for not being attracted to fat women. There are several types of men that I'm not attracted to. After all, I'd never date a midget. It would creep me out. That's fine. Whatever.
I read to become informed, but as the posts went on, it was torture. I can deal with guys not liking me because of my weight. If that's really true, then I'll just change to make myself more appealing. But some of these posts were so cruel.
It seems like half of the harsh anti-fat posters believe that a fat person would just get up and go for a run, they wouldn't have a problem. But that's so stupid. I can only truly speak for myself, so I will. I was raised without exercise. The most I can run is up a flight of stairs. I am physically -unable- to run any more than that, and even if I did, it wouldn't make me thin. For a while, I exercised for an average of two hours a day, and monitered what I ate very carefully. I lost an average of 1lb a week. One pound. That's nothing! I'd have to lose about 100lbs before I'd consider myself attractive. Therefore, it would take me 100 weeks of absolute misery to become thin, assuming I followed through completely. Then for the rest of my life, I'd have to work to maintain it. When you try so hard, and totally change your daily life, when you take away something that has helped you to get along so many times in the past, and the reward is only 1/700 of what you need... it doesn't seem worth it. When I diet, I feel like there's a part of me missing. No, not some fat, HAR HAR, that's not what I mean.
Near July, my mother was very sick and went to the hospital. She had a very serious kidney infection. During that time, she was in horrendous pain and could barely eat. Because of it, she lost 30lbs. It makes me feel evil, but I can't help but to think that she got an easy out. I've prayed many times that I could get a new chance, either a re-birth or extreme weight loss from a temporary health issue. If I could start thin, I'd be able to stay thin. First of all, exercising would be incredibly easier. I wouldn't have as much weight to carry around, and I wouldn't have to be ashamed of myself. Part of the reason why exercising is so difficult, apart from the fact that it IS physically difficult, is that I feel like everyone is staring at me and hating me when they look at me. I'm afraid of going to a gym. I'm afraid of walking outside. Now that she's thin, I can't even bear to try to exercise in front of my mother. But if I were thin, I wouldn't care! Nobody would look in a condemning way. It would be okay. I'd be allowed to go outside, to do things in front of other people. I'd have their approval.
It's funny. Some people say, "It doesn't matter what you look like as long as you have confidence!" But how can you? When there are people like this all around... people with so much hatred... how can you have confidence? It doesn't even make sense. Why do these people do it? You, you people! You people who hate us! Why do you have to be so cruel? It's one thing to say that you're not attracted. It's another to be as awful as some of you are. What is your goal? Why do you feel the need to say it? It doesn't help. The "yes" or "no" helps. That's informative. That helps to set the importance of a goal. But when I read the things that you say, they're not inspiring. They're hurtful. And, as I've done for my whole life, when I get depressed, food makes me feel better. No, I'm not blaming you for my being fat, I'm just saying that you're not helping. Which is true. You're not. So then what's the point? Are you trying to hurt us? That's so cruel. How can someone just happily sit down at their keyboard and try to hurt people? It's evil! It's the very definition of evil! If this board were active, I'm sure one of them would rant and reply to me about freedom of speech. Yes, that's a US law. But it doesn't cover morality. Nobody here said, "Gee willickers, is there any way for me to stop being fat? Because I'm pretty sure it's physically impossible for a person to lose weight, doncha know." They just wanted to know a simple truth. Are men attracted to fat women?
To the anti-fat women: The question hadn't been directed towards you. You didn't even answer it in a way that would have made sense. For example, "In my experience, none of the men I've known have ever asked the phone number of fat women." You see, that would have answered the question from a woman's point of view. There was no ranting about how fat women are all lazy and greedy and dirty. Because that's not true, and it's just unessesary. All you did was create pain and anger.
To the anti-fat men: To some, thank you for your input. To others, a simple "no" would have sufficed.
If anyone replies to this, I can't say that I'll read it or reply back. I can't take any more pain. If I ever manage to get thin, it will be because I want to please a man with my appearance, or to please myself. None of the attacks I have faced throughout my life have helped me. The only result was my gaining more weight. I have good friends right now, so I've kept stable for the last few years. But I have a feeling that reading this may cause a gain. I truly hope not and I will try to keep myself from eating. I want somebody I love to love me.
I am 17 years old.
I am 5'2.
I weigh 211lbs.
to all the women: It just proves that at the end of the day that the majority of men are immature and shallow pigs and it also proves that the one man who does love me is that little bit more extra special than all the others out there and you all will find one too!
To all the men who think fat is bad and repulsive: get a clue you sad fucks. It's about what's inside, we're no different to regular slim women. We have all the same parts and wants and needs. If your just to pathetic to understand that then you are the ones with the problems, not us!!
I'm 22 and I weight 210 lbs and I'm 5'8. Got a problem with it? because I dont!
One thing that really winds me up is when anyone, man or woman says "I can't do anything about it, it's genetic" I call BS. previous generations didnt have the obesity problem that seems to plague western culture, why, because our lives are too convienient, its too easy to drive to the supermarket instead of walking, we drive to work as we work farther away, jobs are less physical these days, our diets are bad, full of processed foods.
People need to get I can't do anything about it out of their head, and realise it's a case of I don't want to do anything about it, then actually start to do something about it.
I tell you, a year ago, I was getting fat, and unhappy, my diet was bad, I didnt get enough exercise. Rather than say I can't do anything, I improved my diet, oats/porridge for breakfast, tuna salad for lunch (homemade),evening meals are a modest portion of meat, potatoes/rice and all the veg I can eat, no cakes, chips, crisps at all, no ready meals or anything, I went running with a friend twice a week, and eventually joined a gym and went weight training, I won't lie to you, it hurt like hell, it was a chore, somedays I hated it and wanted to pack it all in, but I perservered, a year later and I lost a stone and a half, I am fitter & stronger and happier with myself. Don't expect the weight to go instantly either, its a bloody hard graft and takes a while to see any change, but once off, the weight stays off.
I know guys would think that way. I don't date arseholes, so I'm not going to lose much sleep over some pig not wanting to date me. I am on a diet and when I get slim, I'm going to be choosy too. The guy must be tall, good build, attractive looking in the face with no big nose or ears. His penis must be big and he can't have a loser job and must have lots of money. So there, you shits it can work both ways.
So when is the opposite test being performed?
I love fat girls (el_nomada18@hotmail.com)
There are some sad men out there. In my own experience I have found about a third of men like "well rounded women". Unfortunately most are not like me (I publicly appreciate BBWs), they hide the fact that they are attracted to BBWs because they have low self esteems and do not think they could take the criticism of others for being attached to a larger woman. The extreme of this effect is the guys (if you can call them that) who abuse BBWs in an attempt to distract attention away from their own hardons.
BBWs, unfortunately do make things VERY hard (please no pun intended) for BBW lovers. In fact it is easier more often than not to form a relationship with a thin woman. BBWs may have been abused a lot, but when a man is publicly showing appreciation and/or affection, he probably means it. The funny thing is that I have met a fair amount of BBWs who ignore BBW lovers and/or BHMs because they are ONLY interested in the popular body builder in the corner covered with the adoring thin women. I do not expect BBWs to settle for less, but so many close off all their other options.
I read this, I am a girl.
Yes, one can be proactive about their health. Can she climb up a flight of stairs? I don't agree with starving oneself. And yes, weight can be genetic, but ones level of itness it not. Drive less, walk/bike more. Simple things can make you healthier. And i have some very very close overweight friends. They are insecure, that no matter what they do they won't lose weight. Then i have overweight friends who will still work out, or not even that, but proactivley chose a healthier lifestyle.
Secondly, chemistry is important. I have a few extremely attractive male friends, but the idea of something sexual with them repulses me, why? no chemistry. I also have not so attractive male friends, who i sometimes have more chemistry with. Not saying, i have no spark with attractive guys and vice versa. Just saying the chemical part of a relationship simply needs to exist.
finally, really, 45 minute responses. Who the fuck are you guys? Lonely, bored people who spend their time browsing about on craigslist responding to stuff cos you know, you just didn't want to go out ito the real world. Whatever!
p.s. - why do fat girls always feel compulsed to ask skinny girls if they are anorexic?
Fat girls seem to ask skinny girls(me) if they are anoerexic . COmments such as "OMFG do you ever eat?" are rude. I too am insecure about my lack of ass and tiny boobs.
I have learned to respond asking them if they hav an eating disorder. I used to usually go eat with them and sit there to prove my point. But i grew out of that.
EVERY SKINNY GIRL ISN"T AOEREXIC. get over it
"I workout seven days a week, but still weigh 240. Ever hear of genetics?"
There are more and more fat girls in America who say this. I can't really blame them because I had the same mindset when I was overweight.
I'm a guy, used to be 225 lbs with a gut, on my way to being really fat, but now I'm 175 lbs which is good for someone 6'2".
When you blame genetics, you are basically saying that all your ancestors were naturally over 200 lbs. You're arguing throughout history, in your family line, in the 1800s, 1700s all the way back to the Paleolithic era that your ancestors were too fat to climb a tree or run away from a saber-tooth tiger. Someone over 200 lbs definitely couldn't survive in that environment, and that's where your genetics come from.
No it's not genetics. It's the modern American diet. When you say you eat healthy, unless you are cooking EVERY meal for yourself, you are not eating healthy. Those granola bars that you think are healthy, that lean cuisine frozen dinner, or that Italian dressing on your salad... they all have High Fructose Corn Syrup in them. HFCS changes your metabolism, makes you think you are still hungry, and is processed different by your body than natural sugars in fruit... mainly that it is turned directly into fat.
If you go to any restaurant in America you are not eating healthy, period. You have to cook every single meal for yourself and make things with unprocessed fruits and vegetables while being mindful of the sauces you use on stir fry and pasta/vegetable dishes.
For the longest time I couldn't lose weight and I used to kill myself jogging and my knees were taking a punishment. Then I quit my job, cooked every meal for myself making sure I cut out all HFCS (it's harder than you think, you can't eat bread because that has it in it), but after I did that it was easy to lose weight.
I am not physically attracted to overweight women. You don't have to have a model-esque figure but I'm not going to lie and say that skinnier tends to be better (except if you're so skinny that i can see your ribs or something). Other than that I like to eat healthy, run, and workout so a "fat chicks" life style would not jive with me.
I think we should have another discussion in direct relation to this one for girls, "Would you date a shallow selfish man?".
I wouldn't date anyone who was overweight for the same reason I wouldn't date somebody who smokes, gambles or goes to church.
It's destructive behavior and I prefer to avoid it.
The majority of you guys make me sick. First off, don't take advice from the men at CL. They are as desperate as the guys that go to a nude beach and end up with a thousand guys to one girl. Am I the only guy that really doesn't care one bit about a girl's weight? Maybe it's because my friends and I don't sit around and make fun of 'fat chicks' or whomever is dating one. You only live once, don't regret wasting it by poking fun at others when you may have missed out on the most amazing girl of your life that would have brought you total happiness. Instead you are lurking on CL hoping Natalie Portman leaves a post of "Looking For One Night Stand!" Egads. (I'm sure some wonderful people have hooked up through CL, but to me that just seems tacky and forced. Let it develop from a more natural situation like, oh I don't know, discussing big girls on a blog ;) I have dated all sizes of women and found them all to be varying degrees of physical attractiveness, As far as sexiness goes it is much hotter to get 'the look' from a girl you dig than to see some hot skinny chick walk bye where you can stare at her arse for 3 seconds then it's gone. (That's where us guys have the ability to take 'mental snapshots' for...uh....later use.
I have met some great fat girls. They had a great sense of humour, were kind, and sexy in their own way. Buy I could not get over there weight, it was just not attractive. I wish I could, those girls would have been great fun, better than some of the skinny girls I have gone out with, but I couldn't.
Well. Ever seen that film Shallow Hal?
the thought of my hand disappearing between the folds makes my skin crawl
This is a screwed up world.
The men who honnestly say they are not attracted to fattys are written off as immature. These men cannot do anything about what they are attracted to but that is not acceptable to the fatties.
On the other hand, the fattys certainly could do someting about there own fatness but for some strange reason that is not acceptable to them either.
I'm guessing all you "perfect" people putting down overweight people and making jokes never, ever get laid. You guys really sound like 16 year olds. Why don't you guys start posting links to pictures of yourselves so guys like me can point and laugh at you. That's what I thought, you guys posting that drivel don't want us to see that you are, in fact, 16 year olds who wouldn't know how to satisfy a girl if you had John Holmes himself coaching you.
To those who "think" fatness is genetic. This is total bull. If you workout and eat right you will become skinny. Don't buy in to that genetic crap.
Just a note to the brave "Anonymous" sixteen year old arrogant guys.
You guys know nothing about genetics. You guys know nothing about weight loss. You guys are obviously so ashamed of yourselves you are not even willing to identify yourself by a handle. It is so obvious you are all pathetic examples of manhood.
Larger women do not know it, but they are lucky that you all have weeded yourselves out of the running as suiters. Unfortunately there are some very nice thin women who will be chased by you arseholes. One of my thin friends tried to kill herself when she was younger because she couldn't get away from arseholes like you lot.
Rodney - *Hi-Five*
Do you have sisters? I don't have any brothers but two sisters and perhaps that is why we think differently than most. It's like the only times these guys ever seen a woman was on wankmyweewee.com. Bunch of Shallow Hal's that I'll bet are ooo-glay as hell but think they are the sh!te.
Lindsey and/or Emily,
I have looked and failed to find an email address. I hope you can access my address.
I want to suggest at least one story you could investigate. It is a positive story. Reading the comments of some of the women here is heartbreaking.
The one story you could do is to investigate groups like clubcuddly (clubcuddly.com.au). Places that support beautiful women and where men and women can meet for casual sex, swinging, and lifelong partners. It is not a perfect place, but places like clubcuddly are worth writing about for the sake of many of your readers.
Hey Rodney - Is there a US or North/South American version of that site? A friend of mine wants to know.....if you can access my e-mail from my name plz do send to me my Australian matey.
It is the mythology--the one repeated endlessly and often subtly in mainstream culture--that is the problem. This needs to be addressed as emphatically and persistently as well, until everyone, even men who regard fat as "repulsive" come to understand it IS a myth, and that myths are a means of CONTROL.
In specific reference to Number 3, when a man says "she doesn't respect herself," what he really means is: "she doesn't respect ME enough to bow down to what I, in my juvenile gimme, gimme, gimme state of being, WANT her to be."
Men have a right to their preference. However, they need to understand that fat women who accept themselves are actually incredibly strong (and hence, intimidating?), and above all that we're not looking for an "excuse" to be fat. We don't need one. There's nothing wrong with it.
Whoever wrote that, are you inside my head because it seems like you are running around in there. Glad that I'm a fat BLACK woman. Only some black men have those kind of hangups unlike MOST average-looking white guys!
I wouldn't date an over weight or ugly woman. I may seem heartless for saying that but if I am gonna date it should be someone that I could be faithful to and that wouldn't be them. But there again I am very picky I have friends that do date over weight women and some that are maried to them, I am very good friends with some of these women but in the end it would only end uo them getting hurt so to anwser your question, No I wouldn't date 1 of either over weight or ugly.
Here is some advice. Over weight people tend to be over weight do to the fact they eat alot of foods with carbs. Cut the carbs down and do some physical activity... I am not saying bust your ass but I think you would be happy with the results. I won't lie alot of it is genitics to as I can eat what ever I want and don't gain weight I also work my ass off everyday though to. I have other friends that eat anything and they gain weight but there they also don't do anything physical. Ask your self why do bodybuilders not eat alot of carbs?? Cause they want to be cut as much as they can. But I also agree with the guy that said we cannot help who we are and are not physically attracted, it has nothing to do with someone being 50, 30 or even 16 saying this and you saying that they are cowards for not posting a pic isn't right either. I don't see any pics of you so I guess that means you a coward or maybe acting like your the shit and really you are one of the over weight or ugly people?!
It seems very sad to me that men seem to think women are overweight because they have a mental defect or because they hate and disrespect themselves. I may be thicker than most guys would like, but I am a strong, intelligent, funny woman and I am secure in my self most of the time (we all have our moments, right?).
I think they have it backwards. I think that busting my ass at the gym and denying myself tasty food (and I don't mean unhealthy necessarily) would be disrespectful to myself. I love myself and enjoy my life. Why take away things I enjoy just to please some stupid man who can't spell and needs to take a refresher course in grammar?
It's certainly sad to read some of the responses, but not surprising when you consider where you advertised it. As an escort, I would never advertise on Craig's list, as it isn't exactly known for its quality connections. You're sharing ad space with broken TVs and beat up cars, and a lot of the people who read Craig's list aren't looking for quality. They are looking for something cheap or free, and it shows in the responses received from personal ads. Perhaps if you ran the ad in a higher quality space, you would get a more positive response.
This is truly the most retarded society ever! Who cares what people think. It is about loving yourself. Just because one person thinks your unattractive does not make it the gospel. There are just as many good people out there as there are superficial. I find that people who will put you down, simply have issues with themselves. If someone won't date you based on your looks, then you should be thankful that loser will not be a part of your life. Look at all the Hollywood Marriages! If looks were everything, there wouldn't be so many divorces. A person who is truly happy with themselves will not worry about what society or their friends think. I must say I always find it humorous when a guy will put a girl down for being overweight only to see many of them are overweight themselves. People should really take a good look in the mirror before passing judgement upon others. Everyone has there flaws. If people cannot overlook those flaws and see you for who you are then they simply don't deserve your time. Bottom line is there will always be someone that will try to knock you down. Anyone that would put you down for not meeting societies standards is probably not a good person to begin with and probably is insecure with himself. With that said, it is still good to try your best to exercise and eat healthy but not to please another individual. It should just be to stay healthy.
Oh and for all you BBW reading this, do not buy into the lie that no one will date a fat girl or that only an overweight individual would give you a chance. Do not settle for less than you deserve because you have more insulation than whats considered the norm. The responses listed here only tell thoughts of a small group of men. It is not fair to think all men feel this way. So don't give up on men or become a man hater. For as many pricks as there are there are also just as many decent men. Unfortunately, you sometimes have to meet a lot of jerks along the way. I know lots of men that find BBW extremely sexy. The Auora you give off tends to be what you attract. If you are unhappy and desperate, those men will find you. You are worth more than that. Don't let some stupid study on the internet make you feel insecure or unworthy. If there is one thing you should never do, is believe everything you read especially on the internet. Just remember you are better off alone then settling for less than you deserve.
To clarify what I define as fat I simply refer to the trusted and well know BMI indicator.
In America there is some confusion as to what is fat and what is not. So I will translate this into normal English:
I am a few pounds overweight = overweight
I am thick = morbidly obese
I am a BBW = extreme obesity
I am interested in women who are in the normal weight range. I like attractive women. I do not find fat women attractive. The good news for fat girls is because so many American women are overweight men have little choice but to accept a fat chick. Of coarse not all guys will lower there standards, many do not especially if they are earning a higher income.
As a guy am not expecting the heavily photo shop images you see on magazines. The steroid pumped pop singers or actresses. All we guys are asking for is something normal. Be in the normal weight range. That is what we want.
Remember your physical appearance (what you look like with no clothes on) is number one thing on every guys list, that means a healthy fit body.
There weren't any surprising answers from men here. As a morbidly obese woman, I KNOW men find me physically unappealing (and probably repulsive) which is why they do not ask me out or want to bed me. I have many male friends and they enjoy my mind and all, but I know that our intellectual connection doesn't over-ride the physical turn off of layers and rolls of fat. It is the way of the world. I am not attracted to really obese men either so don't know why I would expect a normal-weighted man to be physically attracted to me. Perhaps brutal observations but I have lived long enough to know that just because I want the world to see the "me" under the fat, won't make it so!
i just want to point out that there are ways to not necessarily lose weight, but still reap INsane benefits, from exercising in an effective way and eating a healthful diet.
and yes, it is possible to do both of those things without being an anorexic/ gym rat, devoting all your time to these things as obsessions to the extent of just being a normal person who chills with friends and drinks some beer on the weekend.
if you have a decent and varied regimen of weightlifting and deadweights for the legs, and eat lots of yummy vegetables like spinach and tons of oatmeal and salad and stuff all the time, you can in exchange reap the benefits of feeling great and (verrrryyy possibly) maintaining a strong, if not svelte figure.
there is a figure that 95% of people fail at losing weight. this is because, not at their own faults, they just don't know enough about the science of nutrition. 95% of people are following mainstream diets like jenny craig or "points". NO guarentees of proper nutrition and/or balanced diet = just wrong. 95% of people are doing atkins and starving themselves of carbs they will eventually binge on = obviously, obviously wrong. 95% of people are getting on sugar and carb highs from eating too much of these refined and processed materials, including those "100 calorie packs" which dieters seem to feel are so healthy, and all that crap the body doesn't feel like processing = also the wrong way to go about eating.
but is it possible to discard the mainstream """diet""" advice and just eat in an awesome way that will prevent you from gaining a ton of weight, and will keep you fit healthy and strong? definitely.
the trick is, you can't cut calories and you do need to know a LOT about nutrition. the first thing to do is EAT TONS, but eat healthy!! then process it a bunch via muscular activity which will imrpove your digestive function and the overall strength of your body.
you can still have chocolate, beer, and cheese, and i won't even say "in moderation" because no one wants to do that. just LISTEN TO YOUR BODY.. it will tell you when they've had enough. eat ANYTHING your body wants, and you'll find it usually wants some good calories from green leafy vegetables and yogurts, meat and beans, hearty breads with butter. just avoid the processed crap and you'll be fine. but have it once in a while just so you remember, that you're not really missing anything.
here's what is BAD: obsession about food and diet to the neglect of other interests, or having friends and loved ones. i used to be obsessed and i struggle to find a balance, but i'd rather not just throw it out the window just because of some crappy mainstream diet advice and misogynistic cultural messages that encourage women that being thin is THE Most important thing. you can't throw the baby out with the bathwater though, maintaining a strong healthy body should stil be a priority for living a good life.
so do what you can for your body, a body of any size, men AND Women. yes i am a woman, yes i lift weights. do it out of a place of loving yourself and your wonderful body, especially women, instead of feeling weak and only valued for a low weight the way the media desires you to be. grow STRONG, in the body, and mind will follow. grow disciplined in the body, and the mind will follow. it becomes a reciprocal process.
a good quote that applies here is a proverb i once heard, something along the lines of "God, give me the strength to change what i can, the courage to accept what i cannot, and the wisdom to know the difference"
peace, beautiful people.
I found this blog very interesting. I for one was one of those men that only date thin or at most average women. I have to say it was my loss and I found this out later in life.
I dated a "larger" lady after I got divorced from a lady that was a size 8. I also had dated some other women after my divorce...none bigger than a size twelve. I have probably slept with about 25 women in my life. The funny thing is that the sex with the larger lady has been the BEST by far...no if ands or buts...100% the best! She also knows how to "please" a man better than any of the other women I have been with. I can have multiple orgasms with her and have never been able to before.
This lady also takes care of herself (she is large because of a thyroid problem), is cleaner than all the women I have been with and is always a blast to be with. She is also a semi-pro singer and can make your heart melt when she sings.
I say to my fellow men...don't judge a book by its cover...you are the only one that is missing out.
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