Thursday, September 22, 2005

I've Got A Brown Belt In Eating

So, I thought every fat girl had it, but according to Lindsey, she doesn't have one and therefore, not everyone does. What am I talking about? A brown belt. No, not like karate. Like, on my skin. I've dubbed this discoloration my brown belt for a long time, and after a talk with Lindsey yesterday, (whose computer is down and out), I realized that not only have I given myself this brown belt, but I've deformed my body.

My brown belt lies at the belly button part of my stomach. It looks, well, like a brown belt of some sorts. Lindsey, being the detective she is, finally told me that the reason I have a brown belt, is because my pants are too tight and therefore they are rubbing against my body and leaving their mark. And, because my pants are too tight, I've basically deformed my body. But, this didn't make any sense to me. I can button my pants and therefore they fit, right? Wrong. This seems funny to me because I've always had a problem with fat girls wearing clothes that don't fit. I hate seeing shirts where it looks like the buttons are holding on for dear life or pants that have a horrible popover of flesh. I didn't think I had this problem ever. I guess I was wrong.

What I have done is taken a lovely fat belly and made it into two fat bellies. I call them my 1st floor and my 2nd floor. My tits are the attic and well, my nether regions are the basement. I hate my 1st and 2nd floor. I wouldn't mind it so much if it was just a one story home, but a two story house, I'm not so thrilled with. Because I've worn tight pants, I have molded my body into having this 2 story home, like a balloon that has been squeezed in the middle and the markings and shape are left. Is it too late to mold my body back into a 1 story home? I don't know. But, I guess it's time to say goodbye to the Gap online section next time I need a new pair of jeans.

The thing I didn't understand about the way my pants were fitting was, at first, they were/are too tight, but, after a few initial squats, (yeah, you know what I'm talking about), my jeans would loosen up and after a few wearings without washing, they go on without me having to hold my breath in. So, I figured that's how pants are supposed to fit.

Cue the sound of the "Wrong" buzzer.

Because of this theory I had, I'm now left deformed and discolored. As a fatty, I should just know better...but now I'm basically screwed.

17 comments:

Anonymous said...

No no no, I had it too. It goes away after some time if you stop wearing pants that cinch you in the waist.

I often wear pants a little tight because I'm so damn short. If they fit my waist they're twice as long. I spare the public by covering up with a big shirt. So I don't expose the flesh that melts over the belt.

since my pants are fitting a lot better lately it has gone away in some areas. I now have it in other areas where loose skin is shriveling up. gosh how gross does that sound?

Anonymous said...

ugh! I have it too! I thought it was from sun exposure (when I work in the yard, my shirt rides up when I bend over). It's wider in the back...

mainja said...

i knew there was a reason i only wore these elastic banded pants...

Jennette Fulda said...

I don't have a belt, but the skin on my inner thighs is darker than the rest of my body from all that rubbing together.

Anonymous said...

actually ladies, what you have is acanthosis nigricans, which is caused by insulin resistance/being overweight. it shoes up in any or all body creases. i had it also, and after i've lost weight recently, it is gone. has nothing at all to do with rubbing.

Anonymous said...

I found this page on acanthosis nigricans which has pics:

http://dermatology.cdlib.org/DOJvol6num1/
original/acanthosis/katz.html

Anonymous said...

Is dani the only one here who goes to the doctor?

Anonymous said...

The pictures on that link don't look anything like the dark skin I have on my inner thighs...

Anonymous said...

Ok, I've got to admit it--this is grossing me out. If having a dark ring around your waist, pendulous boobs, an enormous butt, four floors to your body, etc. also grosses you out (as I've read in this blog) DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT! I recognize this isn't easy, but *you* are the boss here and only *you* can change things.
DO IT! It *will* change your life.

Anonymous said...

Oh, shall we just wave our magic wand?!

What do you actually expect us to do?

You make it sound so easy.

I suppose you think if we just stopped eating to excess (if indeed we even do) - or if we stop eating the 'wrong' foods - then we'll soon be becoming slimmer?

Or perhaps you think if we exercise for 40 minutes a day - then we'll soon be becoming slimmer?

Well, guess what? I've done both. The result? After two years of 40 minutes exercise a day, I'd gone down a size, wooee! By the way, the exercise hurt - the whole time.

After six months of no junk food, not even fruit juice, no desserts at all, the result?
Zip - zero - nothing!

Anonymous said...

If it grosses you out. DON'T READ IT.

Anonymous said...

Okay, girls, back in your corners. Calm down.

Anonymous said...

Well, I'd just like to know what I'm supposed to do about my pendulous boobs.

Anonymous said...

The photos you see online for acanthosis nigricans are very severe cases. I've done more research on obesity and poly cystic ovarian syndrome than probably most family doctors, so I do know my stuff on this one. I wish I had before photos of mine before I lost weight . I still rub in the same places (infact worse due to sagging skin, yay! =P), but no color!

Anonymous said...

i think that the 1st and 2nd floors are pretty normal. i mean, i prefer having somewhat of an indent around my midsection which wouldn't be there if i had one round potbelly. kinda makes me look more feminine that i would otherwise.

Rosemary Riveter said...

I'm a bit overweight, and my inner thighs are darker in skin tone. I always assumed it's because of rubbing (yum, I know). Thing is, I know my blood glucose / insulin system is in good order, so the discolouration thing can't be due to acanthosis nigricans on me, since that condition is linked to insulin resistance. There's probably other factors besides that one condition.

I'm loosing weight now, and I'm also pretty unhappy with the effect on my boobs. It sucks to have a permanent reminder that you stretched your skin out a few sizes too far!

Anonymous said...

As an FA, I like seeing "2 floors" on a women. I like it in very large (>400#) women as well as smaller women.
One favorite image I have is of a smaller BBw (170-200#) wearing tight jeans with a nice belly bulge below her belted waist and another bulge above her waist. She had very pretty love handles at her sides and was overall a very attractive BBw.

So, choose how you feel about your body, but remember there is a great diversity of opinion out in the world!