Tuesday, August 09, 2005


This is the 4th time this has happened to me, and I know that it has happened to Emily as well...AND I AM SERIOUSLY SICK OF IT!!!!!

What is this crazy fat girl so pissed about? I'll tell you: I am sick of being fatishized by some boy who strings me along for a few weeks, and then drops the bomb that he actually has a girlfriend and just wanted to fuck a fatty before he either ties the knot or gives her the ring!

FATISHIZING is a word I made up last week, but I think it's pretty self-explanatory, and I would like to introduce it to the English language. It means being fetishized for being fat. While I understand that I am probably alienating half of our readers by writing this, my disclaimer is that I am talking for myself (and possible Emily), and that some fat girls may feel differently.

I understand fetishes, most people have some, and in general there is nothing wrong with them. I am pretty open to people's sexual variations and desires. And believe me, I am all about the men (and women) who enjoy people of size. But what I don't enjoy is being boiled down to what amounts to a mound of fat and a hole. Yes, I am fat. Yes, I know that I attract a certain type of person. No, I don't like being viewed as a belly and a vagina...AND I CERTAINLY DON'T WANT TO BE YOUR EXPERIMENT BEFORE YOU MARRY A SKINNY GIRL!!!

I guess I wouldn't be so upset if I was told that the guy had a girlfriend upfront. That way, I could say, "Oh, sorry, not into men with girlfriends". But as it is, it is just depressing to be viewed as the pathetic fat girl who would fuck an attached guy before he went off and married his more socially acceptable girlfriend. I may be fat, but I'm still cute, smart, and interesting, and one day I'll be some boys first choice...not his fatxperiment.

And the sad thing is that these boys really seem to like fatties, and are condemning themselves to lives of slowly trying to plump their wives up, like 2 lbs a year, while she bemoans her slow weight gain and thinks her husband isn't attracted to her anymore.

So, sorry mom, as of today, there is no Jewish doctor in my future ... he already has a girlfriend. But he will secretly fuck me in a motel to satisfy his fat fantasy.


standing still for a moment said...

I happened on a link to your journal in someone else's. I have started reading you every day.

I LOVE LOVE LOVE it that you tell it like it is and express the secret fears and happenings that most of us fat chicks are too scared to share.

I think you should write a book!

(a fellow curvy, voluptuous, rubenesque, plump, fat chick!)

Abbey said...

i'm sorry that happened to you. that guy sounds like a total asshole and i feel sorry for his girlfriend for being such an idiot and for being an idiot because she's with him.

in any event, i love reading your blog. you're hilarious. does your friend ever post?

Jess said...


every fat girl is all too familiar with this.
when you find that nice guy who loves a fatty, and not just as a sperm dumpster, but actually wants to introduce said fatty to his parents and what not - let me know. and ask if he has a brother.

in the mean time, it's back to craigslist to satisfy my horniness.

It's totally true that fat girls give the best head.

Becky said...

Some guys need a large whack round the head, no? Alas, mainly I wanted to say I think your blog is tre fantastic, and I hope you continue writing, lord knows I'll be reading :)

Plus Jess, ^_^ I have a guy who loves this fatty for who she is and has been introduced to said parents :D And he has a brother! ;)

Looking forward to your next post!

Anonymous said...

Most fat women, I believe, would like boyfriends who just love women in general, not fat women in particular - but who of course love us individually in particular.

Augustus said...

There are guys out there that are true "fat lovers," for lack of a better term. Let me explain. I cannot find skinny women attractive. It's not possible. I can watch porn until doomsday without the least reaction. When I see a thin/skinny woman, no matter how pretty she might be, my reaction is just like seeing another man. No reaction. Nothing.

This was difficult for me when I was in high school. There was a lot of anti-fat stigma, of course. But finally I was able to accept myself for who I am. I found the right partner - she happens to like fat men, so it worked out.

There are guys out there. In fact, I think most guys find larger women attractive, but the never overcome the anti-fat stigma. That's their problem, not yours.

Finding a lover who accepts you for you can be hard, but it is possible and it will eventually work out for you! In the end, that's the only kind of relationship that will last.

Anonymous said...

Geeze, that's horrible -- the worst.

Did you tell the nice Jewish doctor's fiance that he did this to you? Strikes me that she ought to know. Maybe email her a link to this blog entry? Then she can decide if she wants to marry a man who cheats on her BEFORE THE WEDDING .

And maybe he'll learn that it's not nice to use fellow human beings as, as you put it, a mound of fat and a hole.

Anonymous said...

I totally agree!
My guy loves me no matter what size I am (I am currently a larger size) When I was skinny (a size 7 for about 30 seconds of my life) He always begged me to put some weight on...he said i didn't look healthy.
I have also been out at a size seven which is very skinny for me, and have a guy hit on me saying he loves a woman with (get this) CURVES!!! A size seven woman with curves! I wasn't really insulted when he said it, but I thought, if you think a size seven is curvy, what do you think a size 16 or 18 is???Wow! Gimme a break!
I think it's the best when we are with people who loves us for who we are, not what we weigh, no matter which end of the scale we're on